Hilarious Mouse Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Mouse Jokes

There's a mouse named In and a mouse named Out. How does Out know that In has died? Instincts

Score: 1235

What sounds like a mouse, but much, much louder? #**A MOUSE**

Score: 330

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

Score: 286

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.

Score: 262

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A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.

Score: 167

Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.

Score: 146

Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl as a theme park. They say ”Its just like Disneyland.” Except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Score: 145

Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer. The lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy"

Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"

Score: 137

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

Score: 125

Goofy tripped over a stone and got hurt Mickey Mouse : Hey Goofy ! Are you okay?

Goofy(crying) : No i got hurt on my knee!!

Mickey Mouse : Oh No ! Which knee?

Goofy(pointing to his leg) : Disney

Score: 81

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

Score: 67

I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today... It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

Score: 62

The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese

Score: 56

What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen? Rats!

Score: 51

Micky Mouse isn't quick enough to avoid my punches. But Donald ducks.

Score: 45

Why does Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter? It Disney land.

Score: 45

What did Mickey Mouse yell when the president was about to be shot? Donald!! Duck!!!

Score: 35

I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat We're like Modest Mouse but way better

Score: 34

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

Score: 31

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? Because Donald ducked.

Score: 31

If the plural or mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice... What does it really mean if my spouse wants to spice things up?

Score: 26

How high do you have to be to adopt a mouse as your son and name it Stuart a little

Score: 25

Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl as a theme park. They say ”Itsguuna be just like Disneyland.”

Yeah except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Score: 23

I'm a bit like a mouse - women who see me are often repulsed. They also find me secretly living in their home.

Score: 20

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"

because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

Score: 19

First bird gets the worm, second mouse gets the cheese but the third wife gets The White House

Score: 17

What is grey, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse going on holiday.

Score: 17

What do we call a wireless mouse? Hamster.

Source: **Dad**

Score: 15

Which mouse can walk with two legs? Mickey Mouse. But which duck can walk with two legs? All of them dumbass

Score: 15

Early Bird The early bird gets the worm.

...

But the second mouse gets the cheese.

Score: 12

Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.

Score: 8

What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite type of car A Mini Coupé

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What's gray, has big ears, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

Score: 7

What do you call a mouse wearing spectacles? .
.
.
.
An optical mouse.

Tada!!

Score: 6

I bought a Mickey Mouse puzzle. It said 3 to 5 years on it. It only took me 15 months to finish.

Score: 5

A mouse entered my house He ate everything, even drank some redbull and now I have a bat problem

Score: 5

What do you call white mouse rappers? Vanilla mice

Score: 4

If you give a mouse a cookie... You don't understand computers.

Score: 4

Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says "so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"
Mickey replies "No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy."

Score: 3

New Mouse Jokes

I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse but I didn't get the part. The director said I was too Goofy

Score: 2

Why aren't polygamists referred to as spices? If the plural form of mouse is mice...then logically the plural form of spouse should be spice.
Because when you get more than one things get spicy.

Score: 2

Why aren't poligomists referred to as spice? If the plural of mouse is mice, then logically the plural of spouse should be spice...
It just makes sense because when you have more than one things get spicy.

Score: 2

What’s so special about Mickey Mouse What’s so special about Mickey Mouse: He walks two legged

What’s so special about Donald Duck: You guessed wrong all ducks stand on two feet

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When does a black cat bring bad luck? When you’re a mouse!

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My wife gave me a mouse and a keyboard for my birthday. I learned to play "KLONKY DONKEY" on the keyboard and trained that little fella to dance.

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A family of mice was surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

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The mouse wife shouts to his husband: "John, I already told you you need to stop eating so much Emmentaler!" The husband replies: "please, Helen, leave me alone. I'm already desperat enough".

Score: 1

What did Mickey Mouse say when a Frisbee was heading towards Trump? Donald Duck!

Score: 2

The inventor of the computer mouse has died. They should have right clicked and saved him.

Score: 1

I had a teacher that was a broken mouse. Her name was Miss Click.

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What's grey and has a big trunk? A mouse going on holiday.

Score: 3

When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? When you are a mouse.

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Ukraine is opening a theme park in Chernobyl. It's like Disneyland, except the 2 metre mouse is real.

Score: 3

I remember when I first figured out how to use a mouse It just clicked.

Score: 2

I couldn't figure out why my mouse wasn't working Then it clicked.

Score: 2

Why are cats always sitting on keyboards? So they can play with the mouse

*bah dum tsss*

Score: 3

What do you throw on stage at a mouse strip club? Kraft Singles.

Score: 2

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse.

Score: 1

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears? A mouse going on vacation.

Score: 3