Hilarious Painting Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Painting Jokes

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Score: 121

Teacher: OK Sally, make a sentence using the word ‘contagious’ Sally: Our neighbour is painting his whole house with a two inch brush and my dad said it’s going to take the contagious.

Score: 85

Did you know there used to be a van in the painting “Starry Night”? Where did the Van Gogh?

Score: 32

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow. "What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Score: 30

Score: 27

Oh my. This painting really reminds me of my late uncle... Because it touches me so much

Score: 26

Do you know why Van Gogh got into painting Be cause he didn't have an ear for music.

Score: 22

Look I don’t know who this “Rorschach” guy is But he’s got some nerve painting my parents fighting so often

Score: 22

I decided to teach Karate to my neighbor's kid He was enthusiastic the first 2 days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences...

Score: 17

Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

Score: 17

My art teacher says that i am obsessed with The Rolling Stones and told me to stop painting their logo in her class. So i Paint It Black

Score: 16

Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.

Score: 12

That has got to be the worst painting of a wagon I have ever seen "It's a horse-drawn carriage", replied the artist.

Score: 10

This racism thing has gone too far I mean you can't even say black paint anymore, you have to say "Leeroy, would you mind painting the fence"

Score: 10

I finally realized why the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware is such a big deal It depicts the last time someone willingly entered New Jersey.

Score: 10

What's common between an old guy and a painting? It only takes one bad stroke to kill them.

Score: 10

A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it... He put his Monet where his mouth is.

Score: 9

What's Michael Jackson's favorite painting? The Sha-Mona Lisa.

Score: 9

I hung a painting today perfectly on the first try I straight up nailed it

Score: 8

I was painting the house with my kids yesterday. It was fun and all, but I wasn't sure where to hide the bodies.

Score: 8

I'm not real familiar with who this Rorschach guy is... ...but he sure loves painting pictures of naked dudes.

Score: 8

Today, I saw a painting unveiled at a museum, but it was merely a red dot on canvas. It must have been a period piece.

Score: 8

Ever since I started a company painting ceilings… Business has been looking up.

Score: 8

What’s the difference between losing a van and losing a painting? You’ll either be asking “Where’d the van go?” or “Where’d the Van Gogh go?”

Score: 8

Why did the innocent painting go to prison? Because it was framed.

Score: 8

I don't believe the Rorschach test works, you know the therapy ink block test thing!? I don't know who it is but they keep just painting pictures of my parents fighting

Score: 8

A couple hooked up to the Joy of painting..... 9 months later they had a happy little accident

Score: 8

A real Picasso painting declared a forgery by a fake authenticator... ...is art officially artificial according to an artificial art official.

Score: 7

It's politically incorrect to say 'black paint' these days... You must say, "Jamal, would you mind painting the fence please?"

Score: 7

Girl, are you a painting? Cause I'd like to hang you in my room

Score: 7

What do you call a sick painting? An Ill-ustration.

Score: 5

I decided to teach Karate to my neighbor's kid for free He was enthusiastic the first 2 days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences...

Score: 5

Caravaggio was so unappreciated in his time, he never sold a single painting. He was baroque.

Score: 5

Blonde painting a house Did you hear about the blonde who wore two jackets when she painted the house?

The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats."

Score: 5

Why did the cops let the painting go? Cause it was framed.

Score: 4

What was Hitler's favorite color to use when painting? Aryan white.

Score: 4

For our art homework we had to do a painting and my teacher asked me where mine was. I said, "My dog ate it."

"But you don't have a dog..." said the girl next to me.

"You're right," I replied, "not any more."

Score: 4

I tried painting my computer black to make it run faster but now, it won't work!

Score: 2

What kind of painting can put you to sleep? An aesthetic.

Score: 2

What’s Michael Jackson‘s favourite painting? Shamona Lisa

Score: 2

New Painting Jokes

Bush jr stopped painting and is now a DJ He only plays Dubyastep

Score: 0

Why did a painting self-destruct itself after the auction? So the artist could laugh all the way to the Banksy.

Score: 0

I’m a painter and my friend is an author I recently did a painting and sold it at auction for a hundred dollars. At the same time my friend published a short story for the same price

I guess a picture is worth a thousand words

Score: 1

Van Gogh started painting at 27, but had to give it up 10 years later... ...apparently his glasses kept falling off.

(OC: Jimmy Carr)

Score: 2

A woman walks into a bar with a kid, holding brown paint in one hand, paintbrushes in the other. The bartender says: "Is that your son? He isn't allowed in here."

The woman says: "I promised I would give him a chocolate bar, so everybody start painting."

Score: 2

I went to an art event this morning, and this painting really SPOKE to me... I then remembered that I forgot to take my schizophrenia medication.

Score: 1

My wife says I have too many hobbies I already gave up tennis and swimming, but painting is where I draw the line.

Score: 2

What did the painting of the Haywain and the rash on the lesbians chin have in common? They are both by Constable

(really bad, so sorry)

Score: 1

My kid keeps painting lots of bar graphs and lines... I'm worried he is artistic!

Score: 1

What is the painting in Milwaukee of Pope Benedict called using 17,000 Colored Condoms? Eggs Benedict.

Score: 2

I'm opening the first place you can create a painting and brew your own beer It's called "Arts & Crafts"

Score: 2

Did you hear about the painting that was falsely sent to prison? He was framed.

Score: 2

Painter sees a critic standing in front of his painting... Walks up to him and asks "What's your opinion of my painting?" Critic: "It's worthless!"
Painter: "Yeah I know, but I'd like to hear it anyway"

Score: 1