Party Jokes

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Funniest Party Jokes

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Score: 19374

I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party. Everyone came, you should have seen her face.

Score: 16331

How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. Never split the party.

Score: 7057
Funny Party Jokes
Score: 2725

**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS** Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.

Score: 2253

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

Score: 2223

A guy goes to a halloween party with a girl on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"

Score: 2216

Me: “Did you invite Dan to the party?” My friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “Cannibal Dan or Dan that can’t spell?”

*notification from my friends phone, it’s a text from Dan.* “I can’t wait to meat your friends tonight.

My friend: “I’m not sure”

Score: 2028

I had a bukkake party last night. It was a disaster. Nobody came.


Edit: Wow! While I was gone this really...exploded.

Score: 1883

I invited my girlfriend of 3 months to a party for my 13 year old nephew. She let out an audible "awww," told me how sweet I was and that my invitation meant the world to her. Should've seen the look on her face when I told her it was a search party.

Score: 1794

A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?" The bear responds:"No, I'm stuffed."

Score: 1688

A black guy and a white girl are at a party A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs

Score: 1438

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 1187

007 recieves a new mission... to infiltrate a party and mingle. His orders are to, "bond James, bond".

Score: 959

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

Score: 861

I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came.

Edit: grammar.

Score: 769

A kid asks, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?" The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."

Score: 769

One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?".... The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".

Score: 615

A guy goes to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken and meets a girl dressed as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 613

Why was e^x so lonely at the party? Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

Score: 546

My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24 What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.

Score: 520

Lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl.

^not ^^on ^^^my ^^^^watch.

Score: 519

I was invited to a party... 'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too.

Score: 493

However, he can't, because the punch line is out of order. A man at a party wants to grab some punch, so he walks to the punch line.

Score: 479

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken. I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

Score: 461

I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. You should have seen her face.

Score: 422

Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Score: 402

How do you stop a Mormon from drinking all the beer at your party? Invite a second Mormon.

Score: 399

Yesterday I was at a Weight Watchers party but nobody mentioned obesity. There were just too many elephants in the room.

Score: 389

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Score: 385

My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, So I made her and all her friends clean the house.

Score: 344

My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother’s surprise party. That’s when I realized he was her favourite twin.

Score: 244

I lost my watch I lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the face. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.

Score: 229

A boy asks his mom why he's black and she's white She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark."

Score: 222

Why are North Korean weekends so lame? Because theres only one party.

Score: 200

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Score: 196

This Halloween I decided to go as a harp. As I walked into the party, a gentleman asked, "what are you supposed to be?" "A harp", I replied.
"No, no. You're much too small to be a harp" he protested.
So I asked, "are you calling me a lyre?"

Score: 196

I think there are nine vampires coming to my dinner party. Oh, wait... I forgot to Count Dracula.

Score: 104

Watch Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.

Score: 96

Don't show up late for a cannibal's dinner party... You'll get the cold shoulder

Score: 89

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New Party Jokes

Why did the IRS officer arrest the prostitute at the dinner party? Because she was working under the table

Score: 11

One day a boy asks his mother “Why are you white and I’m black”
His mother replies,
“Son, what I can recall from that party, you are lucky you don’t bark”

Score: 30

Where do you take an amish kid for their birthday party? Build-A-Barn

Score: 10

There’s this joke about a party host who made his guests line up for juice. I can’t seem to remember the entire joke- but I know there was a long punch line.

Score: 14

Went to a costume party last night The host asked what I was supposed to be, so I told him I dressed up as a harp. "But your costume is too small to be a harp," he said.

"Are you calling me a lyre?"

Score: 12

What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party? A cereal killer.

Score: 20

What do you call a blind fascist? A member of the "Not-see" party

Score: 13

What do farmers say when they want to party? Hay, lettuce turnip the beets

Score: 43

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

Score: 14

I went to a Halloween party and saw two people wrapped in a barcode. I asked them " Are you two an item?"

Score: 15

I went to an underground party dressed as a bird. I was raven for hours.

Score: 40

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? Because he wanted to find a tight seal.

Score: 27

I’ll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was standing there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat friend.

They’d gone together, dressed as the number ten. I knew there and then, she was the one.

Score: 22

I was at an office party last night. They played the Twist and I twisted, they played Jump Around and I jumped around. Unfortunately, I was asked to leave when they played Come on Eileen

Score: 18

How do you get 30 rowdy, drunk Canadians out of your pool after a house party? Ask them politely, "Please get out of the pool".

Score: 33

Why was the mushroom the life of the party? Because he was giving out free cocaine

Score: 14

I was a party. My friend said, "You see that girl over there? She's hardcore. She gets high by snorting insects." I made a beeline for her.

Score: 18

Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.

Score: 27

I told my Girlfriend, "There's a party in my pants and you're invited." She said it was a search party

:(

Score: 23

I lost my watch at a party once. About an hour later I saw some guy standing on it while harassing a woman. Infuriated, I went over and punched him in the face. Nobody does that to a woman, not on my watch.

Score: 51

What do you call two crows trying to throw a party? Attempted murder

Score: 15

Why couldn't the priest make it to the party? He had friar commitments.

Score: 16

What did the ghost say at the party? I'm just here for the boos.

Score: 24

I went to a party and all the party games were dreadful, they resorted to the Limbo for entertainment Like seriously, how low can you go?

Score: 59

I went to a wife swapping party the other night. Came back with a great stereo.

Score: 19

If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be... Franken Stein 2020

Score: 10

A boy says to his mother, "Mom, how come you're white but I'm black?" "Sweetie, the way I remember that party, you're lucky you don't bark."

Score: 38

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games... They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

Score: 20

I once lost my watch at a party I saw a guy step on it while sexually assualting a girl. I walked up to him and punched him the face. No one does that to a girl. Not on my watch.

Score: 28

How do you call a circle jerk that got way out of hand? A political party

Score: 10

Guy with a lisp turns up to a dinner party carrying a selection of cheeses and a couple of ducks under his arm The host says, "thanks for bringing the cheese, but why the ducks?"

The guest replies, "can't have cheese without cwackers"

Score: 30

Why did the mushroom go to the party? 'Cos he's a fungi!

Why didn't he get in?

There wasn't mushroom!

Score: 60

A circle went to a party uninvited "This party is only for shapes with edges. You cannot be here.", said the triangle.

The circle replied, sipping his drink, "I know. That's just how I roll."

Score: 10

How does a farmer party He turnips the beets

Score: 14

My friend once got an invite to a party that said "black tie only" But when he got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.

Score: 62

Yesterday we had a communist party... We enjoyed it to the marx.

Score: 11

For my girlfriend's birthday, I threw her a surprise bukkake party. You should have seen her face!

Score: 18

Lost my watch at a house party one time. Saw a guy steppin on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to him... ...punched him strait in the face. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.

Score: 35

In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the Party can always find you.

Score: 25

My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.

Score: 10

Me and the wife went to an 80's themed fancy dress party last week. She didn't want me to go as a pop star... ...but i was adamant

Score: 12

I went to a party at a morgue the other day We cracked open a few cold ones

Score: 15

So Thor threw a really small surprise party for his Adopted Brother's birthday. It was Loki

Score: 10

How do farmers get the party started? They turnip the beets.

Score: 53

I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward... ...probably because I wasn't invited...

Score: 14

How does NASA throw a holiday party? They planet.

Score: 27

A chemistry lab is like a giant party; Some people like dropping acid, others prefer dropping the base.

Score: 20

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party? I'll be Bach.

Score: 26

Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party? Because he always brings the boos

Score: 18

Lost my wristwatch at a party once. A guy stepped on it while sexually harassing a girl. I punched him straight in the chin, knocking him out. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch.

Score: 38

A Spanish magician is at a party He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 54

Why wasn't Kanye allowed to have a prostitute at his bachelor party? Because you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding

Score: 64

My wife and I are hosting a get together tonight that ends at 11:30.. We're calling it a before New Year's leave party.

Score: 14

A Minsk fireman gets home from work... ... and says to his wife, "They told me that tomorrow I either go to Chernobyl or hand in my Party card."

"But you're not in the party," she replies.

"Right, so I'm wondering how do I get a Party card by tomorrow morning?"

Score: 15

Donald Trump is not actually a member of the Republican Party He's a *Whig*

Score: 42

I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet

Score: 14

Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

Score: 23

A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear, and she asks it.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"

The bear responds:

"No, I'm stuffed."

Score: 38

A black boy asks his white parents "Daddy why are your and mommy's faces so bright if mine is so dark?" says the kid. The dad looks at him and goes: "Jimmy the party was so wild you should be happy you're not barking now".

Score: 34

My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born... ...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.

Score: 52

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