Pepper Jokes

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Funniest Pepper Jokes

How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Score: 10773

My grandfather says he survived mustard gas and pepper sprays during war. He's a seasoned veteran.

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What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran

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A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.

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Funny Pepper Jokes
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What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.

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I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

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I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran

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How do you weigh a chilli pepper? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Score: 1437

What do you call a Japanese spice demon? Pepper-oni.

Score: 1008

How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Score: 560

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.

Score: 329

I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran.

Score: 327

*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?" "How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"

"Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"

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What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks? A seasoned veteran.

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What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.

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There was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's now a seasoned veteran.

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I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.

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What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed? A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry

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My Grandfather survived pepper spray and mustard gas during world war 2 He’s a seasoned veteran.

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How can you tell how heavy a red hot chili pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

Score: 160

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree? The University of Minnesoda

Score: 153

I got lead poisoning from a Dr. Pepper knock-off I guess I shouldn’t drink Mr. Pb again

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When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.

Score: 147

Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed? He's a seasoned veteran now.

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A soldier survived mustard gas one day, and was pepper sprayed the next. He was a seasoned veteran.

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I met a Soldier that survived Mustard Gas and Pepper spray He was a seasoned Veteran

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During the war, my Grandad faced pepper spray and mustard gas. He's a seasoned veteran.

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I always cry before talking to attractive girls Any tips against pepper spray?

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.

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I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. Crazy conversations, he was definitely a seasoned veteran.

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Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? They say that he's a seasoned veteran.

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What's the difference between a chili and rape? One's a pepper and one's assault

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The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran.

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I say a soldier who survives a mustard gas and a pepper spray attack must be a seasoned veteran.

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A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's a seasoned veteran.

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After years in the Military After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.

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A soldier Survived mustard gas in the battle , and then the pepper spray by the police. He is now a seasoned veteran.

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Did you hear about the retired soldier that got mustard gassed and pepper sprayed by the police? He's now a seasoned veteran.






Not sure if this is a repost, one of my friends told me this

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Do you know about the soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas? He's a seasoned veteran.

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New Pepper Jokes

Dr Pepper is supposed to taste like mixed fruit I've never sent a fruit salad back because it was "too dr peppery"

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Guy That Thanos Snapped: So... what happened to pregnant women and their babies? Guy That Didn't Get Snapped: Let's just say I never want to see a pepper shaker ever again.

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Dr. Pepper tried to sell jalapeño-flavored drinks in Iceland It was given a chili reception

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While in the military I experienced both mustard gas and pepper spray... I am a seasoned veteran.

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A soldier once got attacked by pepper spray and mustered gas He became a seasoned veteran..........Sorry

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A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by police. He’s now a seasoned veteran

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How can you tell how heavy a red hot chili pepper is? 🌶 Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Score: 33

Why is there no '.' after the DR in "Dr Pepper?" Because real doctors don't have periods

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I need help: every time I approach a cute girl on the street, I uncontrollably start to cry. Does anyone know how to cope with pepper spray?

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What kind of pepper do you not want as a neighbor? A jalapeño, because they get jalapeño business.

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My grandad is a soldier and has survived pepper spray and mustard gas He's a seasoned veteran.

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Before I go on any long journeys, I always put some salt and pepper on my head. I'm a well-seasoned traveller.

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Why was the pepper shivering? Because it was chilli.

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What is a jihadist's favorite kind of pepper? Allahpeño

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Why do sharks like to swim in salt water? Because if it was pepper water, they'd sneeze

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Why did the pepper put on a sweater? It was Chili

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What happens when a chili pepper gets mad at you? He gets jalapeño face!!!

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What do you call a war hero covered in salt and pepper? A seasoned veteran.

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in cans and bottles? His wife is dead.

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How do you find out how heavy a Chili Pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

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As things heat up in Charlotte, Virginia... Remember that pepper spray is super effective against white nationalist because they aren't use to seasoning.

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What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno Business ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Why do fish live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

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How do you find the mass of a Chilli Pepper? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!

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How do you know how heavy a chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh, give a weigh, give it a weigh now.

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What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno buisness

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The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's a seasoned veteran

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My son wouldn't stop crying when he spilled the last Dr. Pepper on his feet. He was soda feeted.

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he doesn't have a wife

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Some people bring pepper spray for self protection. Others carry a gun. I bring Goo-Gone for sticky situations.

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What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier? A hot-diggity-dog!

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How do you know heavy a chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh give it a weigh give it a weigh now.

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Do you have any idea how heavy a chili pepper is? Why don't you go ahead and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

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Do u know how much a chili pepper weighs? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh give it a weigh now

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French Pepper A french guest was in a hotel. He phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"toilet pepper!"

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Did you hear about the soldier who survived a mustard gas attack and got pepper sprayed? He is a real seasoned veteran.

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What happens when a pepper gets mad at you? It gets jalapeño face

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What on Earth is a nosey pepper?! It's one that gets all jalapeno business (sorry)

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A soldier was mustard gassed, then he was pepper sprayed by the police... He is now a seasoned veteran.

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I met up with a girl to fulfill a rape fantasy she had... It turns out she had a pepper spray and police report fantasy too.

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What did they call the man that survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran

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Whats the only type of Doctor most American's can afford? Dr.Pepper

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Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Edit: My 50 year old great aunt finds this joke to be hilarious. She insists on telling this joke to every person that she comes in contact with.

Score: 3

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can ? His wife died.

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Darth Vader was inspecting his security teams weapons locker. He asked the Chief of Security "Do your men carry pepper spray?" When the Chief replied "No, sir" Darth Vader force choked him and said "I find you lack of mace disturbing."

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A merchant had been selling salt and pepper for 30 years... He's a pretty seasoned salesman

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When is a pepper annoying? When it's jalapeño face

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TIL that 9/10 Doctors agree, drinking water is good for children The tenth doctor is Dr. Pepper

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What does a nosey pepper do? He's Jalapeno business

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What's a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business.

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Did you hear about the solider that survived a mustard gas attack and a pepper spray attack? He's now a seasoned veteran.

Score: 20

Nosey Pepper What does a nosey pepper do?

Get jalapeño business.

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I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He's a seasoned veteran.

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What do you get when you have a nosey pepper? It gets jalapeño business.

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Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? He's a seasoned veteran.

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What do you call a pepper without a soul? A Hollow-Peño

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Why do you hate a nosey pepper? Cuz he's jalapeno .business

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When is a pepper nosey? When it's jalapeño business.

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What does a lonely pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.

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My granddad in WW1 survived pepper spray and mustard gas... He's now a seasoned veteran.

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