Poo Jokes

Courtesy of my 8-year-old : Knock knock Who's there

Europe

Europe who?

No, you're a poo!

*Knock knock* (courtesy of a 9 year old) Who's there?

I eat map.

I eat map who?

*Queue a disgusted face on my cousin* **YOU EAT YOUR POO!**

I'm dyslexic, but that doesn't define me. Dyslexics are teople poo.

What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's Poo Tin

My 4 year old nephew's favourite joke. Knock knock!

who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, You're a poo!

Followed by devious laughter.

I eat my poo joke Knock knock...Who's there?
I eat mop...I eat mop who?

Boycott shampoo demand real poo instead

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I did up. I did up who?
AHAHAHA. YOU DID A POO!

What's worse than getting shampoo in your eyes? real poo in your eyes

This guy came up to me in the gym. He said, hey...what's your secret?

I said, I poo with the door open

Knock, knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No, *you're a poo*.

The only thing I can say in my defence is that my daughter is in primary school.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the real poo!

The neighbour’s dog crapped in our garden, so my wife told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence. I don’t see what that solved. We’ve still got dog poo in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.

I was on the train having a poo. When the ticket inspector knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket please."

"There you go," I replied, passing it under the door.

"Thanks for the free ticket." replied the voice, running away.

I was picking up some dog poo in the park today and thought to myself... I really should get a dog…

What do you call a cop standing on dog poo? Officer on doody.

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.

"Sure, but could you use the can of air freshener?" said her mother jokingly.

Really strange, but I managed to fit all the poo into the bottle.

I accidentally swallowed a whole heap of Scrabble tiles last night. My next poo could spell disaster

What was Tigger doing in the toliet? He was looking for poo

I'm really glad they invented shampoo. imagine having to wash your hair with real poo?

Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo.

My son asked me where poo came from My son asked "Where does poo come from?" It was uncomfortable but I gave him an honest answer. Looking up in silence and a little confused he asked "And Tigger?"

A little immature... Knock knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No! You're a poo!

What is it called when a person pretends to use the toilet. A sham poo.

Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement? It was actually sham-poo.

*thunderous applause*

I always hear voices when I go for a poo. Shitzophrenia.

Did you hear?! They’re putting the Poo emoji on a stamp! Finally! Shitpost!

I was at the zoo with my daughter. She said, "Daddy! Why are the monkeys throwing their poo around?"


I said, "I don't know, honey. I guess it's their way of communicating."


She said, "Well, they're certainly eating their words now."

What do women and dog poo have in common? The older they are, the easier they get to pick up.

(compliments of BloodHoundGang's "3.14")

Don’t ever do something for free if you’re good at it That's why I poo on company's time.

What do you call a constipated bear? "Winnie-no-poo"

Why did the name a mix between a golden retriever and a poodle a golden doodle? Because otherwise it would be a poo retriever.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers? Because he kneaded a poo.

(This is my favourite silly joke, sorry if it's a repost)

I washed my hair with poo tonight. I've been using shampoo for years, just think how good it will look with the real thing.

Why did the baker's hands smell? He kneaded a poo

What did the reddish poo say to the brown poo? "I feel flushed."

I've been having my morning poo at 7:15am every single day for the past 10 or so years Pity I always wake up at 7:30!

I was dissapointed with the shampoo I bought. Turned out it was real poo

Someone threw Shampoo at me today. Turns out it was real poo.

Deja Poo Deja Poo

The overwhelming feeling of "I think I have heard this bullshit before."