Hilarious Princess Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Princess Jokes

My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.

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Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet... But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

Edit: Highest rated post! RIP inbox

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My girlfriend told me that she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France

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My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.

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My daughter demanded she be treated like a princess... so I married her off to secure an alliance with the French.

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My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France.

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My daughter told me to treat her like a princess... so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.

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My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

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My girlfriend wanted to be treated like a princess So I put her in a mercedes and drove her into a wall

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I told my boyfriend that he better start treating me like a princess So he flew me to Paris, got me drunk, and drove me into a tunnel pillar at 105 km/h.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seatbelt.

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My girlfriend told me she wanted someone who treated her like a princess So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident.

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She was a princess, He? a prince She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

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What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana? Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

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A man takes his wife out to dinner A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, "I want you to treat me like a princess." The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall.

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My girlfriend said to treat her like a princess So I forced her into a marriage with a man she'd never met so that I could make an alliance with Poland.

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What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common? Princess Diana couldn't stop either.

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My Wife told me to treat her like a princess So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? No seatbelt.

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So Mario is talking to Luigi. "So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hits were The Wall.

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Why couldn't Princess Leia find love? She was looking in Alderaan places.

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How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things.

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So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard!

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Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow

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Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel

*sits there laughing to self*

...so lonely..

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My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I put her into the back of my Mercedes and drove it into a wall.

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I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day and she said 'treat me like a princess!' I'm having her killed in a traffic accident in Paris.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Momentum.

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Princess Diana and Pink Floyd has a lot in common Both their greatest hits was the wall

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Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...

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Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk. Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.

But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.

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Someone told me they wanted to be treated like a princess So I put them in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall.

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How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Who is the funniest Disney princess? Rapunzel

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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their greatest hit was 'the wall'.

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My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess. So I gave her to a gorilla for him to throw barrels at me.

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New Princess Jokes

What's it called when Princess Toadstool takes up a job mending shoes? Peach cobbler.

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What is the most annoying disney princess? Poke-ahontas

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I liked the live-action Aladdin! It had a modern style with cool music, a stylish palace, an updated magic carpet, a new genie, a new lamp, a modern princess, and even a fresh prince! 👈👈😁

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Times must really be as tough as they say. I just saw a 2008 Chevy Cobalt go by with a bumper sticker that said Princess.

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(Dark) Why did princess Diana cross the road? Because she didn’t wear a seatbelt

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They're making a new Beauty and the Beast where the princess is brain damaged and everyone picks her up to do curls. She is a dumb Belle

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The British use the phrase "Long live the queen," & the queen is the longest lived monarch in history. So you'd think they would have realized that they would have realized there might be an issue always saying Princess Di...

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How did we know about Princess Diana's Obsession with her hair? They found Head and shoulders in the glove compartment of her car.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she didn't wear a seatbelt

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You guys hear that Princess Diana had dandruff? Yeah, they found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

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The girl I'm dating said she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I hired some paparazzi to chase her and she died in a car crash.

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My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess... So I got drunk and took her for a drive to get away from all of the paparazzi.

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Why Did The Queen Wear Black Gloves To Princess Diana's Funeral? The white ones were covered in brake fluid.

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Why did the princess cross the road? She forgot to wear her seatbelt

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What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Ford? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Ford.

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Im friends with princess Diana on Xbox, She never plays games though, she's always on the dashboard

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How did they find out Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her Head & Shoulders in the front seat.

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What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John? Only one of them got to be Queen of England...

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What was the real reason Princess Di divorced Prince Charles? She found out that not all rulers have 12 inches.

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TIL that Princess Diana had a bad dandruff problem. Apparently they found her head and shoulders in the glove box.

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I told my daughter I'd only treat her like a princess ...and that is why I married her off to a middle aged man she'd never met in order to secure an alliance with the French.

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What's the similarities between princess Diana and Pink Floyd? Their last big hit was the wall

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My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess So I put her in my car and drove it into a wall

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What do Princess Diana and champagne have in common? They both came from France in a wooden box.

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What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their biggest hit was the wall

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Me: Do you want something to drink? Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana

Friend: Got anything else?

Me: Just Mountain Dew.

Friend: So those are my only two options?

Me: It's Dew or Di.

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What do Pink Floyd, Kurt Cobain and Princess Diana all have in common? ....all of their last hits were the wall

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My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess. So I took her to a wonderful restaurant, put her in my Mercedes and drove it into a wall.

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You can now buy celebrity-voiced sat-navs for your car. I bought the Princess Diana version. It just keeps saying "Put your foot down, I think we can lose them"

Frankie Boyle

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My teen daughter said, "Dad, treat me like a princess, it's my birthday." So I married her off to a rich 32 year old dude to strengthen my alliance with France who then had her beheaded after giving birth to a daughter.

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What do Dale Earnhardt.... What do Dale Earnhardt, Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall

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My girlfriend asked me to treat her like a princess... so I got in a Mercedes and drove her into a wall.

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It really scares me to watch Xena Warrior Princess... I must be a Xenaphobe.

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I carpool with Michael. J. Fox. Whenever he drives, I feel like royalty. By royalty, I mean Princess Diana.

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What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess... Q: What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess with a computer?

A: A computer that never goes down on you.

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What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common? Both come from France in a wooden box.

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What did the free weight say to the Princess trying to exercise in her dress? Dumb Belle

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When a Prince Kisses a Sleeping Princess, it's "Romantic"... ...but when I give a shoulder rub to the lady sleeping in front of me on the bus, I'm "banned from riding the bus"

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Why did Princess Dianna buy a Nespresso machine? Because the effort of the French Press absolutely killed her.

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What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana Have in Common? Their last hits were the wall.

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LPT: If you want to treat a girl like a princess, take her out for dinner or play with her hair (simple things can make anyone's day). Alternatively you could pick her up in a Mercedes and crash into a wall.

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Articles of Impeachment The selection of clothing a cosplayer uses to dress up like Princess Peach.

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What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach? "It'sa not you, IT'SA ME!"

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Where did Mario meet the Princess? Nintinder

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Queen Elizabeth may have died at 102 years old but Princess Diana got to 120 when she died.

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My girlfriend told me that on valentines day she wants to get treated like a princess So I got her assassinated in a French underpass.

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So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her.

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I recently found my Journal from my trip to Europe. Allow me to share an entry. August 30, 1997, 11:49pm - [Paris]

Woah! Princess Diana just waved and smiled at me from her car! What are the odds!

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My friend just watched the first star wars trilogy and told me that his heart skipped a beat by seeing Princess Leia I told him to be careful because that's how she died.

Is it too soon?
Yeah it's too soon

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I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess. She is all locked up in the tower now.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum.

_____

*Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*

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I don't think Princess Elsa would be a very good girlfriend, She seems frigid.

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I did some Star War's fantasy roll playing this weekend Me, Hand Solo and Princess Didn't-Get-Laid-a.

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Why did princess Diana cross the street? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

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How did experts know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her Head & Shoulders in the glove compartment.

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I masturbated to Princess Leia the other day It was a hand solo.

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I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'... So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall.

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What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard.

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Did you hear Princess Diana divorced her husband? She heard a ruler was supposed to have 12 inches.

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What is a Princess with a yeast infection called in France? A royal with cheese

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