Hilarious Research Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Research Jokes

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Edit: I wasn't aware this was posted on /r/jokes recently, I didn't care to research either.. Deal With It!

Score: 1896

9/10 people. Accordion to research, 9/10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Score: 1711

Score: 179

Archaeologists recently discovered a tomb When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.

Score: 109

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

Score: 103

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

Score: 102

Research has shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss. Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Score: 99

Interesting Research Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Score: 88

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."

Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

Score: 81

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today. To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

Score: 77

A research shows that 96.86% of people in the sea are sailors. The rest are πrates

Score: 77

After extensive research I've come to the conclusion that 10 is smaller than 5! I finally understand factorials!

Score: 67

What do we want? More research into a cure for ADHD! When do we want it? Let's play swingball!

Score: 50

Research shows that the people of Saudi Arabia don't like "The Flintstones"..

But the people of Abu Dhabi do.

Score: 47

What is the motto for the Epilepsy Research Society? Sieze the day

Score: 43

We have been misunderstanding antivaxxers this whole time! They really *do* their own research Specifically, they are the control group.

Score: 39

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Score: 31

I know a botanist who does research on nuts. He works in macademia.

Score: 31

Cancer research scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish. The results speak for themselves..

Score: 30

If you steal ideas from only one person, it is called plagiarism. If you steal from many people, it is called research.

Score: 26

After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.

Score: 26

Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings? After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!

Score: 22

Our crack team of experts has done the research They need more crack.

Score: 22

Recent research shows that horses tend to have much better mental health than other farm animals Due to their stable environment

Score: 20

I hate Sharknado, it is SO unrealistic. Rain? In California? Did they even pretend to research for this movie?

Score: 18

Said to a cashier the other day... So I was making a purchase and after ringing up my order, the cashier asks "would you like to make a donation to cancer treatment research?"

I said "no, they're just gonna spend it on drugs"

Score: 15

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘Alright, but we won’t get much done.'

Score: 15

Research Show that 1 in 3 people cheat... Not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend...

Score: 15

A farmer invested $10 million of his own money for a research on 'effects of Marijuana on cattle'. The steaks were high.

Score: 14

I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein. However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.

Score: 14

After years of research, scientists have concluded that dogs cannot use MRI machines. But catscan.

Score: 13

A new thrift store just opened up in my town, and all proceeds go to Parkinson's research... you get a 10% discount if you do the secret hand shake.

Score: 11

I made a donation to mesothelioma research. They're kinda limited on funding and doing asbestos they can.

Score: 5

Scientific research has proven that 90% of highschool students don't pay attention in class Other 10% don't come to school

Score: 4

Research shows that the number one cause of divorce in America is Marriage

Score: 3

Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid. But I highly doubt it.

Score: 3

Sherlock joke (my first post here) Patient: \**dying of cancer*\* No chance for you to be a doctor this time, Mr Homes!

Doctor: Oh, do your research. I'm not a hero, I'm a high functioning homeopath. Merry Christmas! \**cuts off morphine supply\**

Score: 3

PSA: You should all donate money to testicular cancer research. It's a no-ball cause.

(But seriously you should)

Score: 3

An Italian man was having trouble growing his beard. So he did some research and found out he was native American.

So now when asked about his beard he says
"Eh.. It's just apache"

Score: 3

Every time I go to the park it makes me super happy... After doing some research though, I found out it's just a gazebo effect.

Score: 3

New Research Jokes

How do you refer to bunch of authors working on beef research? Brisk et al.

Score: 2

Research Shows Bad Jokes Increase Risk of Getting Sick Because it makes you facepalm.

Score: 0

Why did Coronavirus force Microsoft to close their stores? Research suggests it can live for three days on surfaces.

Score: 0

They told me I before E except after C... but after doing some research, there’s no science in it.

Score: 0

When Matthew McConaughey gives a research paper assignment to his class (he is seriously a professor at U of Texas) what does he tell them to do? All write!-All write!-All write!

Score: 2

A woman with a clipboard stopped me on the street the other day She said, "can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"

I said "all right, but we won't get much done..."

(-Jimmy Carr)

Score: 2

Around 25% of young Muslims are obsessed with skateboarding according to a pew research study. They're becoming radicalized.

Score: 1

New research says Hitler didn't really want to kill the Jews. He just wanted America's support to pit them against the Palestinians.

Score: 2

I can’t seem to find much information about procrastination I guess nobody got round to doing any research

Score: 1

Einstein did tons of research on gravity. It was groundbreaking.

Score: 1

What legitimizes urology research? Pee'r review

Score: 1

After 50 years of research, Einstein had finally created his universal theory about space It was about time he did...

Score: 2

A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear. It was an interesting case study.

Score: 1

A research team asked a group of drug addicts who their favorite superhero was.. Oddly enough, almost all of them said Wonder Woman. The research team doesn't really know why, I guess they're just big fans of the heroine...

Score: 3

Stealing ideas from another is plagiarism Stealing ideas from many others is research

Score: 1

After a thorough research and survey scientists claim that the thicker your thighs, The more snacks you can lay on your lap.

Score: 1

People are worried about foreigners in this country. I've done my own research and there's so many more in other countries.

Score: 2

The Dyslexia Research Trust in UK is located in a town called Reading

Score: 2

Research says people who have the most birthdays Live the most.

Score: 2

I don't think stem cell research is a bad thing... After all, clones are people two.

Score: 2

A lady with a clipboard stopped me on the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done."

(Jimmy Carr)

Score: 1

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments? Idk, accordion to research I guess.

Score: 1