Hilarious Ring Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Ring Jokes

If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

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I watched the video of my wedding backwards. I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

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Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

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I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat... But two Hobbits just showed up and threw a ring into our bedroom.

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So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.

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I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life... Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...

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A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!

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Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

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Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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Sauron is a great name It has a nice ring to it

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My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

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What does a wife and a hand grenade have in common? Remove the ring and your house is gone

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Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.

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What does a hand grenade have in common with a wife? Take off the ring and your house is gone

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Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone.

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I just realized that I have lost my mood ring... Not sure how I feel about this...

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How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it

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So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore... ...I'm not really sure how I feel about it

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Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.

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I played my wedding video backwards today. It really cheered me up to see me take the ring off my wife's finger, walk out of church and go drinking with my friends.

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I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends.

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Wife A wife is like a hand grenade.

Remove the ring, and your house is gone.

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A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house

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My girlfriends birthday is in a week and she said "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring!" So I got her nothing

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A wife is like a hand grenade ... .. remove the ring and half your house is gone

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Hi, how much for this torture device? Sir, that's a wedding ring.

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What does a wife and a handgrenade have in common? If you pull the ring, your house is gone.

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Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring

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Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA. - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring

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I can't believe my neighbor had the audacity to ring my doorbell at 2 in the morning. Lucky for him though I was still up playing my bagpipes.

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I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of mine said, “I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?”

“She did,” I replied, “But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!”

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Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend Fair trade if you ask me

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I lost a good friend and long time drinking buddy a few days ago in a tragic accident he got his finger caught in a wedding ring

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How can you tell if a man hasn't gotten laid in a while? He's wearing a wedding ring.

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I'm not saying it's hot in my house... ...but a hobbit just threw a ring through the front door.

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A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.

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So today, someone stole my Mood Ring..... I honestly don't know how to feel about it.

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I lost my mood ring a couple days ago I really don't know how I feel about it.

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New Ring Jokes

A guy in my class just claimed that a ring-shaped coral reef is also an island. But it's not an island, atoll.

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If any of you are thinking of getting married, please consider this carefully On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

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What did Mike Tyson say after going three rounds in the ring? Epthtien didn't kill himthelf.

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teacher and student joke Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb "to ring?"
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.

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*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* Is your refrigerator running? Please give me upvotes

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The first picture of the black hole shows a bright ring as it vacuums light photons with intense gravity around its mass that is 6.5 billion times more massive than our Sun.. ..but it still doesn’t suck more than your mom.

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You get three rings in marriage Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering

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A coworker asked me why I started wearing a ring "It's a promise ring"

A promise ring?

"Yeah, a promise to myself to never get married"

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Woman: (flashing diamond ring) “Look what happened last weeeeek!” Friend: “OMG really?!??!”

Woman: “That’s riiight,” she continues waving the ring around. “Grandma diiiiied.”

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Lord of the rings must be about marriage Because when you put the ring on, you disappear

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Teacher and Student joke Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!

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Why is dating a Cleveland Browns fan the best? Because she knows better than to expect a ring.

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“Do you remember why Bill got fired as a Salvation Army Santa Claus?” “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

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My laptop's running so hot.... That Frodo just walked in and chucked the one ring on it.

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A rather old one. Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.

"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"

His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."

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How do you know when you need a doorbell repaired? Ring rong.

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There are three rings of marriage. The engagement ring.

The wedding ring.

Then the suffering.

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My girlfriend said the number of kids we have will depend on the number of carats I get her in her wedding ring. I says " I don't know how you're going to have half a kid!"

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My pet turtle just died. He was tilted due to missing both his right legs, and he loved ring shaped pasta. I'm really gonna miss turtellini.

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Whats the best part of dating a Dallas Cheerleader? You know she never expects to get a ring

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Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring." Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."

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A Bachelor is like a new detergent it works fast and leaves no ring.

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My grandpa told me about the 3 rings of marriage today... The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

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What comes after the engagement ring and the wedding ring? The suffer ring.

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Wives and grenades have one thing in common... When you take off the ring, your house is gone.

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There were three rings in OJ Simpson's marriage. First, they had the engagement ring. After that, they had the wedding ring. And finally, there was the murdering.

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The name's Pavlov Ring a bell?

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"With my sonic superpowers I shall call myself.... ...TINNITUS!"

"Tinnitus?"

"Yeah! Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?"

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How did Mr.telephone prospose Miss telephone? He just gave her a ring.

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My friend asked what me what I hated the most on a beautiful girl. Me: The ring on her finger.

My friend: What's next?

Me: The ring on my finger...

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What's the best part about dating a Mets fan? You know she's not looking for a ring.

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Somebody stole my mood ring... I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.

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The police busted a drug ring operating out of a circumcision clonic The police got a tip off

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Didja hear the one about the hobbit who ruined the boxing match? He tried to destroy the ring.

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I’m not Deaf I shouted to the barmaid, “Two pints of lager please.”
She said, “I’m not deaf.”
I said, “Sorry, I noticed your wedding ring and the black eye. I presumed you had a problem listening.”

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Did you know condoms have a serial number at the very bottom of the ring? I guess you never had to roll it down that far.

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What idiot called it an engagement ring... When he could've called it a Kneel Diamond?

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Marriage is an institution of three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering

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Melo is getting divorced from his wife... poor guy. lost the only ring he has!

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The difference between watching a three ring circus, and going to New York to watch a performance by the Rockettes. Well, when you watch a three ring circus, you witness a cunning array of stunts...

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I lost my mood ring... I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this.

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I'm going to buy a field. Then I'm going to go and stand in it. While I'm there, I'm going to ring my boss and tell him I deserve a pay rise because I'm out standing in my field.

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An epileptic cop brakes up a drug ring in an underground night club. It was a search and seizure.

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The first time out with my metal detector I found a beautiful wedding ring!! But the bride was still wearing it, so the police came and now they won't give it back.

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This person I know owns the world's smallest handcuffs! He's wearing his wedding ring.

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A dentist and a manicurist stepped into the ring They fought tooth and nail

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The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath. However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

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No wrestling event is ever sold out they always have a couple extra seats under the ring

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A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.

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My friend had a tragic accident. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.

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Ever heard of the "door knocker"? No? It doesn't ring a bell?

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Lord of the Rings is symbolic of Marriage One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.

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A husband bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?"

"She did," the husband replied, "But where in the world was I going to find a fake Jeep!"

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What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for? best before...

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Irish Nessie Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, thay have their own Nessie.

It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells.

It's a knock-less monster.

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Green Lantern That name has a nice ring to it

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My friend asked me how it felt to be able to say that i was married I said that "It has a nice ring to it"

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Why did Frodo set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.

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What are the 3 rings involved in marriage? 1) The engagement ring

2) The wedding ring

3) The suffering

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