Hilarious Roman Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Roman Jokes

A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?'

'Not that many!'

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I failed my math exam because I couldn’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals IM LIVID

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I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals I M LIVID

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I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500. I am LIVID.

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How do you arrest a Roman woman? Caesar.

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What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? Roman Catholic.

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My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals. I told her I hope she gets a "C".

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I can't remember how to post 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals I am LIVID

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Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with Second Roman: mmm?

Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many

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Never give a Roman a high five. Or he'll give you a HIV.

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A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "five beers, please."

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An Ancient Roman walks into a bar. He sits down and says

"I'll have a martinus please."

"Don't you mean a martini?" The bartender asks

The Ancient Roman replies

"If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

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What do you call a Roman who just went down on his girlfriend? Glad he ate her...
Are you not entertained?

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A roman soldier walks into a bar A roman soldier walks into a bar and asks for a *martinus*.

“You mean *martini*?”, asks the bartender.

The roman soldier answers “If I wanted two, I would have told you!”

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A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

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A Roman walks into a bar... holds up two fingers and says, “five beers, please.”

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Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled? His toga size went from L to XL.

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I asked my Roman friend for a high five Got HIV instead

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What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger? Gladiator

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Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy? It was Julius Seizure.

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Why were all Roman buildings made of stone? They crucified the carpenter.

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A roman walks into a bar, sticks 2 fingers up and says 5 beers please.

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How would you split the Roman Empire in half? With a pair of Caesars.

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I, for one, like Roman numerals. I, for one, like Roman numerals.

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Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial? They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.

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A Roman walks into a bar... ... holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers please!"

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My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them. I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.

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A pirate captain asks his first mate "Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two" "Aye aye! " responds the first mate

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Heard this joke today, and I absolutely love it. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "five beers, please"

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A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. You mean a martini? the bartender asks.

The Roman replies, if I wanted a double, I would have asked for it.

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Dad Joke: What do you call a Roman with a cold? Julius Sneezar

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If you have epilepsy, it's important to avoid reading Roman history books. It could cause a Caesar.

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A Roman walks into a bar... He says to the bartender "I'll have a martinus."

The bartender looks at him funny and asks "You mean martini?"

The Roman says "No. If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

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I, for one, like Roman numerals, Or the number of days it's been since someone has reposted this joke.

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I Can't Remember What 51, 6, & 500 Is In Roman Numerals I'm LIVID

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So this Roman guy... This Roman guy walks into a Tavern, raises two fingers and yells, 'five beers please!'

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What do you call a moving nun? A Roman Catholic

source: LaffyTaffy wrapper

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Why was the Italians cell phone bill so high? He was always Roman.

I'm sorry.

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What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure

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New Roman Jokes

I just stole 50 roman soldiers. I guess you could say I took an L there.

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A Roman walks into a bar and holds 2 fingers up to the barman "Five beers please."

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It seems I cannot remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in roman numerals. IM LIVID

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What do you call a Roman official in tacky sandals? A croc aedile

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Did you hear about the Roman slave’s wife who was devoured by a lion? Honestly, he was gladiator

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What did the roman tattoo artist said to his best friend when he entered the studio? A tattoo, Brutus?

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I, for one, love roman numerals The punchline is the tittle

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I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals. I am LIVID.

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What did the Roman say when a cannibal ate his ex-wife? Glad he ate her.

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What do you call a number that wanders about? A Roman numeral

(stolen shamelessly from my friend)

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When is "us" singular and 'i' plural? When you're Roman.

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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

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What does HIV actually mean? Roman numerals for a high-five, of course.

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"Don't you think it's weird that Italian guy just backpacks through the countryside?" "Nah, he's just a'roman"

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Helvetica and times new roman walk into a bar helvetica and times new roman walk into a bar,"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

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Did you hear about the guy wandering the Italian capital. He's Roman around.

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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers, and says, "I'd like five beers please."

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A Roman walks into the bar and orders a Martinus. "Don't you mean Martini?" asked the bartender. "I only want one," the Roman replies.

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What's an epileptic Roman's favorite food? seizure salad

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Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty? Because it's the hottest planet in our solar system

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What's the best way to get a Roman architect started on building your house? Column

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What do you call a Roman Lion? Italion

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A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers... The barman gives him five beers.

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A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers... and says "Five beers, please."

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What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"

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Times New Roman, Aerial, and Calibri walk into a bar. The barman chases them out, yelling: "GET OUTTA HERE! WE DON'T SERVE YOUR TYPE!"

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A Roman soldier walked into an inn.. "One Martinus please!"

The bartender said, "You mean a martini?"

The soldier responded - "If I wanted two of them, I would've asked for it."

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Sign over the door of a Roman Brothel Veni, vidi, veni.

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A Roman walks into a cafe A Roman walks into a cafe with four of his friends. He holds up two fingers and says, "Five coffees please."

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So the Roman's used to Sodomize their victims on the battlefield, dead included. So does was this the first case of cracking open a cold one with the boys?

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What's the difference between an Italian barber and an angry circus ringmaster? Ones a shaving roman and the others a raving showman.

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Roman Numerals Wife: 75% of people don't know how to write 99 in Roman numerals.

Me: IC

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I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... I'm LIVID

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What caused the fall of the Roman Empire? The Earth's tilt.

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Marine Le Pen, recount the vote! I do not trust Arabic numbers, use Roman numerals.

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Telling time with Roman numerals? Not on my watch.

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A Roman walks into a bar... He holds up his first two fingers and asks for five beers.

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A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please."

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What's the difference between a cancerous growth and a Roman Catholic tradition? One is a mass, and the other is.. actually they are exactly the same.

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Have you heard they are getting rid of Roman numerals? Not on my watch.

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I, for one... I, for one, quite like Roman numerals.

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How do you cut the Roman Empire in half? Use Caesers

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What is the favourite game of ancient roman people? Rock Papers CAAAEEEESSSSAAAAAARRRS.

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A Roman walks into a bar.. ...raises two fingers and says "Five beers please".

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Why were the Roman soldiers so good at making friends? Because of their frequent bridge building exercises.

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I forgot how to write "1, 1000, 51 5 1 500" in Roman numerals. I M LIVID!

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A Roman walks into a bar... Holds up two fingers, and says to the barman 'five beers please'.

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A Roman man walks into a bar He sticks up 2 fingers and the bartender gives him 5 beers

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A Roman walks into a bar. He asks for a Martinus…. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

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What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roman numeral.

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Did you hear about the roman fighter who ate his mother in law? Terrible indigestion but he was gladiator.

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An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, "What is that for?"

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[Favorite joke from Letterman] What goes into thirteen twice? Roman Polanski.

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A lot of people don't like roman numerals. I for one love roman numerals.

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The government recent said they wanted to ban Roman numerals. Not on my watch!

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What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth? a GladHeAteHer

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A Roman receives a text message.... A Roman receives a text message and looks at it confused. "Why does it end with twenty?" he thinks to himself.

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Roman What does the Roman call his abortion clinic?

Fetus Deletus

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A Roman walks into a bar... He says "I'd like a martinus," the bartender replies "don't you mean a martini?", the Roman replies "if I wanted a double I'd have asked for one.'

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Fun fact: Did you know that HIV is Roman for 'high five'? Pass it on - or, rather, don't.

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