Hilarious Rope Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Rope Jokes

President Trump attempts suicide, fails because of broken rope. Fake noose.

Score: 721

You can't hang a man with a wooden leg, You need a rope.

Score: 322

I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that’s a little condescending.

Score: 176

There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he'll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five. Of course i left him hanging.

Score: 156

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Score: 146

If you want to hang yourself and still need a rope... ... take the one without any customer reviews. It should be the best for the job.

Score: 145

A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?"

Score: 135

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The leaf.

The emo is stopped by the rope.

Score: 95

Score: 83

If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps.... I would opt for the latter.

Score: 76

What do you call a tangled rope in space? Astro-knot.

Score: 65

[Dark Humor] A leaf and an emo falls off a tree. Who hits the ground first? A leaf, because rope stops emo.

Score: 59

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year? He was very knotty.

Score: 58

An emo and a leaf were sitting at the top of a tree... they both fall off at the same time? Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf.
The emo got caught by the rope.

Score: 44

A rope walks into a bar And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter.

Score: 35

A rope walks into a bar The bartender says "We don't serve your kind".
So the rope walks out, twists himself up and parts his hair and then walks back in.
The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy who was here a moment ago?".
The rope replies "I'm a frayed knot."

Score: 34

How do you get an emo out of a tree? Untie the rope...

Score: 33

How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope imsosorry:(

Score: 28

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down.

Score: 26

What do you call a Sikh on a tight rope Balan Singh.

Score: 26

How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.

Score: 22

R*pe joke A rope walks into a bar

Bartender: We don't serve your kind here

The rope goes out, twists itself up, spikes his hair and goes in again

Bartender: Aren't you the same guy from minutes before?

Rope: No, I'm a frayed knot

Score: 22

If your life is awful, get a rope and a stool ...and find the next tree. Throw the rope over a branch and attach the stool to the rope.

Now you've got a swing.

Score: 21

What did the mother rope say to her child? “Don’t be knotty.”

Score: 20

My cannibal friend likes to eat tight-rope-walkers... As part of a balanced diet.

Score: 20

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

Score: 19

A rope orders a drink... But the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes here."

The rope goes outside, ties himself up, unravels one end, and goes back inside.

"Hey, aren't you that rope?" Says the bartender.

The rope shakes his head, "I'm frayed knot."

Score: 18

I only had enough money to buy either a ladder or a rope... I chose the latter.

Score: 18

My sister asked me what this rope is for But I left her hanging

Score: 18

Did you hear about the rope that won't pick up it's own slack? Some things just can't be taught.

Score: 17

How do emo people support themselves? With a rope

Score: 9

Dead husband A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?"

Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct."

The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"

"The old fool used an elastic rope!"

Score: 7

Wanna hang together? ill bring the rope

Score: 6

What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots.

Score: 5

What did the shoelace say to the annoying rope? Can you knot?

Score: 5

Built a robot to tie rope together... But it does knot work.

Score: 4

At first I suspected foul play in the whole Aaron Hernandez suicide thing. But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.

Score: 3

My boss said to me, "you're the anchor of this company!" He knows I'm a dead weight at the end of my rope...

Score: 3

Me and you are like an emo kid and a rope... We hung out once and then it all ended.

Score: 3

Once I was a rope salesman A costumer complained that I hadn’t given him enough. I had, but I cut him some slack.

Score: 2

New Rope Jokes

The conjoined twins were joined in one of the most embarrasing ways and known locally, as 'the skipping rope'

Score: 0

Today I saw a dwarf sneaking out of a prison window on a rope of bedsheets and I said to myself... Well, that’s just a little condescending.

Score: 1

I'm at the end of my rope with these Epstien jokes... It's thread after thread of them!

Score: 2

Dad Joke: How do you hang a man with a wooden leg? .
.
.
You can't, you need a rope

Score: 1

Would you rather clime a rope, or the stairs? I prefer the ladder.

Score: 1

Why did je rope want to be set free? Because why knot.

Score: 0

A rope gets in an accident where it was split in half... The rope's friend, worried, asks if he is okay. The rope responds, "I'm a frayed knot"

Score: 1

Never give the sum of all forces and the directions of movement to a rope It just wants a tension.

Score: 2

My friend asked me if I could tie a rope... I awnser him "No, i can knot"

Score: 2

What did the researcher utter when his algorithm for rope tying returned a zero value? It was all for naught.

Score: 2

I've started up a lucrative venture into beginners rope tying courses My customers can't restrain themselves.

Score: 1

There are these two cowboys herding some Bulls, One of them accidentally drops his lasso. The other picks it up and asks "Is this your rope?" To which the other replied, "No, this is America."

Score: 2

I invited this woman back to my place. She says, "Do you have cable?" I said, "I'm sure the rope will be plenty strong enough to hold you..."

-Emo Phillips

Score: 1

In Saudi Arabia it is unlawful to hang a man with a beard. They must use rope instead.

Score: 2

What is worse, balancing on a 100meter high rope or getting a BJ from a man? Its both not that bad, you just shouldnt look down.

Score: 1

Wanna hear my Jump Rope joke? Never mind, I'll just skip it.

Score: 2

What's the difference between a rope and a root? I can pull a rope

Score: 1