Sales Jokes

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy. Alcohol sales have never been higher.

I went to the liquor store and the sales person asked if I needed help I said: "Yeah but I came here instead"

Why did the pirate go out of business? He didn’t know how to raise his sales

Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7 Sales are blowing up!

So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof.

IBM should change their name to ICBM Their sales would skyrocket

Do you like sales? Because in my house, clothes are 100% off.

So they finally made an affordable and functional jetpack The sales are through the roof

What did the world's first hotcake salesman say? "SALES ARE UNPRECEDENTED!"

I run a backpack store in the middle east. Sales are great but I've never had any returning customers.

The UK announced it's removing tax from tampon sales. Though there will undoubtedly be strings attached.

Did you hear the price of balloons is going to increase? I blame it on inflation. But on the positive side, sales are supposed to go up!

Seal walks into a club Sales have been down recently so he doesn't play larger venues anymore.

A man went into a bookstore and complained... “I bought this book from you yesterday, 'Cowards in History' and all the pages fell out!"

The sales assistant said, “That’s because it has no spine.”

Apple have talked about their most recent iPhone recently, The sales team seems to think it was a huge 6s

I don't get why record stores fail. They have record sales every year

What does a walrus and a Tupperware sales lady have in common? They are both looking for a tight seal.

"The Best Way To Stop A Bad Guy With A Gun Is With A Good Guy With A Gun" Is an excellent sales pitch for doubling your sales.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague. I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

Man to Lizard: "So I hear you are in flooring sales" Lizard: I am more in promotion

Man: What do you do?

Lizard: I rep-tile.

So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

Went to the vitamin shoppe for some energy supplements..... And the sales rep is telling me about b vitamins, he goes :
"You got your b-12 your b-6, have you taken these vitamins previously "?
I asked:
"You mean like b-4"?

Why do white men shop at black yard sales? To get all their stuff back.

A young sales clerk removed an old mans sunglasses and insisted he tries on a new pair. "I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.

"Why not?" asked the clerk.

"Because I'm blind".

My father likes to wear women's clothes when he goes out on his sales calls. He does a lot of transactions.

Don’t get into the business of coffin sales. It’s the last thing anyone needs.

I tried to buy a PS4 in France I asked the sales guy “Do you have a PS4” but that idiot kept saying “Wii”

IPhone X sales have dropped in North-Korea.. Apparently one supreme face unlocks them all......

Did you hear cheese and meat sales have gone up in India? Apparently there is a New Delhi.

Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Sales Rep: For what? 

Customer: No, two. 

Sales Rep: Two what? 

Customer: Yes. 

Sales Rep: No.

The winter sales have started everywhere But you know, clothes are 100% off at my place.

So a guys goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Jeep. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

[Religion] A friend of mine opened a store in Afghanistan which sells exploding prayer mats. From what he's told me of his sales, prophets are going through the roof :)

They didn't take too well to my latest AR videogame sales pitch... Frogger Live, Ultimate Edition

Garage sales are garbage sales. But the B is silent.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off... I didn't know back to school sales had already started!

Why has Hot Topic's sales revenue gone down? Because the marketing department cuts itself.

I went to test drive a BMW The sales person said I didn't tailgate enough to own one

Teenagers in Houston can look forward to the used car sales in a few months. The market is going to be flooded.

Why don't cabbys make good sales people? They are habituated to driving the customers away.