Sales Jokes

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Funniest Sales Jokes

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy. Alcohol sales have never been higher.

Score: 436

I went to the liquor store and the sales person asked if I needed help I said: "Yeah but I came here instead"

Score: 87
Funny Sales Jokes
Score: 66

Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7 Sales are blowing up!

Score: 41

So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof.

Score: 37

IBM should change their name to ICBM Their sales would skyrocket

Score: 34

Do you like sales? Because in my house, clothes are 100% off.

Score: 31

So they finally made an affordable and functional jetpack The sales are through the roof

Score: 26

What did the world's first hotcake salesman say? "SALES ARE UNPRECEDENTED!"

Score: 22

I run a backpack store in the middle east. Sales are great but I've never had any returning customers.

Score: 22

The UK announced it's removing tax from tampon sales. Though there will undoubtedly be strings attached.

Score: 20

Did you hear the price of balloons is going to increase? I blame it on inflation. But on the positive side, sales are supposed to go up!

Score: 16

Seal walks into a club Sales have been down recently so he doesn't play larger venues anymore.

Score: 15

A man went into a bookstore and complained... “I bought this book from you yesterday, 'Cowards in History' and all the pages fell out!"

The sales assistant said, “That’s because it has no spine.”

Score: 15

Apple have talked about their most recent iPhone recently, The sales team seems to think it was a huge 6s

Score: 12

I don't get why record stores fail. They have record sales every year

Score: 12

What does a walrus and a Tupperware sales lady have in common? They are both looking for a tight seal.

Score: 12

"The Best Way To Stop A Bad Guy With A Gun Is With A Good Guy With A Gun" Is an excellent sales pitch for doubling your sales.

Score: 11

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague. I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

Score: 10

Man to Lizard: "So I hear you are in flooring sales" Lizard: I am more in promotion

Man: What do you do?

Lizard: I rep-tile.

Score: 9

So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

Score: 9

Went to the vitamin shoppe for some energy supplements..... And the sales rep is telling me about b vitamins, he goes :
"You got your b-12 your b-6, have you taken these vitamins previously "?
I asked:
"You mean like b-4"?

Score: 9

Why do white men shop at black yard sales? To get all their stuff back.

Score: 8

A young sales clerk removed an old mans sunglasses and insisted he tries on a new pair. "I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.

"Why not?" asked the clerk.

"Because I'm blind".

Score: 8

My father likes to wear women's clothes when he goes out on his sales calls. He does a lot of transactions.

Score: 7

Don’t get into the business of coffin sales. It’s the last thing anyone needs.

Score: 7

I tried to buy a PS4 in France I asked the sales guy “Do you have a PS4” but that idiot kept saying “Wii”

Score: 7

IPhone X sales have dropped in North-Korea.. Apparently one supreme face unlocks them all......

Score: 6

Did you hear cheese and meat sales have gone up in India? Apparently there is a New Delhi.

Score: 6

Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Sales Rep: For what? 

Customer: No, two. 

Sales Rep: Two what? 

Customer: Yes. 

Sales Rep: No.

Score: 6

The winter sales have started everywhere But you know, clothes are 100% off at my place.

Score: 4

So a guys goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Jeep. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

Score: 3

[Religion] A friend of mine opened a store in Afghanistan which sells exploding prayer mats. From what he's told me of his sales, prophets are going through the roof :)

Score: 3

They didn't take too well to my latest AR videogame sales pitch... Frogger Live, Ultimate Edition

Score: 3

Garage sales are garbage sales. But the B is silent.

Score: 3

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off... I didn't know back to school sales had already started!

Score: 2

Why has Hot Topic's sales revenue gone down? Because the marketing department cuts itself.

Score: 2

I went to test drive a BMW The sales person said I didn't tailgate enough to own one

Score: 2

Teenagers in Houston can look forward to the used car sales in a few months. The market is going to be flooded.

Score: 2

Why don't cabbys make good sales people? They are habituated to driving the customers away.

Score: 2

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New Sales Jokes

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PROSTITUTE AN A DRUG DEALER ??? A PROSTITUTE WASHES HER CRACK AND SALES IT AGAIN.

Score: 1

Bernie told me to be the change I want to see on this country So I’m adding taxes to all my weed sales

Score: 0

A fish recently published a very good book The sales were through the reef.

Score: 1

You might have heard that Mary K. gives their top sales people pink cars. But have you ever heard of the Mary KKK car? It's still pink but it has a white hood and runs over black people.

Score: 1

Putin planned a holiday trip to the U.S. for the President's Day weekend sales... but he cancelled at the last minute when he remembered he'd already bought one.

Score: 1

I once opened a boat business in my attic The sales went through the roof

Score: 1

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