Hilarious Shoe Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Shoe Jokes

Here, have a joke in spanish “sabe inglés?"

"si"

"como se dice 'un zapato' en inglés?"

"a shoe"

"salud"

"gracias”

Score: 8962

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A man using Apple maps walks into a bar Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.

Score: 833

What do you call a shoe that is made from bananas? A slipper

Score: 561

The blacksmith hires an apprentice He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith

Score: 386

What's made of leather, is about a foot long and sounds like a sneeze? A Shoe.

Score: 235

If shoe size really is directly related to the size of a man's package... Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.

Score: 185

Your mommas so poor I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

Score: 116

I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe... I don’t care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe...

Score: 81

What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe

Score: 61

How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet.

Score: 58

People are so sensitive today. You can't even say black shoe. You have to say, "Tyrone, please get off my lawn"

Score: 54

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland? Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

Score: 46

How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size? In square feet.

Score: 46

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman? "Do you sell flip-flips?"

Score: 42

Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore? The only thing they left were the work boots.

Score: 41

What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper.

(Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

Score: 40

Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost

Score: 40

another bar joke a duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe. the bartender says, "so you lost a shoe?" and the duck says, "no, i found one"

Score: 36

Yesterday, there was a fire in a shoe factory. Hundreds of soles were lost.

Score: 35

Why do you always put your left shoe on last? Because when you put one shoe on, the other one is left.

Score: 34

A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat.

Score: 33

Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night... Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots...

Score: 32

A man takes his shoe off in church... Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it*

Man 2: "What the problem?"

Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "

Score: 32

Did you hear about the shoe factory that exploded? Many soles were lost...

Score: 32

Why did Achilles go shoe shopping? Because heels are his only weakness

Score: 31

What's a kidnappers favorite shoe? White Vans

Score: 30

A young farmer is being taught by an old hand how to take care of the animals. Today he's showing him how to shoe a horse Halfway through the old man asks:

"So, have you ever shoed a horse before"

And the young farmer says:

"No, but I once told a cow to f@&$ off!"

Score: 30

I bought some drugs from the old lady who lives in a shoe. They turned out to be laced.

Score: 29

What happened when the shoe factory burned down? 500 soles were lost.

Score: 28

I once burnt down a shoe factory I feel awful when I think of the soles lost

Score: 13

What did one foot say to the other? I love shoe.

Score: 11

I would hate to have to wear dutch clogs, wooden shoe?

Score: 10

A man with two left feet goes into a shoe store... and asks: do you have flip-flips?

Score: 10

Firefighters recovered just the bottom of one shoe after the shoe factory burned down It was the sole survivor.

Score: 9

A french fry covered in ketchup fell onto someone’s shoe Without missing a beat, he picked it up and ate it.

A girl saw it and was grossed out. She asked, “Why’d you eat that fry? It was on your shoe!”

He shrugged and said, “Shoe fry don’t bother me.”

Score: 8

A man with one shoe walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "hey, what you do? Lose a shoe?"

The man looks at him and says "nope, found one."

Score: 8

What are a plumbers least favorite kind of shoe? Clogs.

Score: 6

There's a new form of birth control that you put in your shoe... It makes you limp.

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Why did the poorly made shoe go to confession? Because it had a bad sole

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New Shoe Jokes

What’s a Chad’s favorite vegetable? “A Sperry gus” (asparagus - shoe brand)

Haha! Okay cya!

Score: 1

What does a shoe do when it's bored? Lace in bed and sleeps

Score: 0

Sometimes I get tired of people calling me "loose" and "easy." But I guess if the shoe fits....

Score: 3

My ex didn't like me pointing how loose she was after being with so many guys. But if the shoe fits...

Score: 1

What does a person buy with two left feet in the shoe store? Flip-Flips

Score: 4

Yesterday I went shoe shopping and the shopkeeper randomly kept telling me how old the shoes were Those were a lot of footages !

Score: 1

How do you shame a shoe ? By telling it has no sole

Score: 4

What did the podiatrist with allergies recommend to the man with stinky feet? A shoe! A shoe!

Score: 2

What did the old woman who lived in the shoe do when her kids moved out? She moved into a flat.

Score: 5

What happens if you drip a green shoe in the red Sea? It gets wet.

Score: 3

Nike names the first Kaepernick shoe... The “Kneel Armstrong” - inscription on the sole (to be viewed while kneeling of course), “that’s one small kneel for man, one giant kneel for mankind”.

Score: 2

Last night I saw a demon eating the bottom of my shoe. When I asked him why he looked at me saying, "I am eating your sole"

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What do you call a shoe shop at the bottom of the sea? Davy Jones's foot locker.

Score: 2

Babe is it in? "Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

Score: 1

There was a huge fire at a shoe factory... Reports say over 2000 soles were lost.

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Why did the sneakerhead go to the hospital? His shoe was laced :)

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What did the footwear salesmen do to get the deer away from his house? He shoe'd them away.

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Went to a shoestore asking for a walking shoe in my size... The salesman says, "Here's your size, nine. Annnd... during our sale they're reduced!"

I said, "Really? you mean they used to be larger? Now they fit perfectly!"

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"sole"-destroying shoe "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."

Score: 4

Lost my watch at a party once But found it an hour later under some guy's shoe who was sexually harassing a girl. So of course I punched him in the face, cause nobody does that on my watch

Score: 2

I would like to go to Holland one day Wooden shoe?

Score: 3

I tried to flush a wooden shoe down my toilet. It got clogged.

Score: 3

What did the right shoe on the left foot say to the left shoe on the right foot? "I think we started off on the wrong foot, mate"

Score: 2

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I don't think he was a drug dealer, I think he was a shoe salesman, I'm not good at jokes.

Score: 2

What do you get when you have fish and rice in a shoe? Shoeshi

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What do you call a shoe on drugs? A high heel!

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What do you call Bruce Wayne's shoe shop Bootman

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John: Is there a hole is your shoe? No!!

Dumb Joe: Then, How Did you get your foot into it?

Score: 2

Breaking News! Ursula the Sea Witch has taken over and destroyed the local shoe factory. There were no survivors. Those poor unfortunate soles.

Score: 4

Why do the Mexican homies on the States always have one shoe lace untied? Because in the sole of their shoes it says Taiwan

Score: 4

My toilet got completely clogged... Wooden shoe know it!

Score: 1

Did you hear about the tragic fire at the shoe factory? 200 soles were lost.

Score: 3

A guy is with his girlfriend Him: is it in yet?

Her: yeah..

Him: does it hurt?

Her: mhm

Him: okay, let's find you a different shoe size

Score: 1

After a lengthy debate, congress finally passed a law banning pedophiles from children's shoe stores. It was No Minor Feet.

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What do you call a Canadian shoe? A boot.

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A truly historic day. Thousands of women at a mall.. and no shoe sale.

Score: 2

I came up with a shoe company that specializes in selling oversize shoes Which is no small feat

Score: 4

A businessman walks into a shoe store. The seller sells handmade shoes from around the world.

"I would like a pair of American loafers," the businessman says.

One Chinese sneaker says to its mate, "That's lacist."

Score: 2

Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Because you can't fit that much sh*t in a shoe

Score: 2

Why did the new pc owner leave a shoe in his harddrive He was told he needed a boot drive

Score: 2

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit? He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Score: 3

What's an auditor's favorite brand of shoe? New Balance

Score: 3

My favorite Joke about the Soviet Union A old babushka is walking down the street and sees a little boy with only one shoe. She comes to him and asks, "Did you lose a shoe, poor boy?"
He replies, "No... I FOUND a shoe!"

Score: 4

Did you hear about Michael Vicks new shoe contract? Hush Puppies.

Score: 4