Spiderman Jokes

What is the one thing Spiderman can't eat? Uncle Bens rice.

What do Spiderman and I have in common? We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.

What did Spiderman say when he worked at MacDonalds? ”With minimum wage comes minimum responsibility.”

What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime? Web Development.

Do you know why Spiderman always has a witty comeback? Because with great power comes great response ability.

What do you call spiderman after he lost his powers, but still jumps from building to building? Peter Parkour

(-my brother)

Why can’t Iron man wear Spiderman’s suit? He’s dead

Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.

The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.

Why are Spiderman stickers the stickiest? They don't peel so good.

What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour.

What was that Spiderman quote again? With great reflexes, comes great response ability.

What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages? Peter Parkinsons

Guess who missed Spiderman Homecoming? Uncle Ben.

Why doesn't Spiderman like rice? It reminds him of Uncle Ben.

someone tried to tell stan lee this joke during his panel at comic con this week end what do you call spiderman when he quits the daily bugal and starts working as a valet?

peter PARKER.

Why did Spiderman open a retirement account? He wanted to turn his Spidey cents into Spidey dollars.

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool" Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

What is Spiderman's perfect job? A web designer.

^^^^^sorry!

What does Spiderman like to get high on? Mary Jane

I've nicknamed my grandad Spiderman. He doesn't have any superpowers, he just can't climb out of the bath.

The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body

Hey girl you must be like spiderman cause You don't look too good...

Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin? Because he’s a bad parallel Parker

I was quite flexible when I was younger The kids used to call me Spiderman because my uncle was murdered.

Nothing like selling an old man your selfies in skin tight outfits, covering strangers with your sticky white goo, and taking compromising photos when they’re vulnerable. I loved the old Spiderman movies.

What is Spiderman's favorite song? Dust in the Wind. He can really relate.

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer? Because they heard he's a web developer

I call my Grandpa, Spiderman. Not because he has superpowers, he just struggles to get out the bath.

What do you get when you cross Iron Man with Spiderman? Pony Park

Why did Spiderman go to the hospital? He wasn't feeling too good.

Whoever ended up with aunt may from Spiderman far from home. Must have been Happy.

What's spiderman's favorite class? Web development.

What did Spiderman say at the poetry jam? I don’t feel so good.

Spiderman was sucking off a cucumber Guess you could say he was green goblin

Why does Spiderman never get caught cheating on his wife? He's an expert at spinning a web of lies.

How does Spiderman work out? Peter Parkour

Why did Spiderman's wife divorce him? He got caught in a web of lies.

What do you call it when Spiderman defeats Iron Man? Tony Stuck.