Hilarious Stroke Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Stroke Jokes

If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50% Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

Score: 1122

Two nuns Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.

Score: 721

I got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Score: 517

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.

Score: 311

3 Old Women and a Flasher Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.

Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn't
reach.

Score: 303

Score: 216

I got a hand job from Albert Einstein the other day... It was a stroke of genius

Score: 216

A man in a trench coat runs up to three old ladies sitting on a park bench and exposes himself. One of the old ladies had a stroke, but the other two couldn't reach.

Score: 193

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench A flasher runs up and opens his coat.

The first woman immediately had a stroke.

The second had one only a moment later.

The third didn't because she couldn't reach.

Score: 119

Three old ladies Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.

The first old lady has a stroke.

The second old lady has a stroke.

The third old lady can't reach that far.

Score: 117

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a naked guy walks past The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third nuns arm is just too short to reach

Score: 114

Did you hear about the man who flashed three old ladies sitting on a bench in the park? First old lady had a stroke. Second old lady had a stroke. Third old lady's arm was too short to reach.

Score: 109

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench... ... when a man came up and flashed them. Two of the ladies immediately had a stroke, but the other couldn't quite reach.

Score: 107

I got kicked out of the swimming pool today. Apparently the breast stroke isn’t what I thought it was.

Score: 97

There are some things that you just cannot say with a straight face. "I am having a stroke" is one that comes to mind.

Score: 96

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench. All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.

One old lady had a stroke, the other couldn’t reach.

Score: 89

Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases One kid wrote:

1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /

The teacher asked what's '/' ?

Student replied it's a stroke.

Score: 82

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench... ... when a man in a trench coat exposes himself directly in front of them!

The first lady has a stroke.

The second lady has a stroke.

The third lady's arms are too short.

Score: 80

What do you call Einstein getting a hand job? A stroke of genius.

Score: 78

Last night I witnessed my dad having a stroke I really wish he would lock the door when he does that.

Score: 77

At least my massive stroke wasn’t all bad news. My poker playing has improved by about 50%.

Score: 69

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench... Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a stroke! The other tried but she couldn't reach.

Score: 63

What was it called when Einstein masturbated? Stroke of genius.

Score: 59

Three Nuns sitting on a park bench When a man runs up and flashes them.

Two of them have a stroke... The other one can't reach.

Score: 58

What do you call a handjob from a rocket scientist? A stroke of genius.

Score: 56

So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.

Score: 50

What do you call Albert Einstein giving a handjob? A stroke of genius.

Score: 50

I watched a documentary about stroke survivors last night. It was a bit one sided.

Score: 50

Three old ladies Three old ladies were sitting on a bench seat when a Flasher ran up & Flashed them.

The first old lady had a stroke..

The second old lady had a stroke too...

The third old lady couldn't reach.....

Score: 49

Three little old ladies Three little old ladies were enjoying an evening on the town, when suddenly they were accosted by a flasher. The first little old lady had a stroke! Then the second one had a stroke! But the third one refused to touch it.

Score: 47

Excuse me while I typeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Sorry, I just had a key-stroke.

Score: 46

How do most elderly golfers die? They have a bad stroke

Score: 38

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first old lady had a stroke,

but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

Score: 38

As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face: I'm having a stroke.

Score: 37

Someone gave a handjob to Albert Einstein... What a stroke of genius!

Score: 35

Roses are 6, yellow is a number I’m having a stroke, call a cucumber

Score: 34

3 ladies on a park bench Three old women are sitting on a park bench one afternoon when a man in a trenchcoat walks up and exposes himself to them. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman's arms weren't long enough.

Score: 32

Einstein masturbates A stroke of genius.

Score: 32

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher flashes them the first nun has a stroke,
the second nun has a stroke,
the third nun couldn't reach

Score: 32

3 nuns are sitting on a bench. A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn't reach.

Score: 29

New Stroke Jokes

Thete was one a scientist who found that he could raise his IQ by masterbating It was a stroke of genius

Score: 3

Bought a pair of working socks yesterday. I put them in the garden when I got home, they have not done a stroke of work, that is £5.99 i wont see again.

Score: 2

What’s the difference between my grandpa and a smart person The smart guy has a stroke of genius and my grandpa has a stroke

Score: 3

What do you call it when a leprechaun gets a free handjob? A stroke of good luck

Score: 10

I was admitted to the ER with suspicion of having a stroke But the doctor told me not to worry, it was all just in my head.

Score: 1

3 old women were walking in the park... When a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first woman had a stroke,
the second women had a stroke,
but the third woman's arm was too short to reach.

Score: 7

I got in trouble at the swimming pool... apparently you need consent to do the breast-stroke

Score: 2

A graphic designer has a heart attack I guess you could call it...

a stroke.

Score: 8

My father had a stroke. I told him, "You're all right.." "And no left."

Score: 3

At least Hugh Hefner died doing what he loved. Having a stroke.

Score: 3

Three nuns are sitting at a bench and a man flashes them. The first one has a stroke.
The second one has a stroke.
The third one reaches out.

Score: 1

My grandma recently claimed she once gave a handjob to Albert Einstein.. What a stroke of genius.

Score: 22

My grandmother had a stroke last night. "Call me an ambulance!" she screamed.

"You're an ambulance, Grandma" I said, and then I left. It felt good to help.

Score: 5

What do you call the sun when it masturbates? A heat stroke

Score: 6

Three nuns sitting on a park bench. Naked man runs by. Two had a stroke.

The other couldn't reach.

Score: 9

A man walks into a park and flashes three old ladies. Two of them have a stroke. The third one didn't touch it.

Score: 5

What did the pervert say when he was kicked out of the public pool? "I was only practicing my breast stroke"

Score: 22

How can you tell the difference between a golfer and somebody suicidal? One of them is happy to get a stroke

Score: 22

There are some things that you just can't say with a straight face Like: "I'm having a stroke"

Score: 2

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench... When a man in a trenchcoat comes up and flashes them.

One of the nuns has a stroke. The other two couldn't reach.

Score: 6

What do you call Einstein pleasuring himself? A stroke of genius.

Score: 3

Two Nuns sitting on a park bench A flasher comes by and displays his goods .. one Nun had a stroke and the other one couldn't reach.

Score: 4

I got banned from the hospital this morning Apparently "Stroke Patients Here:" Is not what your supposed to do!

Score: 6

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench-coat walks in front of them, stops, and flashes them. The first old lady immediately has a stroke. The second old lady also has a stroke. But the third couldn't reach.

Score: 19

Why does it smell so bad when a mime has a stroke? Because it's Silent But Deadly

Score: 2

Two old ladies were walking down the street... When a man ran up and flashed them. One of them had a stroke.

The other couldn't reach.

Score: 5

I got home the other day and my dad was on the floor having a stroke. I told him that's disgusting and to do that in private from now on.

Score: 4

There once was a man from Bel-Air Who screwed his wife on the stair.
The bannister broke,
So he quickened his stroke,
And finished her off in the air.

Score: 4

How are egos and penises similar? No one likes it when you stroke either in public

Score: 1

Two nuns are on a park bench.... .....A man runs up and flashes them, one had a stroke the other couldn't reach

Score: 1

Three nuns were sitting on a park bench when a flasher walks by The first nun, well, she had a stroke. The second nun, why, she also had a stroke. The third nun didn't touch it.

Score: 4

I had to call 9-1-1 while golfing today My buddy had a stroke

Score: 2

I recently received a certificate for the breast stroke. Although the Judge called it a restraining order.

Score: 25

TIL that the term "A stroke of luck" has more than one meaning- -when my fortune teller gave me a handjob.

Score: 15

Three nuns were sitting in the park.. when, all of a sudden, a man jumped out of the bushes, opened his trenchcoat and flashed them. Two of the nuns had a stroke, but the third one couldn't quite reach.

Score: 10

A man streaked passed two old women in the park... the first one had a stroke; the other missed

Score: 4

What do you get when einstein jacks off???? a stroke of genius!!!!!

(its terrible, i know)

Score: 15

Two old ladies are sitting on a prk bench when a streaker ran past. One had a stroke. The other couldn't reach.

Score: 1

A man flashed three old women in the park. The first two women each had a stroke! The third woman tried, but she couldn't reach because her arms were too short.

Score: 3

So I just got banned from swimming at my local pool... Apparently Breast Stroke isn't exactly what I thought it was

Score: 18