Study Jokes

Contents

Funniest Study Jokes

A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.

Score: 2729

They found a cat on mars... A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

Score: 819

A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.

Score: 467
Funny Study Jokes
Score: 313

What's the singular of "Women's Studies?" Study abroad.

Score: 267

You know what would be a hilarious prank? Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

Score: 229

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion... ...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

Score: 229

Invisible... A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."

Score: 218

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. ​

Score: 199

What do you call the formal study of pasta? Linguinistics.

I'll show myself out.

Score: 195

A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid... ...just can't stop.

Score: 148

Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife.

Score: 138

Study shows women are turning into good drivers So if you’re a good driver watch out

Score: 128

Fun prank Make them study for 18 years then don't give them jobs

Score: 124

Study something you like and you will never have to work a single day Because you won't find work

Score: 113

What do you call the field of study for dad jokes? *Sigh*ence

Score: 94

According to a new study.. ...6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

Score: 84

A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts. The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.

Score: 83

There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking… The result was staggering…

Score: 77

A recent study revealed that diarrhea is genetic... .....It runs in the genes.

Score: 76

A new study shows that fertility is hereditary If your parents didn't have any children, chances are you won't either.

Score: 75

A mother is helping her son study for a geography quiz. She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin" says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin"

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin"

"Good job Adolf, you'll do great on your quiz tomorrow."

Score: 65

New scientific study claims that fertility is Heriditary. If your parents didn't have any children, there's a 100% chance you won't either.

Score: 62

What do you call the study of feminism? Trigonometry.

Score: 58

My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!

Score: 56

A new study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I dont remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Score: 55

Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans? Because he loves to study black holes.

Score: 53

A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost) A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small penises.

The other 50% are women.

Score: 46

Study shows that people eat more bananas than monkeys I don't even remember the last time I ate a monkey!

Score: 46

After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study. It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title “TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE”.
When we opened it, all it contained was gran’s phone number.

Score: 46

Why don't birds study for tests? They like to wing it

Score: 21

A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment. Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.

Score: 20

New genetics study shows that chronic diarrhea may be hereditary It runs in your jeans.

Score: 17

A new study has proven... A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Score: 17

A new study has shown LSD causes new users to lose weight. Obviously, You can eat while there's a dragon gaurding your fridge.

Score: 11

Cats don’t cause mental illness, new study finds They’re just a symptom of it

Score: 10

Extra weight A recent study has found that women who carry a bit of extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Score: 9

I like girls who don't study. Because they want the D.

Score: 8

A new study shows 25% of anti-vaxers are currently on medication for mental illness which is quite scary. Because that means 75% are running around untreated.

Score: 8

According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or cooking. Because if there’s one thing women love, it’s a man who can lie.

Score: 8

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New Study Jokes

A recent study on lesbians Concluded that they are allergic to nuts.

Score: 2

What did the pimp go to college to study? ​

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Whoreticulture

Score: 3

A recent study shows that 8 out of 9 people vaccinate their kids. That's one asinine statistic.

Score: 4

A new study proves crossfit burns more calories than any other exercise. They burn 400 calories a day just by bringing it up in every single conversation for 10 minutes.

Score: 3

What do astrologist and proctologist have in common? They both study Uranus.

Score: 2

TIL in a recent Harvard study done in 2019 they have figured out that frequent diarrhea is actually hereditary. It runs in your jeans.

Score: 3

Recent study shows insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids

Score: 4

Recent study shows that fertility is heriditary. If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either.

Score: 4

Really was going to study medicine to become a doctor. I just didn’t have the patients.

Score: 5

New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol abuse To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!

Edit: I'll do it later

Score: 5

Why did the chef study accounting? He wanted to cook books.

Score: 2

I would have really liked to study plants in college... but my university hadn’t botany.

Score: 3

I thought I'd study for my trig test best while out in the sun. But I'm still not feeling tan.

Score: 5

I deal with my anxiety disorder the same way I study for tests. I don't

Score: 8

A recent study found that cats are highly entertained by theoretical physics! *Especially* string theory.

Score: 3

Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college? A hippo-campus

Score: 3

I didn't study for the Canadian History test and still got a hundred It was easy, all the answers were A

Score: 6

I study bison as a hobby... I guess you could say I'm a buffalo buff

Score: 2

A recent study shows that out of 2,385,529,627 people. 85% were too lazy too read that number.

Score: 5

I made a joke a few years ago, I want to know if it's funny... Here it is :-
The label of a medicine bottle read, "Store in a cool and DARK place."
After thinking for a while, I placed it on my study table.

Score: 3

I study computing and get no attention in my household. So I just disable my WiFi and all my family come running to me.

This is a funny but is actually the truth in my household, believe it or not :)

Score: 2

It's not fair to put Floyd in an Octagon with Connor. Floyd couldn't study a book, nvm mixed martial arts.

Score: 1

Student runs into Einstein's office after years of study and shouts... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, sighs and says, "It's about time"

Score: 4

Actually, violent video games don’t create violent children, study says Thanks to Doctor Xavier B. Juan for the results

Score: 3

Why did the baker study hard in school? So he could make the honor roll!

Score: 1

So I was part of a double blind clinical study... So I was a part of a double blind clinical study of the effects of sugar pills on patients. Little did I know, I was part of the placebo group and was given Xanax.

Score: 3

A new study concluded that blind people cannot eat oranges. They can't process vitamin C.

Score: 1

I'd love to discuss your mother, but I don't study clocks You see, I'm not a horologist.

Score: 2

Acording to an study.... 80% off students is good in mathes, at least I be from the rest 30% who is good at grammer.

Score: 3

Why are gynecology students the most well-travelled? They have to study a broad.

Score: 7

A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism. Turns out autism is hereditary.

Score: 7

A recent study has shown patient mortality rates increase with the age of the doctor Next week I have a surgical consultation with a particularly clever-looking newborn.

Score: 7

I sacrificed everything to study archeology. Now my life is in ruins.

Score: 8

According to a recent study, 9 out of 7 people Don't understand how statistics work.

Score: 3

What did the asian parents say to their son the before a test? Study Ying

I don't know if this joke is original or not.

Score: 5

A recent study shows that church attendance rates are down I say give it three days and they'll rise again.

Score: 2

I waited until the last minute to study for my drivers exam and ended up taking a crash course.

Score: 6

What do you call the study of ant culture? ANT-thropology

Score: 1

Study shows no long-term cognitive benefit to breastfeeding. Well clearly they didn't study enough.

Score: 2

Study shows that 1 out of 3 republicans are equally dumb as the remaining 2

Score: 2

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table? To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂

Score: 4

A recent study has found that women who carry extra weight live longer... Than the men who mention it.

Score: 5

New study confirms white males are the most oppressed people in America sike.

Score: 2

A psychiatrists secretary walked into his study... And said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded...

"Tell him I can't see him."

Score: 3

I wanted to study Computer Science but then I stopped... Turns out its just a sudo science.

Score: 6

My son didn't want to study So I teached him a lesson

Score: 1

A recent study shows left-handed people are most likely to lose an argument They're never right!

Score: 3

TIL A new study shows that women drivers often turn into good drivers So if you're a good driver, look out for women drivers.

Score: 4

Recent study shows 3% of scientists are Republicans Scientists are still baffled at how high this number is.

Score: 2

A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people skip his name

Score: 5

A recent study shows that 51.9% of the UK are under educated. It was called the EU referendum.

Score: 3

Deuteronomy Believe it or not - it isn't the field of study of deuterium.

Score: 1

New study shows Asians are more likely to get cataracts... and wrincolns, and Hondas

Score: 4

Recent study shows 9 out of 10 men prefer looks rather than personality in women 1 out of 10 men prefer the other 9.

Score: 1

They released a new study on marriage It's the number one cause of divorce

Score: 3

The hardest tests are the ones you don't study for because you have AIDS

Score: 1

What do you call the study of food prices? EcoNOM-NOM-NOMics.

Score: 1

According to a new study being obese can cut your risk of dementia Or in other words fat people are less likely to forget where the chocolate is kept

Score: 1

A cat entered a barn A cat entered a barn:

Meooow!

All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:

Woof, woof!

All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.

Score: 1

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine? The hippocampus.

Score: 1

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