Tech Jokes

Where is a tech support's bathroom located? At their I Pee address!

Machetes are extremely tech savvy They can hack anything.

A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom. Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.

I named my first dog "What". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

Today a cable repair tech on my street asked me what time it was. I told him between 8 am and 1 pm. Insert rimshot

I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian All I said was my drivers keep crashing

Tech Support USER: I can't get on the Internet.

SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?

USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?

USER: Five dots.

Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!

Indians Robbing a Bank An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him “Where’s the money? And why do you have so many computers?” The bank robber replies “They thougth I was tech support.”

That's the difference between tech support and a mass shooter? One is a troubleshooter, while the other is a troubled shooter.

How many tech support reps does it take to change a light bulb? I'm sorry, this isn't the right department to give you the answer to that question. Let me transfer you to another sub, hold please....

What do you call a computer smoking weed ? High tech.

A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages

Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?

In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"... ...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.

Tech support in the military Troubleshoot to kill.

Q is showing James Bond a new super high tech spy earpiece and Bond says, "why don't I just wear an airPod? Everyone has them hanging out their ears nowadays. I won't draw any suspicion." Q responds, "we researched them. Ours are less expensive."

Why was the builder also good at tech support? He could install Windows really well

Why did the crematorium tech quit? Not enough urnings.

So I saw one of those "Drink for Pink" labels on a bottle of juice... Sounds like Georgia Tech's hookup strategy.

Girl, are you an ITT Tech degree? Because you're worthless.

Why did the tech CEO's wife leave him? She wasn't satisfied when his performance dipped by 5-30%.

What do you call a computer that smokes pot? High-tech.

If you poke a Virginia Tech fan... Are you doing the Hokie Pokey?

I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week... we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!

How does a tech savvy cannibal count his calories? In kill-o-bites.

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry... The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

Tech support said to turn it off and on again... ... should have mentioned it was a ventilator.

Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.

How many Forbes writers does it take to make a good, solid tech article? You’re in for a nasty surprise -
No one knows yet. But we’re keeping count.

Why do spiders usually get jobs in tech? Most of them are already competent web developers.

People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

There’s a lot of people who enjoy Tech N9ne’s music But personally, I think he has Strange Music.

Why do tech companies have a basketball hoop in their parking lot? So that their employees won’t have troubleshooting.

Why are all the personal assistants on smartphones female? because they have to get women in tech somehow....

My German colleague had been trying to reach E.T. for a while now but it actually turns out he just wanted tech support.

Why should Sean Connery not work in Tech support? Because instead of using red ink, he would be shredding

What's the proper term for apple's latest tech rip-off? The grand stand.

Why is Amazon a rainforest? Because it has all the clouds.

Lame tech joke, sorry!!

Tech support got a phone call... Customer: "I don't get it, I pressed 'suspend' on my computer, the screen went black."

Technician: "Yeah, it puts your computer to sleep."

Customer: "But, it's still sitting on the desk..."