Teen Jokes

A pregnant teen and her baby is thinking the same thing... "My mom is gonna kill me."

Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club. Teen: Of course not dad!





Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.

What do a pregnant teen and her baby have in common? Both of their moms are gonna kill 'em

My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.

What does a pregnant teen and her baby have in common? They're both thinking,"Mom is gonna kill me".

A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in "I want to be a history major," he says.

The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!"

What is the opposite of a protein? An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're a teen.

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus? Because he was a Quran Teen.

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Give a teen a pizza, they'll be full for a day Give a teen a tide pod, they'll be full for the rest of their life

the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.

Why Does Italy Have Such A Low Teen Pregnancy Rate? Because the kids learn in Italian history to always pull out

Give a teen a fish, and they'll be full for a day Give a teen a Tide Pod, and they'll be full for the rest of their life

Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? *Acne waits until you're a teen to come on your face*

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Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community? It's exploded in the past few years

What does a pregnant teen and her baby have in common? They both thought "my mom's gonna kill me."

Friends son turned 13 today. Any teenager jokes I could give him? I'll start. Why do we know Abrahams son wasn't a teen when Abraham tried to sacrifice him? Because if he was a teenager, it wouldn't have been a sacrifice.

I don’t understand this recent trend where everyone seems to be obsessed with protein. I’m way more into amateur teen.

What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students? One's protein, the other's anti-teen.

So I heard they’re being stricter with teen pregnancies. Apparently people have problems with the child labor.

A blonde teen goes to the doctor complaining of chest pain Doctor : I guess I need see an x Ray to determine any damage to ribs

Blonde : Promise to delete after seeing

What did the depressed teen say to the other depressed teen? Can you knot?

My thoughts on MTV's "Teen Mom" being cancelled. MTV has cancelled "Teen Mom".


At least MTV knows when to pull out.

Tough Guy picking on a teen Tough guy: I bet your still a Virgin! HAHAHAHA
Other Guy: I was a Virgin until last night
Tough guy: As if!
Other guy: Yeah man just ask your sister
Tough Guy: I don't have a sister???
Other Guy: You will in about 9 months

Why are Teen aged boys so good at fishing? Because they're Master Baiters.

Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls... This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs.

Give a teen a basketball and he would have fun for a day Give a blind man a basketball and he would read it like a book

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle. It smells like teen spirit.

What does every teen tree want to be? Poplar

Why are teen boys the best delivery guys? Because they always deliver their load in under 8 seconds.

A teen walks into a girl scout meeting. They're learning how to tie different types of knots.

The girl says "Can I join you?"

They reply "Can you knot?"

OMG! We have another teen that took the "Tide Challenge"! Quick, call the podiatrist!

Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community? It's exploded in recent years

My teen daughter said, "Dad, treat me like a princess, it's my birthday." So I married her off to a rich 32 year old dude to strengthen my alliance with France who then had her beheaded after giving birth to a daughter.

What does a teen mom and her baby have in common? They are both a disappointment to their parents

Today Trump said that he has "one of the great memories of all time." It was the time he walked into the Miss Teen USA dressing room.

Why couldn't the gender confused teen see zer mother Because she was trans-parent

Nick: Dude, I would not die at the hands of a 13 year old! Rick: Nick, a teen can kill you.