Hilarious Teenage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Teenage Jokes

I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book... She laughed at me, and said

"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

Score: 17941

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

Score: 15075

I told my teenage niece to go get me a newspaper... She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you're so old. Just use my phone."

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

Score: 3824

Score: 2183

Why do white teenage girls always hang out in groups of 3, 5 or 7? They just, like, literally can't even

Score: 1699

Yesterday I was nothing more than a sad, teenage virgin But today I turned 20

Score: 1520

Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even.

Score: 329

Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even.

Score: 270

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls... But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Score: 250

Why do teenage girls travel in odd number groups? Because they can't even

Score: 244

Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

Score: 115

My teenage son is obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. But I'm sure it's just a phase.

Score: 113

Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

Score: 94

A teenage boy goes up to his father "Father I am not a virgin anymore"

Father: "Wow that's great! Lets sit down and drink something celebrate about this moment"

Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I can't sit"

Score: 92

Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFO's and aliens. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted

Score: 91

What do Hitler and teenage girls have in common? They both use chemicals to remove the polish.

Score: 90

Why Couldn't The Teenage Pirate See The Movie? Because he didn’t have VLC Player and the movie he downloaded was .AVI format, a format which Quicktime does not support!

Score: 77

A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.

Score: 54

I'm going to make a movie about a teenage boy and his journey to becoming an Olympic swimmer. I'm going to name it... Wet Dreams

Score: 51

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can’t even

Score: 49

Just been chatting to my neighbor's teenage daughter It turns out she's really into aliens and UFOs

Which is cool because tommorow she's getting abducted

Score: 44

What did the teenage cavemen and cavewomen love to do? Go clubbing

Score: 44

I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

Score: 38

"I have the brain of a german shepherd and the body of a teenage boy. They're both in my trunk and I want you to see them."

Score: 37

Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin? cause Swallow was too obvious.

Score: 27

Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even

Score: 27

How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar? They both want to unzip your genes

Score: 26

How to communicate effectively with your teenage son as an anti-vaxxer: 1. Ouija Board

Score: 26

I told my teenage daughter “There are two words you need to drop from your vocabulary. One is ‘awesome’ and the other is ‘gross’.” “Okay,” she replies, “what are they?”

Score: 26

A teenage boy to his father... A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore."

Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment."

Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I really cannot sit down for a while."

Score: 24

My teenage daughter is very odd She literally can't even.

Score: 10

Why do teenage girls walk in numbers of one, three, five, seven, and nine? They can't even.

Score: 7

What do you get when a teenage girl really sticks to her story? Christianity

Score: 7

Why did the anti vax mom not take her teenage son to a concert? She was afraid of the heavy metal.

Score: 6

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons? Those are the wrong Sais.

Score: 5

My mum said I couldn't go out past 12. My teenage years are going to be very lonely.

Score: 5

What do you call a teenage Hitler Zitler

Score: 5

What's the difference between a bond and a teenage girl A bond will actually mature

Score: 4

A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore." Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment."

Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I really cannot sit down for a while."

Score: 3

What does Roadrunner's teenage son say? *Mope mope*.

Score: 3

New Teenage Jokes

Why are teenage girls always in groups of three, five, seven or nine? Because they can't even.

Score: 2

My teenage son told me he doesn’t want to go to college I told him depending how the markets perform tomorrow he may not have to.

Score: 0

What did the teenage clam do when he saw an oyster? He clummed in his pants.

Score: 0

I told my teenage niece to get me a jornal She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you are so old. Just use my phone"

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

Score: 2

My wife laughed when I got out of the shower and I said I still had the body of a teenage football player. Until she checked the deep freeze.

Score: 1

Specify that you drive-thru order is to go. Bonus points if you have teenage kids in the car

Score: 2

I have a teenage daughter named Audry. We call her Aud for short though. It's because she "can't even"

Score: 2

What is the difference between the Pope’s luggage and a group of teenage girls? One of them are totes blessed and the other are blessed totes.

Score: 2

[OC] What's a teenage boy's favorite snack? Beef Jerky

Score: 2

A Vampire Visited A Teenage Girl In School He told her that he'll see her next period.

Score: 2

Whats the difference between a supreme tee and Kevin Spacey? One of them is on teenage boys and the other is in teenage boys.

Score: 1

What do prime numbers and a teenage girl have in common? They both can't even.

Score: 3

Why do teenage girls travel in odd groups Because they caaan’t even

Score: 2

A CTO tells her programmers at work the same thing she tells her pregnant teenage daughter. Just push it out and get feedback, or terminate the project.

CTO: chief technology officer.

Score: 1

What is the title given to the Best teenage fisherman? The Master-Baiter.

Score: 2

What's the worst period in a teenage boy's life? The one his girlfriend misses.

Score: 2

What common skin condition do teenage shaolin monks get? Chi-zits

Score: 1

A teenage mutant ninja turtle walks into a bar Yeah, right, like ninjas would ever be *seen* walking into a bar.

Score: 2

Some teenage computer mice were forced to talk to each other... It took them a while, but they cliqued.

Score: 2

Its Wrong Number ! A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

Score: 2

A Polish man read... That 90% of fatal auto accidents happen within 10 miles of home. As the father of two teenage drivers, he picked up and moved the family 25 miles away to be extra safe.

Score: 2

After years of denial and fear, the teenage car part finally told his parents " Mom...Dad...." I`m a tranny

Score: 1

TIL that 94% of teenage boys fap in the shower and the other 6% sing a song. Do you know what that song is? I didn't think so.

Score: 1