Hilarious Tired Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Tired Jokes

If you run in front of a car you'll get tired... But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted

Score: 13917

I'm tired of all these forced gender neutral terms The girl I'm going out with insist on calling me just friend instead of boyfriend

Score: 11550

I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day. I'm tired of being fat every day.

Score: 8484

Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired? Because they're working around the clock.

Score: 6398

Score: 1992

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

Score: 1783

If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind a car, you get exhausted.

Score: 1781

Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs? They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists

Score: 1009

I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit. I think it's time to make a stand.

Score: 640

My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her, and I'm getting tired of it. She sounds just like my wife

Score: 616

I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.

Score: 600

I'm tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment I did it once and killed a cyclist.

Score: 565

I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be "saved" or "I'll burn"... Stupid firefighters.

Score: 563

Confucius Say Man who run behind car get exhausted

But man who run in front of car get tired.

Score: 535

In getting tired of the jehovah witnesses. They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

Score: 494

Man Runs In Front Of Car, He Gets Tired Man Runs Behind Car, He Gets Exhausted.

Score: 462

Why didn't the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired.

Score: 391

If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind it, you get exhausted.

Score: 390

Why did the woman divorce the grape? She was tired of raisin' kids.

Score: 383

I was tired and bored one night, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Score: 336

Why do you never tease a fat girl with lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it.

Score: 332

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.

Edit: FFS guys it's a ruddy joke. It doesn't have to be scientifically accurate

Score: 324

Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” The bartender pours them both hydrogen peroxide because he's tired of their bullshit every day

Score: 301

I'm tired of seeing "Hey OP, I banged your mom" comments every time I post a submission.... I never should have given dad my username.

Score: 257

Don't make fun of fat people with lisps... They are thick and tired of it.

Score: 249

Why should you never make fun of fat people who have lisps? They're thick and tired of it

Score: 241

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

Score: 226

Why should you never make fun of a fat person with a lisp? Because he's thick and tired of it

Score: 223

I am sick and tired of millenials and their entitled attitude. Always walking around like they rent the place.

Score: 221

Whats the difference between running in front of a car and running after a car? When you run after the car, you get exhausted. If you run in front of it, you'll get tired.

Score: 215

You should never tease a fat girl with a lisp. She's probably thick and tired of it.

Score: 147

My friend believes The Office is the best television show, and belittles anyone that thinks otherwise I'm so tired of these Dwight Supremacists

Score: 125

I live with my wife in a two story house... "I'm too tired" and "I have a headache" are the only two stories I hear...

Score: 115

If you stand in front of a car, you get tired. If you stand behind a car, you get exhausted.

Score: 115

Why don't you make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it.

Score: 73

Why cant a bicycle stand? Because its too tired

EDIT: ! Thx for upvotes

Score: 58

Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she is thick and tired of it.

Score: 58

I'm tired of making fun of Mariah Carey It's so 2016

Score: 57

Why was the soldier tired on April 1st? He had just come through a 31-day March.

Score: 57

Stop making fun of the fat girl Shes thick and tired of it.

Score: 54

New Tired Jokes

two blondes in a forest In December, two blondes in a forest are looking for a Christmas tree. They go all around the forest for hours. Then one of them says:
"I am very tired and I am fed up with the searching - let's take some tree without the decoration."

Score: 37

Sometimes I get tired of people calling me "loose" and "easy." But I guess if the shoe fits....

Score: 3

I Know why Zayn Malik left islam he tired of praying in one direction

Score: 4

Why did the brake pedal get therapy? It was tired of being depressed.

Score: 24

Anyone else tired of seeing the same joke over and over again? The next election can’t come quick enough.

Score: 5

A little boy walks into the living room and catches his dad jerking off... Kid yells "ewww!"

Dad says "oh whatever, you'll be doing this soon yourself."

"No I won't!" yells back the kid.

"Oh yes you will, my arm is getting tired."

Score: 11

I coult figure out why my bike wouldn't stand up on it's own Then I realized it was two tired.

Score: 6

What are deaf people tired of hearing? Nothing.

Score: 4

Why shouldn't you tease a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it.

Score: 22

A man's son walks in on him masterbaiting The son says "dad what are you doing?!". The dad replies, "don't worry you'll be doing it soon enough". The son asks "what do you mean?" And the dad replies; "well, my arm is getting tired".

Score: 3

Why are keyboards always tired? They have 2 shifts

Score: 14

There are two types of people And they're both sick and tired of being put into two groups.

Score: 8

I was going to make a joke about being Too Tired... But I'm four-wheeled.

Score: 4

I am so tired I need to take a sodium phosphide A NaP

Score: 4

I wanted to buy a motorcycle But I'm too tired to do it.

Score: 4

Why can’t bicycles stand on their own? Because they’re two tired.

Score: 7

The US must be very tired... They've certainly missed all the wake up calls.

Score: 4

Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she is probably thick and tired of it!

Score: 20

Why do you never want to call a middle eastern man with a turban a Muslim? Because they are Sikh and tired of it!

Score: 19

I just flew into town, and boy are my arms tired ...I'm a real nervous flyer, so I spent the whole flight just jerking it in the bathroom.

Score: 5

Why did the motorcycle stay at home? It was two-tired

Score: 11

What do you do when you see a green alien? Wait until they are ripe!

* I'm either really tired, or this is so stupid it's hilarious

Score: 10

Two robbers were running away from the crime scene when a bus gets sandwiched between them. The one in front got tired, and the one behind got exhausted.

Score: 9

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

PS: Saw this somewhere on Facebook not my original.

Score: 5

A cop once told me to take a nap... I wasn't tired, so I got jailed for resisting a rest.

Score: 30

Confucious say Confucious say: Man who run in front of bus gets tired, but man who run behind bus gets exhausted.

Score: 4

Two men run near a car. One is in front of the car and the other is behind it. The one in the front gets tired eventually,
but the guy in the back is exhausted.

Score: 23

I ran over man sleeping by the road. I guess he was tired.

Score: 4

All these reposts are turning me into a bicycle. I'm just two-tired to put up with them any longer.

Score: 3

I got pulled over by the police... Police: "Turn around"
Me: "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round"
Police: "Turn around"
Me: "Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to..."

That's when I got tasered.

Score: 4

Why couldn't the old bike stay upright? It was *two-tired.*

An oldy, but a goody, I hope you can *handle* it.

Changing *gears*, I *spoke* at a fancy unicycle conference and you know what's different there? *Attire.*

I'm just *pedaling* for upvotes.

Score: 5

A Russian hooker is knocking all night long on Trump's door... In the morning, he was tired of it, so he let her out.

Score: 11

A bike cannot stand by itself. It's two tired.

Score: 5

What does a bicycle say after a long ride? "I'm two tired!"

Score: 10

The astronomers got tired of watching the Moon go around the Earth for 24 hours. . So they decided to call it a day.

Score: 14

I was tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours So I decided to call it a day

Score: 53

When should guys ask for a girl's hand? When they get tired of their own.

I saw this on a game forum and it was not related whatsoever

Score: 4

I'm sick and tired of beating around the bush, so I have to ask... Are there any other ways to satisfy my girlfriend?

Score: 13

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired.

Score: 37

What's the difference between pulling and pushing a car? When you pull a car, you get tired. When you push one you get exhausted.

Score: 27

I got tired of my life being sad and depressed so I turned it around. Now I'm depressed and sad.

Score: 5

I'm a Sikh and tired of being called a Muslim. We're the 7-ELEVEN guys not the 9/11 guys.

Score: 28

Man, I am just sick and tired of gravity... It's always bringing me down!

Score: 27

When do bakers stop making donuts? When they get tired of the hole thing

Score: 45

Wheelchairs should have pedals on them So if you get tired of using your arms you can pedal

Score: 16

What's the difference between standing at the front of a moving car and standing behind it? If you stand in front of the car, you will get tired; but if you stand behind it, you will get exhausted.

Score: 10

Confucius say Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who run in front of bus get tired.

Score: 31

Why did the car have bags under its headlights? It was tired

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I'm tired of people comparing Trump to Hitler. After all, Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 8

I'm in a band called Tired Bull. You should come to one of our shows.

We don't charge.

Score: 8

Tired of people complaining about Ukrainian body's of water that Russia is occupying Crimea river.

Score: 12

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band? He was tired of Haulin' Oats

Score: 4

I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."

Score: 48

So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so

Score: 19

Why do you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it.

Score: 20

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Score: 3

Printer tired while printing her picture Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Score: 4

Why can't a bicycle stand with out a kick stand? It's just two-tired.

Score: 5

What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert? Very tired feet.

Score: 28

Never make fun of a heavy girl with a lisp. She is thick and tired of it.

Score: 16