Hilarious Trust Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Trust Jokes

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship. A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!" Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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I told my wife I lost 10 lbs in one hour "No way. That's impossible!" she said.

"Trust me," I said, "I have no idea where our baby is."

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IT guy John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "

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Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.

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How do you tell a dad joke from a bad joke? Trust me, the difference is apparent.

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As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of death I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

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I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something.

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I don't trust umbrellas. They're shady.

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Why can't you trust an artist? Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

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What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust.

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I don't trust people with graph paper. They're always plotting something

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Never trust a mathematician with a graph. They're always plotting something.

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Why can't you ever trust an atom? Because they make up everything

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Never trust stairs, They're always up to something.

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Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn? He couldn't trust his hose.

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Don't trust people who avoid the sun. They're shady.

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A policeman said he wanted to search my car. "You won't find any drugs," I told him.

He said, "You don't sound sure about that."

I said, "Trust me, I looked earlier."

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Never trust anybody who has graph paper. They're always plotting something.

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I stopped going to my acupuncturist because I couldn't trust him He was a backstabber.

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Never trust German butchers! *They said they had the best sausages in the world*

*But they kept showing me the wurst.*

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A doctor told me I was colorblind But I don't trust purple people

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I don't trust people who use graph paper They're always plotting something.

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A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service You just play games.

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Never trust an atom when the pressure is on, they split.

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Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

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Why did no one trust the dermatologist? He kept making rash decisions.

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Don't trust atoms, no matter what. They make up everything.

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Why can't you trust stairs? Because they are always up to something.

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Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful" I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.

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Growing up my father told me to "only trust a man as far as you can throw him." That's why I trust babies so much.

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Never trust a person with 2 anuses Because they're biassed

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My girlfriend has a lot of trust issues. Well, one of them does.

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My math teacher asked "should we trust a radical?" I said no, they ain't safe around planes.

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Never trust a harp. They're all lyres.

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Never trust volleyball players with your drinks They might spike 'em.

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Why shouldn't you trust Hitler with a grill? He always burns the Franks.

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Don't trust any diet advice that tells you to eat light... For that's most certainly the way to become a black hole.

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New Trust Jokes

I trust my fingers alot! Because i can count on them..............

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Never trust a BMW driver! I was just in my 4th collision involving a BMW. Maybe it’s time I stopped buying them

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Why does nobody trust big cats? Because they're always lion

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What did the hamster tell the software engineer? "Trust me! All your problems can be solved by doing something in a loop"

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Look, I'm gonna teach you how to fulfill your fat fetish and help you seduce someone fat. Trust me I've easily done it before. It's a piece of cake.

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You can't trust real estate developers. They're always busy with plots and schemes.

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Why is there no trust among ghosts? They can see right through each other.

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Why are babies so reliable? Because you can trust 'em about as far as you can throw 'em

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Why should you never trust am Atom? They make up everything!

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You can never trust atoms They make up everything

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Why can't you trust telemarketers? Because they sound phony.

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Why can't you trust fajitas? Because they tend to spill the beans.

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What is the definition of trust ? Two cannibals getting down on eachother.

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You should probably not trust me if... I'm in my bed, because I'm probably going to lie there

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A blonde encountered a brunette friend of hers and said, “I heard that you had died.” The brunette replied, “Well, you can see, I’m alive.”

To which the blonde said, “But I trust the redhead who told me more than you.”

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My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too." "Unless you're on a see-saw with them," I added.

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You can't trust stairs They're always up to something.

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Never trust an elevator He is going to let you down

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The Dyslexia Research Trust in UK is located in a town called Reading

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Why can't you trust a large cat? Because it could be lion

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Why can't you trust acupuncture specialists? They'll always stab you in the back.

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Never trust a dolphin to do an important task for you. Because if they mess up, it wasn't an accident, they did it on porpoise.

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Don't trust javascript programmers All they do is promises but they never callback.

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You gotta learn to trust your government. *leans into hidden mic* Just like I do!

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Why I don't trust photos taken from a cellphone camera They seem...phony

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What is a cannibal's true test of trust? 69-ing

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My marriage is based on trust. And that trust is based in the Cayman Islands.

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I never trust octagons. They're always lazy, just squares that cut all the corners.

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Why can't you trust crowded libraries? They're full of 'shhh'.

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[Dad Joke] I don't trust our air conditioning system. It seems forced.

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Trust me, you don't want to try fisting I've had first hand experience

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What do you get if you cross Human DNA and Panda DNA? Banned from the zoo. Trust me, I found out the hard way.

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I don't trust the people on Wall Street. Last time I invested, someone Madoff with all my savings.

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A spider got sick from eating a fly he trapped... his mother told him not to trust everything he finds on the web

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Why shouldn't you trust the animal? 'cause he's lion

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Marine Le Pen, recount the vote! I do not trust Arabic numbers, use Roman numerals.

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why can you never trust atoms? because they make up everything.

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The other scientists in the lab were all talking about atoms. I told them not to trust them because they make up everything.

They asked me to leave.

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I do not trust the doctor anymore! All of patients are sick!

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Don't ever trust someone with graph paper. They're always plotting something.

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Why should you never trust pillowcase salesmen? Because it might be a SHAM!

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Why did the shampoo have trust issues? Because the soap was a lye.

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don't make paper snowflakes for a living. Trust me, you'll have your work cut out for you.

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Why does nobody trust communist revolutionaries? They always raise a few red flags.

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I don't trust anyone with a conspiracy theory, man. I think they are all up to something.

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My dad doesnt trust anyone, in fact he has a saying about it But he wouldnt tell me

Credits: Anthony Jeselnik

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My friend recently took up origami... My friend recently took up origami, although he's not very good at making creases, and every time he messes up he gets angrier and angrier...

Trust me, you wouldn't want to be there when it all unfolds...

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Never trust a stairwell. Every time you turn around, it's a new story!

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Why can't you trust a person with two butts? Because they're bi-assed.

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I wouldn't trust atoms if I were you. They make up everything.

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In 15 days, a man with questionable hair and direction will be watched by millions as he takes control of a terrfied group of people who don't know how much they can trust him. But enough about M. Night Shyamalan's new movie Split.

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You should never trust a Scottish tailor. It'll get you kilt.

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I just can't trust stairs anymore Try seem like they're down for anything, but really they're always up to something

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Wife to Husband: I am not talking to you...! Husband : OK
Wife : Don't you want to know the reason.
Husband : No,I respect & Trust your decision....!

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I don't trust chairs. They just don't sit right with me.

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I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

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With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

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Do not trust atoms They make up everything

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I'm 99% sure I have trust issues. Though I'm not sure I trust my math.

Edit: I grammar well

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In which month should you not trust a Jew? July!

-bored on a 28 hour road trip. It was the best we could do.

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