Hilarious Walking Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Walking Jokes

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.

Score: 12231

Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?” And the other responds, “duh... ... can you see Florida?”

Score: 9889

I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking away

Score: 8109

How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.

J.K. Rowling

Score: 3607

I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two blind guys fighting We got closer and I said "My bet is on the one with the knife."
They both ran

Score: 2913

Score: 2517

Was walking down the street yesterday, seen an ad in the shop window. "T.V FOR SALE, €1, VOLUME STUCK ON FULL" I said, can't turn that down.

Score: 2293

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

Score: 1471

A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"

The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".

Score: 1451

Saw a guy walking with a naked woman on his back. "You OK?" I asked. "Sure. I'm headed to a fancy dress as a tortoise."

"And her?"

"Oh, that's Michelle."

Score: 1447

I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

Score: 1396

A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"

Score: 1168

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

Score: 948

A politician is walking down the street when he is suddenly attacked. The assailant says "give me all your money." The politician says "do you know who I am? I'm an important government official." The mugger says, "fine, give me all my money."

Score: 847

How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling

Score: 816

A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles. The librarian asks "hard back?"

The guy replies "yeah little heads too."

Score: 729

I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
From Les Dawson.

Score: 656

I was walking passed a farm and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’. I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.

Score: 624

I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.

Score: 573

I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

Score: 490

A woman in her twenties sees a large black man walking by and decides to flirt with him. “So is it true what they say about black guys?” He responds, “Sure is.” Then he punched her in the face and stole her purse.

Score: 438

Dad joke: So I saw this dude walking around with a long pole. I asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter"? He said "Nein, I am ze German... but tell me, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"/

Score: 412

My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her. It's been three months and now I'm over 300 miles away from home.

Score: 391

The other day I saw Denzel Washington walking down the street. I shouted to him ,"Hey Denzel!" He responded, "Does every black man look like Denzel Washington to you?"

Classic Denzel.

Score: 366

As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick... "Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.

"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

Score: 344

A Life Guard is walking along a beach A Life Guard is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries.

The Life guard laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.

Score: 308

How did Harry Potter go down the hill? Walking.

jk... Rolling.

Score: 294

The first joke I invented all on my own (age ~5-6) Why don't pirates like playing cards?

There's always someone walking across the deck.

Score: 289

I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.

He said he was outside before it was cool.

Score: 278

What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common? All their Walkers are dead

Score: 240

I was walking by a car filled with bIack people and as I came near they locked the door. I felt like such a badass Then I realized that it was my car..

Score: 154

A kid and a clown are walking through the woods. The kid looks around and says, "man these woods sure are scary"

The clown replies, "you're telling me I have to walk out of here alone."

Score: 149

Two guys were walking though the Sahara They suddenly see a tiger approaching .

One guy throws sand in the tiger's eyes and he runs away.

The other guy keeps standing still.

"RUN MAN, WHY ARE YOU STANDING STILL??"

"Well I didn't throw the sand at him"

Score: 145

We've had a horrible winter this year. It was so cold, lawyers were walking around with their hand is their *own* pockets.

Score: 137

Your mommas so poor I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

Score: 116

Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv and I thought "is that one mine"?... ... then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment.

Score: 106

I was walking down the road and I saw this really hot homeless girl... So I asked her if I could take her home with me. She said yes and so I took her box to my house.

Score: 90

A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night... "Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"

"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."

Score: 90

There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking… The result was staggering…

Score: 77

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.

Happy Easter

Score: 73

New Walking Jokes

My flat earther friend decided to prove his theory by walking to the end of the world In the end, he came around.

Score: 38

I’m so sick of millennials and their attitudes... Always walking around like they rent the place!

Score: 19

The secret to walking out of a casino with a small fortune is to walk in with a large one

Score: 26

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside... I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"

He said, "That's the Barbie queue."

Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

Score: 10

76% of horses prefer running to walking ... According to a recent gallop poll.

Score: 9

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Score: 12

Jim and bob walking down the street Bob falls down a dark hole.

Jim: hey bob is it dark down there??

Bob : I don't know , I can't see

Score: 9

Highest level of confidence: walking around naked alone in my apartment. Lowest level of confidence: being caught walking around naked in my apartment.

Score: 13

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

Score: 44

A clown and a five year old boy are walking into the woods As they get deeper into the forest the little boy says, Wow it's scary in here!
The clown replies, What are you scared of, I gotta walk out of here alone!

Score: 12

What's Harry Potter's favourite way of going down a hill? Walking.
JK Rolling.

Score: 58

What do you call a snarky villain walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending

Score: 20

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan dude He was standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

Score: 28

I realized I was getting older when I saw a young lady walking down the street and thought to myself. I wonder what HER mom looks like....

Score: 11

I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phone book. She laughed and called me an antique, then proceeded to give me her phone.

Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.

Score: 21

How does Harry Potter get down a hill? Walking.

Jk Rowling.

Please don't hurt me...

Score: 11

I was walking by a house the other day that was being worked on and the guy hammering on the roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse Code.

Score: 10

How does Harry Potter go down the hill? By walking!

JK!

Rowling!

Score: 19

Why I love working out at the gym I go to! There's this hot MILF always walking around checking me out.

I love home gyms.

Score: 11

A man was walking down the street with a long pipe on his shoulder when somebody came up to him and said 'Excuse me, are you a Pole Vaulter?' He replied, 'No I'm German, but how did you know my name?'.

Score: 9

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree Son: "Dad where did I come from?"

Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."

Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."

Dad: "I slipped in cider."

Score: 61

walking through the park As I was walking through the park I saw an old man feeding the birds and I thought to myself "I wonder how long he's been dead"

Score: 21

A woman was killed after walking in front of a street paver. It was her own dumb asphalt.

Score: 24

What's Harry Potter's favorite way to go down a hill? Walking.

J.K Rowling

Score: 23

What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking.

Score: 13

I'm sick of emo kids walking school around with their shaved heads Oh wait, that's the chemo kids

Score: 13

Good trade Man was walking down the street with a case of beer. His friend Sam stops him and asks "what did ya get the beer for?"

I got it for my wife answers the man

Oh exclaims Sam "Good trade"

Score: 10

Two guys are walking down the sidewalk, one guy walks into a bar... The other guy ducks.

Score: 9

My crush told me someone was stalking her when she was walking home. I instantly called her on her bullshit because nobody else was following her when I followed her home.

Score: 19

I saw a black man running.. I was walking down the street one evening and I saw a black man running holding a television. I thought to my self "i wonder if that's mine", so I hurried back home and lo and behold it was still there, shining my shoes.

Score: 69

A blind man was taking a stroll And on his walk he passed by a fish market. As we he was walking by, he took a deep breath and said "Well hello, ladies!"

Score: 12

A man is walking through a cemetery when he sees a headstone that reads, "Here lies John, an honest man and a lawyer."

"How about that," he thinks. "Three men buried in one grave!"

Score: 22

What do you call a snobbish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

Score: 11

What is Harry Potters favorite method of getting down a hill? Walking....jk, rolling

Score: 15

I was walking down thenstreet and saw a homeless man Being the generous person I am, I gave him a dollar

I walked a little further and found a homeless woman. Being the generous person I am, I gave her 76 cents.

Score: 23

Why does the bride-to-be smile as she's walking to the alter? Because she knows she has already given her last blow-job.

Score: 8

TIFU by accidentally walking out with the footlong BLT of the guy ahead of me in line Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 59

What is Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking.

...JK rolling.

Score: 10

Before you criticise a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticise that person again, you'll be a mile away AND have their shoes.

Score: 34

I was walking down the road when I saw 4 guys beating one other guy, so by natural instinct I decided to help Haha, he couldn't stand a chance against all 5 of us.

Score: 52

Two blondes are walking in the woods. They come across some tracks. One says they are deer tracks. The other says no they are bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Score: 49

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending

Score: 12

What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger? Stephen Walking

Score: 15

Dad, how do you know if someone is drunk? Dad: Look son, you see those two people walking by?, if I had seen 4, I would've been drunk.

Son: But dad, there's only one person.

Score: 66

I was walking downtown yesterday when this poor little old lady fell down in front of me. At least I think she was poor; she only had $2.10 in her purse.

Score: 30

As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to "Have a good day" Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home

Score: 24

I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone. I shouted "Morning!"

He replied "No, just pooping."

Score: 35

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backward? A receding hareline.

Score: 20

A black man is walking down the street... I saw a black man walking down the street, carrying a TV with him.

"That's funny" I thought, "I could've sworn that was mine!"

But then I remembered, it *couldn't* be mine, because mine was at home,

Shining my shoes.

Score: 14

Walking Talking Stephen Hawking

Score: 8

It was a rainy day, she had just left him and was walking back home... "Nobody will find him there"
She thought as she walked.

Score: 8

I was walking down the street in New York yesterday, when a black guy asked me if the Yankees won... I replied, "Yeah man, you're free."

Score: 11

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics? Walking

Score: 8

A man and a boy are walking through the dark woods together Boy: Wow this is really scary

Man: How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!!!

Score: 11

two blonds and a river a blonde is walking along a river, having a good time. then she sees another blonde on the other side. she yells "HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!" the other blonde yells back "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!!"

Score: 9

What does fast and furious 5 and the walking dead have in common? They both have dead walkers.

Score: 60

20 blondes are standing outside a bar. On the other side of the street another blond is walking by; "Hey, come over here. You have to be 21 to enter"

Score: 8

What do The Walking Dead and the Fast and Furious series have in common? They both have dead walkers.

Score: 25

What spoils quicker than unrefridgerated meat? The Walking Dead's facebook page.

Score: 16

I was walking near the Beach When I heard someone yell "Help shark Help"... I laughed because I knew no sharks were going to come help.

Score: 38