What's The Difference Between Jokes

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Funniest What's The Difference Between Jokes

What's the difference between humans and a bullet? Humans miss John Lennon

Score: 17208
Funny What's The Difference Between Jokes
Score: 16502

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

Score: 14960

What's the difference between a casino and a church? You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

Score: 12624

What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...

Bit of British humour right there ;)

Score: 12000

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 11159

What's the difference between England and Viagra? Viagra can get you past a semi

Score: 10938

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Score: 9572

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Iraqi preschool? I have no idea, I just fly the drone.

Score: 9322

What's the difference between Thailand and America? Thailand reunites boys with their families.

Score: 9198

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of is paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Score: 7727

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

Score: 7149

What's the difference between a religion and a cult? In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it is all bullshit.

In a religion that person is dead.

Score: 6976

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 6766

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

Edit: certainly didn't expect this to get so many votes or make it to the front page.

Score: 4596

What's the difference between an actress and a hooker. That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.

Score: 3821

What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards

Score: 3282

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

What's the difference between communism and a pencil? The pencil works on things other than paper.

Score: 2936

What's the difference between a good joke and A bad joke timing

Score: 2744

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

Score: 2677

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

Score: 2324

What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

Score: 2315

What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe.

Score: 2216

What's the difference between Trump becoming president and a soldier dying in combat? The soldier knew what he signed up for.

Score: 2078

What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.

Score: 1920

What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Your mom can't take a joke

Score: 1917

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

Score: 1637

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger.

Score: 1635

What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

Score: 1598

What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause

Score: 1257

What's the difference between a pickpocket and peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches


EDIT:
my first gold! Thank you kind stranger. I do like gold even though it gives me a gilt complex

Score: 1227

What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician? A rock musician plays 3 chords for 20,000 people, and a jazz musician plays 20,000 chords for 3 people

Score: 1178

What's the difference between America and cheese? If left for a while, cheese develops culture.

Score: 1119

What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida? About 3 days

In all honesty though, my thoughts and good wishes go out to the people of Florida,

Score: 1119

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest gets something accomplished when triggered.

Score: 976

What's the difference between an iPhone X and one ounce of gold? An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.

Score: 671

What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a Philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!

Score: 446

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest does something when it's triggered.

Score: 444

What's the difference between an African and an Indian Elephant One of them is an elephant

Score: 407

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New What's The Difference Between Jokes

What's the difference between me and my calendar? Calendar has dates.

Score: 90

What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks? Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.

Score: 131

What's the difference between my dad and other dads? Beats me.

Score: 200

What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One of them isn't an elephant.

Score: 111

What's the difference between a Taliban Base and a hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone

Score: 206

What's the difference between a Board and a Plank? Boards can change, but Plank's constant.

Score: 140

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Afghanistan elementary school? I have no clue, I just fly the drone.

Score: 381

What's the difference between a joke and 4 dicks? My ex can't take a joke.

Score: 256

What's the difference between a car tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, one's a great year.

Score: 304

What's the difference between E.T. and a refugee? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.

Score: 183

What's the difference between America and Yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years it develops a culture.

Score: 121

What's the difference between Mcgregor and Mayweather? Mcgregor hugs his wife and beats his opponents while
Mayweather beats his wife and hugs his opponents

Score: 100

What's the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend? The knife has a point.

Score: 286

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? You can get one beer nut for $1.35, but two deer nuts are just under a buck

Score: 102

What's the difference between a bomb and a social justice warrior? The bomb actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.

Score: 152

What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse? One is a display of cunning stunts.

Score: 123

What's the difference between incest and necrophilia? Incest is relatively boring, necrophilia is dead boring.

Score: 125

What's the difference between me and my friends? I exist.

Score: 115

What's the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home

Score: 96

What's the difference between Twitter and Vietnam? Trump would never dodge a Twitter war.

Score: 168

What's the difference between a cow and the Trump-Russia controversy? You can't milk a cow 24/7 for six months straight.

Score: 196

What's the difference between a flashlight and a fleshlight? One takes C batteries and the other takes D's.

Score: 124

What's the difference between a refugee and E.T.? E.T. could speak English and wanted to go home.

Score: 146

What's the difference between an Australian and a pot of yogurt? Leave a pot of yogurt in the sun for 200 years and it develops a culture.

Score: 331

What's the difference between a comma and a cat? One is a pause at the end of a clause, the other has claws at the end of its paws.

Score: 287

What's the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer? The former is a ladder and the latter is a former.

Score: 254

What's the difference between a calendar and you? The calendar has a future.

Score: 121

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through his monologue without laughing.

Score: 227

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other is a great year.

Score: 91

What's the difference between an illegal alien and E.T.? E.T. learned English and went home.

Score: 273

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide bomber's vest? When triggered, a suicide bomber's vest actually accomplishes something.

Score: 86

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? One likes men and the other is disabled.

EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.

Score: 99

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna!

Score: 122

What's the difference between the USA and a bird? On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.

Score: 242

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabi dooooooooooooooooo!

Score: 339

What's the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines? One has dragons and the other has drag-offs

Score: 168

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.

Score: 293

What's the difference between America and Yogurt If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

Score: 116

What's the difference between a feminist and a spear? The spear has a point.

Score: 96

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh*t

Score: 249

What's the difference between an illegal immigrant and an alien? E.T. learned to speak English and wanted to go home.

Score: 89

What's the difference between Muslim and a terrorist? I don't know, I just sign executive orders.

I'll be here all week.

Score: 394

What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin


Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

Score: 148

What's the difference between me and a calendar? The calendar has dates

*sigh*

Score: 142

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself? One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

Score: 135

What's the difference between a priest and a dog? One wears pants and a collar, the other wears a collar and pants

Score: 102

What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone.

Score: 175

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something after it's triggered.

Score: 163

What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.

Score: 109

What's the difference between a Pakistani preschool and Isis headquarters? I don't know man I just fly the drones

Score: 395

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick? The brick will eventually get laid.

Score: 346

What's the difference between a group of Pakastani School Girls and a group of ISIS soldiers.. Don't ask me I just fly the drone.

Score: 169

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants? E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

Score: 165

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year.

Score: 99

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke? Pizza jokes can't be topped!

:D

Score: 150

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids

Score: 89

What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One's a little lighter.

Score: 145

What's the difference between children and Isis? Drones can't tell either

Score: 261

What's the difference between a lawyer and a $400/hour prostitute? The prostitute tells you upfront that you are going to get screwed.

Score: 143

What's the difference between my job and a dead hooker? My job still sucks

Score: 184

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