Hilarious Whats Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Whats Jokes

If I got a dime every time I didn't understand whats going on, I'd be like "why are you giving me these dimes?"

Score: 12607

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math" Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Score: 12406

Score: 9750

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle. Coconut.

Score: 4982

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” "Because…He’s my newt.

Score: 2442

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? How I bought your mother

Score: 2362

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike? Attire.

Score: 1736

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know I just fly the drone.

Score: 1729

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital? I dunno, I just fly the drone...

Score: 1637

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta

Score: 1616

I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD.

I peed

Score: 1475

Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."

Score: 1244

Whats the most pointless thing that actually exists? Circles.

Score: 1042

Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school? I dont know, I just fly the drones.

Score: 854

Whats the difference between racism and Asians ? Racism has many faces.

Score: 691

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? BMWs have the pricks on the inside!

Score: 662

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 507

Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up

edit: if you're a feminist and you're here to downvote the post and all the comments, that just gives more truth to the joke.

Score: 467

Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? I dont cry when I cut up a hooker

Score: 465

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'? A miscarriage!

This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

Score: 388

Whats blue and doesn't weigh much? Light Blue.

Score: 359

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Score: 285

a hooker says "Hey padre, twenty dollars for a quicky". He has no idea whats going on, so he returns to the monastary and calls the Mother Superior to his office and asks her "Whats a quicky?" She replies "Twenty dollars, same as in town".

Score: 277

Whats worse than running with scissors? Scissoring with the runs.

Score: 246

Whats the difference between american women and middle eastern women? American women get stoned before they commit adultery..

Score: 234

Whats a horses favorite wine? Chardonneigh

Score: 223

Whats the difference between running in front of a car and running after a car? When you run after the car, you get exhausted. If you run in front of it, you'll get tired.

Score: 215

Whats the best thing about dating a girl into zoophilia? Your best friend gets laid too.

Score: 194

Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones.

Score: 181

Whats the difference between a gun and a feminist? A gun only has one trigger

Score: 175

Whats a prisoners favorite punctuation mark? Period.

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Score: 112

Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman? One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction

Score: 111

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? There's one less drunk.

Score: 97

Do you know whats the best thing about dating homeless girls? The fact that you can drop them off anywhere you want

Score: 96

Whats the difference between a muslim and a catholic priest? The muslim has to die before he gets his virgins.

Score: 88

My girlfriend asked me what she should wear... "a reverse burka" I told her. "Whats that?" she asked. "it's when all you're wearing is a blindfold."

Score: 87

Whats green and wet and smells like bacon? kermit the frog's finger

Score: 71

Whats the difference between a pimple and a priest? A pimple waits until you're 12 to come on your face

Score: 69

Whats the difference between sarcasm and feminism? People sometimes take sarcasm seriously.

Score: 65

Whats the difference between a spear and a feminist? A spear has a point

Score: 62

New Whats Jokes

Wanna know whats better with i? ESPN

Score: 6

Whats the difference between us and a bullet? We miss Harambe.

Score: 11

Whats something that's illegal to steal but nobody wants Virginity

Score: 7

Whats the difference between Middle Earth and New York? Two towers

Score: 8

Whats red and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby playing with a cheese grater

Score: 23

First women in space. "Houston, we have a problem."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"Whats the problem?"
"Nothing."
"Please tell us."
"I'm fine."

Score: 41

Whats the best part of all dad jokes? The punchline is always a parent .

Score: 9

Whats curved and hairy on the outside, wet and juicy on the inside, begins with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? a coconut

Score: 13

Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? You can drop them off anywhere.

Score: 34

Whats the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lima bean on me.

Score: 6

Whats the difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man arguing with his wife? The man buying a lottery ticket actually has a chance of winning.

Score: 17

Whats the difference between "Oooh" and "Aahh?" About 3 inches.

Score: 7

Whats the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on your face till you're a teenager.

Score: 11

Whats the difference between an ISIS stronghold and a syrian school? I dont know, i just fly the drone.

Score: 60

Whats long, black and hard to cut into? The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion

Score: 10

Whats the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You should stop milking the cow after 15 years.

Score: 11

Whats the difference between enzymes and hormones? I've never made an en zyme.

Score: 37

Whats the average man got in common with subway foot longs ? they're always a little smaller than they say.

Score: 6

Whats the best Navy in the world? The French Navy, you'll never see them coming!

Score: 11

Whats a frogs favourite drink? Croaka Cola.

Score: 6

Whats he difference between a camel and a college student? Camel can go daaaays without drinking.

Score: 9

Whats more fun than spinning a baby around on a clothesline? Stopping it with a shovel ;;)

Score: 6

Whats better than two roses on a piano? Tulips on a organ...

Score: 7

Whats a low-end PC's New Years Resolution? 800x600

Score: 10

Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie? One's stoned and one's baked.

Score: 10

Whats wrong with the Bar on the Moon? It doesn't have any atmosphere

Score: 31

A good boy asked to his mummy..... Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy?" His mum answered "You will get many.

Score: 6

Hey boss, whats the difference between this morning and your daughter? I am not coming in this morning.

Score: 28

whats a math teachers favorite soda root beer

Score: 16

Whats the funniest thing about procrastinating I'll tell you tomorrow

Score: 9

A woman walks into the clubhouse after nine holes... "Whats the problem ma'am?"

"I got stung by a bee"

"Where at?"

"Between the first and second hole"

"Well I'd say your stance is too wide"

Score: 6

Whats the best thing about being an abortion docter? You don't have to buy dog food.

Score: 15

Whats the difference between affection and adore? You can't slam your wife's head in affection.

Score: 9

Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear and the other was a great year

Score: 15

Know whats worse than running with scissors? Scissoring with the runs.

Score: 20

Do you know whats really odd? Any number not divisible by 2.

Score: 9

Whats the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

Score: 11

Whats the difference between a circus and a whorehouse? One has an array of cunning stunts.

Score: 14

Whats a feminist's favorite subject in school? Trigonometry.

Score: 23

Whats the difference between you and an egg? An eggs gets laid, and you don't.

Score: 13

Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never let a garbanzo bean on my face.

Score: 14

Whats the only type of Doctor most American's can afford? Dr.Pepper

Score: 34

Whats better, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

Score: 10

Whats got 2 legs and bleeds? half a cow.

Score: 8

whats black and sits at the top of the staircase? stephen hawking after a house fire

Score: 6

Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people? Dad.

Score: 16

Whats the worst thing about the new Assassin's Creed movie? You have to sign in to U-play to watch it.

Score: 25

Job interview -It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. Whats 19x17?

-36

-Thats not even close!!

-But it was quick.

Score: 42

Whats the difference between and old computer and a woman? a computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy

Score: 13

Whats the best part about dating a Black girl? You don't have to worry about meeting her Father

Score: 10

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church? A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......

Score: 44

Whats the best part about dating a black girl? You rarely have to meet their dad.

Score: 28

whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it

Score: 14

Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common? Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.

Score: 22

Whats the difference between Ebola and food? Africans get Ebola

Score: 5

hey, whats the definition of a will? come on guys, its a dead giveaway

Score: 29

Mike goes to a law consultant. He asks: So how much do you charge per question?

Consultant: 150€.

Mike: Isn't it too expensive?

Consultant: Yes it is. So whats your third question?.

Score: 11

Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory? Two test-tickles.

Score: 6

Whats the difference between a South African tourist and a racist? About a week or so

Score: 13

Ironman and Ironwoman.. Whats the difference? One's a superhero - the other's a simple instruction!

Score: 23