Hilarious Window Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Window Jokes

The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, “papers?” I said, “ Scissors, I win” and drove off.

I think he wants a re-match he’s been chasing me for 45 minutes.

Score: 20888

A cop pulls over a car with two priests. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.”

The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.

“We’ll do it.”

Score: 13723

I got pulled over by the police ... He came to the window and said papers ...

I said - scissors, I win - and drove off

He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

Score: 13541

I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full" Couldn't turn it down.

Score: 7498

Got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city.. Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.

Score: 7171

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home." One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

Score: 4668

Was walking down the street yesterday, seen an ad in the shop window. "T.V FOR SALE, €1, VOLUME STUCK ON FULL" I said, can't turn that down.

Score: 2293

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

Score: 2258

Score: 2248

Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window. If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

Score: 1839

I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said

"NOTHING"

Score: 1737

Since it started snowing, all my Girlfriend has done is stare through the window. If it gets any worse i might have to let her back in.

Score: 1447

While I was shopping, I saw an ad in a window. It said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.” There’s no way I can turn that down.

Score: 1397

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought..... “I can’t turn that down.”

Score: 1201

I saw a lady texting and driving today I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.

Score: 943

Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window If it gets any worse i'll have to let her in

Score: 942

I saw this ad in a window that said: "TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full!" I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"

Score: 860

School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Score: 853

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

Score: 805

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie? Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

Score: 794

Whoever answers my next question, can go home. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.

\*One boy throws his bag out the window.\*

Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Score: 793

What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window? The restraining order

Score: 776

Women say they want a man who is funny and spontaneous But you knock on their bedroom window at midnight in a clown costume and suddenly it's all screaming and throwing things and police helicopters.

Score: 683

Teacher asks a question Teacher: "whoever answers my next question can go home"

Jimmy throws his bag out the window

Teacher: "who just threw that?"

Jimmy: "that was me"

Score: 648

Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in

Score: 635

I saw this advert in a window that said: "Television, 1$, volume stuck on full"

I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

Score: 630

Whenever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad. Maybe I should let her in.

Score: 599

Two guys get pulled over... Two guys in a car get pulled over. The cop walks up to the window and says "We're looking for 2 pedophiles". The car window goes up then after a few seconds comes back down.
The driver gives a sigh. "Alright, we'll do it"

Score: 597

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

Score: 415

I can't get over how cruel some people are. I had some Nickelback tickets on the passenger seat of my car, and I popped into the shop for just five minutes.

When I came back, someone had smashed the window and left two more.

Score: 400

Every time it rains I find my wife standing at the window, looking kind of sad. Maybe I should let her inside.

Score: 295

On my way home from work saw a man texting while driving.. Knowing how dangerous this can be I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.

Score: 208

When ever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad. Sometimes I even let her in.

Score: 171

I was told by a female friend that I was being sexist and should look at things from a woman's perspective more often But I can't see very much from my kitchen window

Score: 164

Today, I got pulled over by a female cop. I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong.

She said "NOTHING!"

Score: 77

most clever student Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Score: 66

Who's guilty here? A wife is dreaming while asleep in the bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, "quick, my husband is home!"

Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!

Score: 65

A guy told his neighbor "Close the window when you sleep with your wife cause I saw you yesterday" His neighbor laughed and said " I wasn't even home yesterday dumbass!"

Score: 52

"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii... "You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.

"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."

Score: 40

A wife was dreaming... Suddenly she wakes up and yells "Quick get out my husband's home!" her husband hurriedly wakes up and jumps out the window.

Score: 35

New Window Jokes

I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, £2.50." I thought “Why would anyone pay to see that?”

Score: 3

I went to a expensive restaurant last night and I got a meal and a bottle of champagne for free. They do it for everyone who jumps out of the toilet window and runs off.

Score: 6

A man fell out a window and broke a bone. It was humerus.

Score: 6

What do you call 2 men with no arms and no legs hanging above your window? Curt n’ Rod

Score: 4

-Bah! I wasn't that drunk yesterday... \- Come on Dad, you threw my hamster out of the window and shouted: Pikachu! I Choose You!

Score: 3

Yesterday I heard a woman shouting on the street toward her boyfriend "All men are dogs" An old man popped his head out of the window and replied,

##"Who told you to try them all??"

Score: 22

I've had it with people texting and driving. if i see one more person on their phone while driving im going to roll my window down and throw my beer at them.

Score: 8

Every time I go through a fast food window They hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.” I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.

Score: 33

My physics teacher told me that I had a lot of potential. Then he pushed me out of the window.

Score: 5

Two cops speeding to an incident The officer driving asks his partner to check if the lights on the roof are working.

His partner sticks his head out of the window and then replies,

"......yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no......"

Score: 3

Autumn is best enjoyed in all her glory. Unfortunately, the police officers who arrested me outside her window didn't agree.

Score: 9

Why did the boy throw his TV out the window? He wanted to get the show on the road.

Score: 3

Why does a window hurt more than a table? The window is double pane

Score: 9

Im so good at guitar, That my neighbours decided to throw a brick at my window so that they could hear me better!

Score: 5

Do you know what the difference between an eightball of cocaine and a four year old child is? Eric Clapton wouldn't have let an eightball of coke fall out of a 53rd story window.

Score: 3

My Neighbors like my Music so much, that.. ....they threw a Rock into my window so they could hear it better.

Score: 3

What do you call twin boys with no arms and no legs hanging from a window? Kurt and Rod

Score: 7

How did the window know he was adopted? He had trans parents.

Score: 4

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Score: 11

I was in the kitchen when a flying insect came through the window and exploded I think it was a jihaddy longlegs

Score: 7

Cop walks up to my window and asks, "Mr. Johnson, have you been drinking"? I said, "Why, is there a fat girl in my back seat?"

Score: 7

What did the window washer say to the window? I feel your pane

Score: 28

What do you call two guys sitting on a Window Sill? Kurt n Rod

Score: 22

Man walks into a pet shop... Man walks into a pet shop and says to the woman behind the counter, "I want to buy a bee". She reply "we don't sell bees", he says, "well you've got one in the window".

Score: 3

To whoever stole my AC window unit: Keep it. It's hot where you're going

Score: 8

The dress in the window A woman went shopping on vacation and asked the store clerk, "May I try on that dress in the window?" "Well," replied the clerk, "don't you think it would be better to use the dressing room?

Score: 3

An officer pulls over a speeding blonde woman After she rolls down her window, he asks her to take out her license.

She angrily exclaims "Yesterday you guys took away my license and now you expect me to have it on me?"

Score: 30

If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with... the window open?

From my 88 year old grandma

Score: 4

Do YOU appear as water droplets? Are YOU found on grass, leaves, and window ledges in the morning?

If so, you may be dew condensation!

Score: 6

I always wanted to keep a fly as a pet. But that idea quickly went out the window.

Score: 17

What's the difference between a pound of cocaine and a baby? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a pound of coke fall out of a window

Score: 27

I got pulled over by a policeman... He came to the window and said papers...
I said 'scissors, I win!' and drove off,
He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

Score: 3

In a psychiatric guard walks in on patient throwing thing out of the window:
Guard - What are you doing?
Patient - Sending airplanes.
Guard - Where is your doctor?
Patient - He flew on the first flight.

Score: 3

A stray bullet just flew through my window and broke my monitor. I think there are better ways to take a screenshot...

Score: 5

Q & A Teacher: First one to answer the next question gets to leave early.
(Johnny immediately threw his bag out the window)
Teacher: Who threw that bag?
Johnny: I did! Bye guys!

Score: 12

What's the difference between a kilo of cocaine and a baby? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window!

Score: 4

In a new store's front window there was a hiring sign ACCOUNTANT NEEDED!

$35,000 - $40,000

An engineer sees the sign, enters the store and yells:

-There is no need for an accountant! The answer is -$5,000!

Score: 3

If a man crashes through a window and severely injures himself... ...Would you say that he's in *pane*?

Score: 7

Two nuns are driving down the road when Dracula jumps out. "Quickly," says the first, "show him your cross". The other winds down the window and leans out and yells, "Get out of the road you jerk!"

Score: 24

I was was caught speeding yesterday The police officer walked up to my window

Officer: I've been waiting for you all day

Me: I know, i came as fast as I could

Score: 19

My Neighbors like my bands music... so much they recently threw a Brick threw my Window to hear it better!

Score: 4

I broke my phone recently. I threw it out the window after turning on airplane mode. Worst transformer ever.

Score: 10

What do you call two guys holding a sheet of fabric in front of a window? Kurt and Rod.

Score: 6

I saw a baby locked in a hot car, so I threw a brick through the window. Turns out the window was down...

Score: 3

What's the difference between a pound of cocaine and a 4 year old child? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a pound of cocaine fall out the window.

Score: 21

A woman goes in to a butchers shop Lady: Is that a pigs head in your window?

Butcher: No madam, it's a mirror.

Score: 6

I wonder why dogs get mad when you blow in their faces but as soon as you put them in a car they stick their head out the window.

Score: 7

What's the difference between a bag of coke and a toddler Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of coke fall out a window

Score: 7

TIL that my neighbors really like the metal song i'm playing on my 7.1 sound system I figured because he thrown a brick at my window to hear it better !
\m/

Score: 3

Doctor & Patient Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Score: 4

Condescending A midget convict was escaping out of a window, and as he lowered himself down I was walking past, and we made eye contact and he sneered at me and I thought "that's a little condescending". (Say it out loud)

Score: 4

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window? He was a cereal defenestrator.

Score: 6

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of coke? Eric Clapton would've never let a bag of coke fall out the window

Score: 8

I left my iPhone 7 in my car seat When I came back, the car window was broken. Someone had left another iPhone 7 in my car. So not fair!

Score: 3

If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!

Score: 4

My wife likes to window-shop a lot. The situation is so bad that we have more windows than walls.

Score: 3

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Score: 3

I was driving down the motorway with my blonde girlfriend the other day and she said, "I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"
"why is that?" I said
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit rey su wohs'"

Score: 26

what's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a child? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Score: 10

I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend... and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."

So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...

"I hope this helps."

Score: 20