Work Out Jokes

Contents

Funniest Work Out Jokes

I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

Score: 368

Why do some couples not go to the gym together? Because not all relationships work out.

Score: 103

What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!

Score: 84

I tried to take my dog to the gym once But it didn't work out

Score: 48

I told my girlfriend to come with me to the gym. Then I stood her up. Hopefully, she’ll realize the two of us are not going to work out.

Score: 45

I was so excited when all my teachers called my work outstanding I haven't even handed it in yet!

Score: 37

I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her.

Bonus: It was a short relationship.

Score: 28

Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He's Dead Gym.

Score: 25

I work out at the same time every day... tomorrow.

Score: 24

I treat every day like I'm running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't work out.

Score: 24

Why don't couples go to the gym? Because most relationships don't work out.

Score: 24

Why don't couples go to the gym together? Because relationships don't work out

Score: 23

Not sure if this will work outside of Scotland... Two cows in a field, which one is on holiday?


- the one with the wee calf

Score: 22

Not every couple goes to the gym Because some relationships don't work out

Score: 20

Why didn't the feminist picnic work out? because they all refused to make sandwiches.

Score: 18

I finally found a machine at the gym that lets older guys date younger women who come to work out! They just installed an ATM in the lobby.

Score: 17

I have lots of jokes about obese people, But none of them work out

Score: 17

Blacksmith: "I'm almost done with this sword, I just need to work out the kinks." Sword: "Hit me more!"

Score: 16

A mother asks her son how things are going with his girlfriend. He replies, "It didn't work out." "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," says his mother. "What happened?"

The son looks confused.

"Huh? I just told you. She didn't exercise enough."

Score: 15

I asked my aunt how much a couple is, she said two or three Maybe that's why her relationships don't work out so well

Score: 14

I used to date an opera singer, but it didn't work out. She was all mi, mi, mi.

Score: 13

I make my girlfriend work out 5 times a week and eat healthy. I don't want her getting fat like my wife.

Score: 12

I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. But then it clicked.

Score: 12

What kind of work out do lazy people do? Diddly-squats

Score: 11

why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out? ..nobody gave a shirt.

Score: 10

Why was the new lawyer not too fond of his work outfit? He wasn't comfortable being in a lawsuit yet.

Score: 9

I'm working on a fitness routine for insects. It's going well, but I'm still trying to work out the bugs.

Score: 9

The reason my last relationship didn't work out is because she was a gemini... and I don't believe in bullshit.

Score: 8

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out.

Score: 8

I've never had a real girlfriend, besides that one in fifth grade... Didn't really work out with me being a sophomore though.

Score: 8

Tall people and Short people should never date. Long distance relationships never work out.

Score: 7

Why do some couples not go to the gym? Because some relationships just don't 'work out'

Score: 7

I went to the local gym. And asked the manager which one of these machines should I work out on to attract me a woman the fastest.

He pointed over at the ATM!

Score: 7

I'm okay with dating someone that's anti-vax I want to be child-free so it would work out either way

Score: 6

A girl once told me I was the reason she was gaining weight Needless to say we didn't work out

Score: 6

Why do some couples avoid the gym? Some relationships just don't work out.

Score: 6

Blacksmith: I've just about finished this sword, just need to work out the kinks. Sword: I like feet

Score: 5

What do you call a transformer that believes things will work out fine? Optimist Prime.

Score: 5

Where do elements work out? The oxygym

Score: 5

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day? SQUAAATS!

...Polly want a cracker.

Score: 4

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New Work Out Jokes

I'm a physicist and I went to a baseball game the other day....A foul ball got hit my way.... As the baseball came toward me, I was trying to work out how long it would take to reach me, based on its arc and velocity... And then it hit me.

Score: 4

I had an on-again, off-again relationship with a classical conductor. It didn't work out though, we could never get the timing right.

Score: 2

I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess we aren’t going to work out.

Score: 4

I once dated a daily newspaper executive, though I should have known it wouldn't work out Too many issues

Score: 0

My girlfriend and I used to go to the gym together... ...but we didn't work out.

Score: 1

I tried doing stand up comedy as a paraplegic It didn’t work out

Score: 3

Not all jokes work out That's why I'm fat.

Score: 4

What do you call a dinosaur that likes to work out? Tricepsaresore

Score: 4

I tried dating a communist once, but things didn't work out. She had no class

Score: 4

It's easier for fat people to work out ...because they always have weights on them.

Score: 1

I wanted to spend more time in the fitness center.. ..but it didn't work out.

Score: 2

A hobbyist robot builder attempted to satirize the American public by building a 300 pound hunk of metal that sat in front of the TV all day long. In the end, he had difficult maintaining it, because it didn't work out.

Score: 2

I just accepted an amazing job offer. I get to work outside, set my own hours, and I'll be getting laid pretty much all the time. Next week, I'll be catching a flight to New Zealand to start my new life as a sheep rancher.

Score: 1

I like to work out every other day. Every day but not today is the my ideal exercise plan.

Score: 1

How does Spiderman work out? Peter Parkour

Score: 1

I figured out why Jinder Mahal didn't work out as a member of 3MB He was always destined to be the lead Singher.

Score: 2

Long distance relationships are like fat people. They rarely work out.

Score: 2

What does Bruce Lee drink after a hard work out? Wa-TAH!!

Score: 4

How do possessed people work out? They exorcise

Score: 3

I work out all the time! Yeah, I've been delivering pizzas about six years now.

Score: 1

Why don't relationships for tennis players ever work out? Because love means nothing to them

Score: 4

Why don't couples go to the gym? Cause relationships don't work out

Score: 1

Why did the skeleton never make it past 2nd base with his girlfriend? Because he could never work out how to unclasp the vertebra

Score: 4

I went on a seafood diet recently, but it never seems to work out... I see food, and I eat it.

Score: 4

When did the man know it was time to dump his fat GF? When he realized it just wasn't going to work out.

Score: 4

Two guys are hanging out after a work out... ...one turns to the other and says, "Hey man, wanna make a protein shake?"

The other guy says, "Sorry bro, I'm all out of protein powder"

The first guy is shocked and says, "No Whey"

Score: 1

I would make a fitness joke But it just wouldn't work out..

Score: 4

My plan is to finish law school, and pass the bar. If that doesn't work out, I'll just open a bar and name it 'You Have Been Served'.

Score: 1

Why do engineers work out a lot? They're obsessed with rigid bodies!

Score: 3

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