Hilarious Add Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Add Jokes

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

Edit: certainly didn't expect this to get so many votes or make it to the front page.

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How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Add a nipple to it.

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Grandpa joke: What becomes shorter when you add 2 letters? Short

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What do you get if you add up all the seconds of your life? A lot of food you probably didn’t need to eat.

Score: 910

How do you make a one disappear? Add a G and it’s gone.

Haha I’m so alone

Score: 821

How do you make a water bed more bouncy? Add spring water

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Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD Its a concentration camp

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What's the good part about Naming your child? That you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

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If the camera really does add 10 pounds Do Ethiopian kids even exist?

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How many kids does it take with ADD to change a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?

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Me: "I've lost my calculator." Them: "..." Them: "..and?" Me: "Oh, I've got nothing to add"

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Do you know what to do if an epileptic has an attack in bath? Quickly add your laundry.

Score: 148

Add a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little “Nervous.” Asked the interviewer.

“No, I always give 110%”

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Where do german parents send their ADD kids? Concentration Camps

Score: 136

How will Trump add yuge amounts of manufacturing jobs? He will build alternative fact-tories

Score: 136

Math jokes never work on me I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up.

Score: 127

How do Muslims like to make their pizzas spicy? They add halalapeño.

Score: 118

Add a word to ruin a movie: - Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

Score: 97

Why does everyone add salt to their meals? It’s sodium goooood

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How do you make a water bed more bouncy You add spring water

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Add a word to ruin a movie: **- Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam.**



Your Turn :)

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You know you're ugly when.... it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
(add your own)

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How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?

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What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup? A handful of crackers.

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What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft? Data.

So he can mine it.

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Think of a number 0 to 20. Add 32 to it, then multiply your answer by 2. Subtract 2. Now close your eyes.

It's dark, isnt it?

Score: 52

I'm curious about the French flag. When did they add the blue and red stripes?

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How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone? You add a dab of glue.

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Why is Irish bean soup made with 239 beans? Because if you add even one more it gets "2 farty".

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How do you make one disappear? Add a G to the beginning and it's gone.

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Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table And add the element of surprise

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How do you make 5 pounds of fat look great? Add a nipple.

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How to add extra fun during your amusement park ride ? Carry some extra nuts and bolts with you.

as soon as the ride begins, Tap on the shoulder of the guy in front of you. Show them the nuts and bolts and ask

"Are these from your seat ? "

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What's the difference between ADD and ADHD? ADHD comes in clearer.

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I used to date a hot 95 pound gymnast with ADD I just realized she may be the best fidget spinner I'll ever get to play with...

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Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator? - She couldn't find the "10" button.

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How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp

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My cat, Schrodinger went missing I don't know if she is dead or alive.

EDIT: Forgot to add, this actually is happening right now :(

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Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia? He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy.

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New Add Jokes

I can’t understand why my calculator just stopped working. It just doesn’t add up.

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What does Trump add to his ideas to spice them up and go wild? Common sense

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If you add jelly to Flint, Michigans water supply, what do you get? Pb & J

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You can say anything and add "sir this is a bank" and it's instantly a joke. "Sir this is a bank"

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How do you make a Rock dance? Add ing to it

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Why do detectives who are really good at math get fustrated when they can't solve a case? Because things don't add up.

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I downloaded the new 8 ball add-on for Microsoft Office Now my Outlook’s not so good

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Did you know marvel was going to add Islamic superhero’s But DC already made suicide squad

Possible repost can’t remember where I heard it

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How’d you add the fun into acid attacks Give them 2 tabs

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Networking is a bit like digestion, network running slow... Add fiber

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I told my writing teacher that I was just going to add in comas after every word so I didn’t miss any... She said.”No, don’t do that.”

I answered, “You’re right, because that’s what you call a Kamikaze.”

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There's no better time to add insult to injury... ...Than when you're signing a cast :)

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I add braking fluid to my Meth So I can stop whenever I want.

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What does a Muslim add to spice up his food? A halal-peño.

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Judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison. convict: (whispers to lawyer)

lawyer: my client has requested that you add one more year.

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I bought some powdered water But I don't know what to add.
—Steven Wright

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Why didn't the guy with ADD seek help? He was going to but then he got distracted

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Why didn't the school orchestra add me to their woodwind section? It was reed only

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My community is in an uproar, because the local government wants to make stop signs bilingual. They were really worried about the cost, untill it was pointed out that all they needed to do was to add an e.

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I got fired from my job because I couldn't add 6 + 4 The position became untenable

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How do you make sports more manly? Add a second ball.

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Why did the Irishman not add one more bean to his 239 bean soup? Because it would have been too farty.

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Don't you think taking a bath is a bit tasteless? Why not add some salt in it?

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How do we get a new number? Mathematicians just add one.

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What do you add to water to make concrete? About 400 feet.

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Why should you avoid tumblr when your on a diet Because, it's full of trans fats

edit add a coma

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What kind of car is bad for a kid with ADD? A Ford Focus

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Was playing with a new animation software but forgot to add any dialogue. It rendered me speechless.

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They wanted to add Chuck Norris's face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.

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I wanted to be a Math teacher. But in the end it just didn't add up.

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I've solved every single mathematical problem! I have nothing more to add

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What do you call tea and lemonade? It depends... Just tea and lemonade is called an Arnold Palmer. If you add vodka to it, then it's called John Daly. If you drink too many John Dalys and get pulled over, it's called a Tiger Woods.

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My psychologist diagnosed me with ADD At least I think that's what she was saying.

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A Somalian general decides to make a pro military add, the first thing he says is THE ARMY NEEDS SHOES!

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New police division A police sergeant comes to commissioner's office add says:

"Boss, I would recommend creating a police division, which focus would be to restrain or suppress moral crimes."

"Good, addvice."

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How do you make golden soup? Add 24 karats

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They told me that cameras add 10 lbs... ...so I stopped eating cameras.

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Think of a number from 1 to 10. Add 13, multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark. Isn't it?

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What did Eve have to do to repent for her countless sins? Add 'em

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Just bought one of these new Brexit calculators.. ..nothing seems to add up, it just takes away and does division

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Which actor is known for his brilliance at mathematics? Add'em Sandler

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What do we want?!? A cure for ADD!
When do we want it?
Squirrel!

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What do you get if you add yeast to soup? A souprise

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Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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How do you make an Ethiopian grow? Just add water.

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How do you make Iron look rustic? You add oxygen.

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Have you heard of the new successful therapy for ADHD/ADD patients? It's called Concentration camp therapy.

(Sorry for untasteful reference)

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What can you add to a boat to make it lighter? A match

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When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math... ...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world.

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I tried to add your face to Mount Rushmore But I couldn't find a rock dumb enough

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How do you make one girl disappear? ..just add a G and now she's gone.

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Favorite stupid jokes, please add yours as well! "Did you hear about the fire at the circus?..... It was in-tents!"

Please add your dumb joke below!

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