Hilarious Addiction Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Addiction Jokes

My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.

"No it doesn't," I said.

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My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.

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A small man admitted himself to rehab with a gambling addiction It’s ok. He’s a little better.

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My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes. .. ...I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Whatever means necessary."
"No it doesn't," I said.

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My wife says she's leaving me because of my addiction to antidepressants. Won't be needing them anymore then.

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My friend with a cocaine addiction recently quit. It was the end of the line for him.

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My wife said she'll leave me if I don't overcome my poker addiction but I think she's bluffing

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Me: Can you help me get over my gambling addiction? Therapist: You bet.

Me: Yes, that’s why I asked.

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What happens when fish start an addiction to worms? They get hooked.

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Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addiction Clinic I can see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I've gotta say, I'm pretty dissapointed.

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I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix... Anybody got a punch line?

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My wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction Aaaand they're off

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It was really hard overcoming my addiction to the Hokey-Pokey... But I turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

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Twitter Addiction A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."

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I have an addiction to having lots of money in my bank account. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from withdrawals.

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Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group I see a lot of new faces around

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Why is the Dalai Lama suffering from a gambling addiction? Because he loves Tibet.

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They say one out of every seven friends has a gambling addiction. My money is on Jimmy.

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They say Hitler was driven to war because of his addiction to video games He was obsessed with Mein Kraft

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My wife just accused me of having never achieved anything in life because of my addiction to board games. I think she must have forgotten that time I won second prize in a beauty contest. . .

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Welcome to plastic surgery addiction group! I see a lot of new faces around...

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If only more game companies acted like blizzard. I could probably kick my gaming addiction.

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I kicked my rear-view mirror addiction... I'm never looking back.

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What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction? Steam.

I'm so sorry.

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My internet addiction is so bad... Its alt of ctrl.

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You guys hear about that duck with an addiction problem? He likes to smoke quack.

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I heard there's this new pill that cures addiction. Hmm, I wonder what two of them will do...

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I used to have an addiction to dirt But I've now been clean for over a year

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What do you call a Wookiee with a nicotine addiction? Chew to' bacca

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If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey.

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What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection.

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Today I beat my addiction I'm addicted to my wife.

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I came back from vacation with a serious addiction ...to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around.

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My friends keep questioning me on my mayonnaise addiction.... I said “What the Hellman?”

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My girlfriend is fed up with my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," She replied.

"No it doesn't," I corrected.

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My wife left me because of my poker addiction. It could also be a bluff.

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What do you call a duck with a drug addiction? A quack addict.

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I had an addiction to soap But I'm clean now.

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My friend told me he has a gambling addiction... ,,bet you can't quit"

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New Addiction Jokes

My friend has a brake fluid addiction He can stop whenever he wants!

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Pedophiles have lighter prison sentences than drug dealers. Their addiction is a minor one.

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I have a growing addiction of speeding through red lights There's just no signs of stopping.

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My friend Colin had this weird addiction. He'd take heroin whenever people didn't refer to him as a woman. ##

Now he's Coleen.

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After decades of fighting his terrible cigarette addiction, my grandfather finally stopped breathing

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I'm very worried about my severe coffee addiction It's been keeping me up every night

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Good news!! I beat my addiction to the hokey pokey!! I’ve officially turned myself around...

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How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction? Apply the pumpkin patch.

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What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries? Donutello

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My dad is strongly against my gambling addiction. He's no better

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What is Cocaine Addiction? Just another bump in the road

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The rate of babies born with heroin addiction has skyrocketed to a number almost as high as those babies.

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I used to be have a hardcore addiction to brake fluid... but now I can stop whenever I want to

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It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey. But I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about.

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My family is talking to me about my meme addiction. They're trying to make me go to REEEEEEEEEhab.

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You know what's worse than bad breath? Heroin addiction.

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I heard they opened up a rehab center for phone addiction Anyone know their number?

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My addiction to computer gaming started when my family bought a PC in the 90's... I guess that was my Gateway drug.

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I've gone to see Wonder Woman five times now I have a heroine addiction

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"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot..." "...No one's going to feed my cocaine addiction."

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What did the train driver say when he decided to get over his drug addiction? I need to get my life back on track

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What do you call the main actress who suffers drug addiction? The Heroin.

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What do you call a Transformer with an Amazon addiction? Shoptimus Prime!

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When I started dating my girlfriend I was worried about telling her I had addiction, I used to eat dry crackers all day long It was hard to swallow but she stood by me and helped me through it

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I tried to tell my friend that I think she has a gambling addiction. I only got a few words out before she interrupted me, "Yeah, I'll bet you do!"

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Somone suggested I beat my opiate addiction by switching to oxycodone... ...I called them an oxymoron.

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If the Amazon CEO had a pill addiction, what should his nickname be? Jeff Benzos

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My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't.

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My alcohol addiction was so bad i used to drink hand sanitiser! Im clean now!

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My friend told me he had an addiction to refridgerated deli meats I told him he needs to quit cold turkey

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What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of? Addiction

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I told a friend's he has a gaming addiction All he said was "LoL WoW"

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Doctor i've come in because i have a heroin problem Patient: "Doctor, I've come in because i have a heroin problem."

Docor: "Ah, so you're ready to admit your addiction, and seek treatment right?"

Patient: "No i can't find a decent vein to shoot up with."

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I had a soap addiction. Its okay though I'm clean now.

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I can't stop watching the Hunger Games movies... ...I have a heroine addiction.

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