Hilarious Aids Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Aids Jokes

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!" Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.

Score: 1882

A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!" The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male."

They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS"

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What kind of STD's do fish get? Merm-aids

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There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

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Patient: "Gimme the bad news first!" Doctor: "You have AIDS."

Patient: "What's the good news?"

Doctor: "You have alzheimer's."

Patient: "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS."

Score: 209

What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised

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I thought I would go and help out in Africa ...turns out they have enough aids.

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What do you call a sugar daddy with HIV? Financial AIDS

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A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting

“What do we want?”

“Hearing aids!”

When do we want them?”

“Hearing aids!

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Ever hear the joke about the baby with aids? Aww, man. It *never* gets old.

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Hear about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old...

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My doctor told my that I need to start wearing condoms on my ears when I go to sleep That way I don’t get hearing aids

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"What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

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Which STD is transmitted through sound? Hearing aids

Score: 93

Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases One kid wrote:

1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /

The teacher asked what's '/' ?

Student replied it's a stroke.

Score: 82

I have AIDS and Alzheimer's Thank goodness I don't have AIDS

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A man says he can detect HIV just by listening To it He calls the Programm "Hearing Aids"

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How was the first ever HIV patient treated. With a first aids kit.

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My doctor said he could give me some aids for my erectile dysfunction. I told him that didn't sound like a good trade.

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Have you heard the one about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Life expectancy of AIDS patients can be 30-40 years. No wonder all the africans want to get it, it could triple the length of their lives.

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Three men with hearing aids are walking down the street One of them says,
"Brr, it's windy today, ain't it?"
The second man responds,
"No, it's Thursday you idiot."
The last one says,
"Me too, let's go get a drink."

Score: 37

If you're African you will get this: (WARNING: racist) AIDS

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I was pretty sure my girlfriend didn’t have AIDS... but now I’m positive.

Score: 36

What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results

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Get AIDS from a toilet seat A patient says, Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat?

The doctor replies, Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up.

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What's the difference between having AIDS and having kids? Everyone considers you a hero if you beat AIDS.

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People think listening to a really great song and having an eargasm is great Thats until you get hearing aids

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What should you do if your Wife tells you that she has AIDS? Act surprised.

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I slept with a bank manager and got financial aids

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John: Doctor I heard you can get AIDS in the public toilets. Is this true? Doctor: I mean... yeah, but it's uncomfortable.

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What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row

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Did you hear the one with the baby that had AIDS? Never gets old.

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What has aids and flies? Africa.

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I keep telling my Grandma that she needs hearing aids... ...but she just won't listen.

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What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS? Acting surprised.

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Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you this but you have AIDS Patient: Well I want a 2nd opinion.
Doctor: Ok sure, you're ugly as well.

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New Aids Jokes

So my ex called me this morning, and said “Jason, I have aids.” And I called her back and said, “I know.”

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What did I get when I asked for a letter at the end of my aid? AIDS

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How does Earvin Johnson, not have aids?! IT’S “MAGIC” BABY!!

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Doctor: you need to get hearing aids for your ears me: what

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- My new hearing aids are so good, they've restored my hearing to its full potential - That's awesome, how long have you had them?
- About 200$

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Did you hear about those new hearing aids? They're something to shout about

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Prince Harrry & Meaghan title change They should do more for HIV AIDS prevention and use the title Duke and Duchess of SafeSex.

I had to suss out Suss.

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If only aids was a little bit more like a salmon If we’d smoke it, it would be cured

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A hooker called me the other day I'm not old or anything but I now have hearing aids

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Have you heard of the AIDS challenge? you try AIDS... Then you try living with it

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Magic Johnson walks into the mirror portion of a fun house... Visual Aids.

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Tell them I died because of aids... Dad: Son when I finally die, tell them that I died because of aids.
Son: Why aids dad? You're dying becuase of cancer!
Dad: So that when i die nobody would date your mom! She is now wearing skimpy shorts I aint even dead yet!

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My Grandma told me all her friends had AIDS... I told her I was sorry for them and she asked me to speak up.

She too had AIDS,

\*hearing aids\*

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What type of AIDS do Rock Stars get? BAND AIDS!

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What do you get after listening to Ear rape? Hearing AIDS!

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A horse walks into a bar "Why the long face"

I have aids

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What did the hiv infested group of singers give to the groupie? Band Aids

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What's a vampire's greatest weakness? AIDS

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My uncle just died of AIDs... I should probably get myself checked out

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What kind of disease can you get from learning? Training aids.

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Read a story recently about a guy who went deaf as a result of having acquired immune deficiency syndrome. He had hearing aids.

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Why do you not want someone to get AIDS in a communist country Because then they'll have to share it with everyone

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My friend with Aids is all about saving the planet. I told him, you couldn't even save Uranus.

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What should you do if your Wife tells you she has AIDS? Act surprised.

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All elderly people have AIDS Hearing aids, band-aids, and Rol-aids

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I found out how to turn a fruit into a vegetable. AIDS.

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I have an AIDSheimer disease Every time I have a one night stand I forget I have AIDS.

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What's the difference between AIDS and lemonades? My son died of AIDS.

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With all this negative talk about Africa I thought I would mention something positive about the people there... Their AIDS test results

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Sharing earbuds and headphones spreads disease How do you think I got hearing aids?

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "why the long face?"

The horse replies, "I have AIDS"

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What does Charlie Sheen do when life gives him lemons? He gives them lemon-aids

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So Magic Johnson is now the President of Basketball Operations for the Lakers... And apparently it was out of line for me to ask if he is running it on his own or if he has aids.

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At this point... AIDS is worried about testing positive for Trump.

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What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine? A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

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If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids.

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Who'll miss George Michael most? His aids

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You are just like Magic Johnson. But without the basketball skills or the height or actually being anything like him, you just have AIDS.

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Forest Gump ruined dating for me... He was a war hero, Olympian, and millionaire but the best he could settle down with was a druggie burnout with AIDS and daddy issues

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Last week somebody came in my ear now I have hearing AIDS.

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Did you hear the one about the sexually promiscuous citrus fruit? He got lemon aids.

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The hardest tests are the ones you don't study for because you have AIDS

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I told my grandpa he should wear his hearing aids but he won't listen

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