Hilarious Angry Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Angry Jokes

Score: 21418

An angry wife says to her husband " I should've married the devil he would've made a better husband than you!" The husband responds "you would've been arrested because marriage between relatives is illegal in this country"

Score: 13025

I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 9322

Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of "Postmen" They get really angry

Score: 5317

I've just bought a thesaurus but all the pages are blank I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 3547

10 years ago today, I married my best friend My wife’s still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea

Score: 2301

If you rearrange all the letters of POSTMEN You will get them VERY ANGRY

Score: 2254

My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping... ...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...

Score: 1818

I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 1512

I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger

Score: 1178

Was sleeping in my girlfriend's house last night and her dad wouldn't let us sleep in the same bed I was really angry because he is actually really handsome

Score: 1144

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk

Score: 1067

The next time your wife gets angry... put a cape (or bath towel) over her shoulders then tell her: "Now, you're Super Angry!"

Maybe she'll laugh...or maybe you'll die.

Score: 999

Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words? A cussomer.

Score: 793

I bought a thesaurus but when I got home I discovered that all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 701

What is the one type of person that will never get angry? A nomad.

Score: 666

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry. I just sit there, shaking my fist.

Score: 601

I bought a thesaurus at a store today. Brought it home to find all the pages were blank... I have no words to describe how angry I am

Score: 517

Just found out that 'aaaaarrrrggghhhh' isn't a real word I can't tell you how angry I am

Score: 492

There's only one type of person who never gets angry... A nomad.

Score: 446

Next time your wife is angry, drape a towel over her shoulders.... ... and say, now you're super angry.

Maybe she laughs.

Maybe you die.

Score: 419

I just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out all the pages are blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 413

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people. Working in customer service already did that.

Score: 359

10 years ago I married my best friend. My wife is still really angry about it. But me and Dave were drunk and thought it was funny

Score: 336

My roommates get angry when I steal their kitchen utensils But frankly, thats a whisk I'm willing to take.

Score: 329

If you rearrange the letters of Postmen They become very angry.

Score: 323

Just found out that ‘Aaarrrrggghhh’ is not a real word. I can’t even tell you how angry I am.

Score: 317

Just bought a thesaurus and when I looked, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!

Score: 311

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant... Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.

Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

Score: 269

I get so angry when I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt. I just can’t take it.

Score: 267

Flat Earthers It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

Score: 207

I told my gf the world was flat and she became angry with me I told her she was my world and she got angrier

Score: 114

I was relaxing in a Jacuzzi when my wife pointed a finger at me and gave me a really angry look... ... I knew I was in hot water.

Score: 97

My husband is like the New York subway... He makes me angry, frustrated, and late for work but I still can't help but ride him every day.

Score: 96

A Rastaman with a bag full of marijuana walks into a bank... and hands it to a cashier. The angry cashier asks 'Sir, what is this...?' The rasta replies "Wa yah ask foolish question, mi come to open a joint account!!"

Score: 83

What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry? Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

Score: 72

What do you call an angry Muslim in Ramadan? Fastin' Furious

Score: 72

Some one has stolen my thesaurus. I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.

Score: 72

So did you hear about the Angry composer? Apparently, he had a few scores to settle.

Score: 70

The dictionary I ordered on eBay had only blank pages I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 69

New Angry Jokes

What’s worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Being mercilessly beaten over the head by an angry mob.

Score: 3

I forgot it there was a tropical dress code, today at work. I showed up in a heavy raincoat. My boss (who was angry with me): What the heck Johnson! Didn't you get my email on the dress code?



Me: I take it you've never been to a tropical rain forest.

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus? An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.

(The joke about the man and the egg reminded me of this).

Score: 8

Scotland is a place filled with angry people. Even their flag is cross.

Score: 4

I feel like with all this political stuff going on, its become popular with a lot of people to be angry all the time. Some might say its all the rage.

Score: 4

I dug a trench around my desk at work today, complete with running water, but the boss got really angry and made me fill it in… Can't believe I've been demoated…

Score: 4

Why was the farmer angry? Because his cows put him in a bad moooo’d.

Score: 8

An angry woman on her period... Is clearly ovarie-acting

Score: 3

So there’s 3 tomato’s .. ... Papa Tomato, Momma Tomato and Baby Tomato walking along the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato starts getting really angry. So, he turns around and squishes Baby Tomato and says, 'Ketchup.'

Score: 3

My wife got angry at me because I didn’t hold the door open for her ....Well I was trying to swim to the surface

Score: 10

How do you stop an angry mob of clowns? Go for the juggler.

Score: 3

I get angry when my cellphone battery dies My therapist suggested that I find an outlet.

Score: 11

my thesaurus got here yesterday. But when I opened it, it was blank inside. I have no words for how angry I am.

Score: 39

I posted a picture of an angry Pepe on /r/dankmemes But the mods deleted it because it was a REEEEE post.

Score: 8

Minesweeper It's either a computer game or an angry German custodian yelling at kids who stole his broom.

Score: 61

The birds fighting outside remind me of Donald Trump... No matter how angry they get, the most they can muster is angry sounding tweets.

Score: 3

Who are the least angry people on Earth? Nomads.

Score: 64

I was once chased by a group of angry feminists Luckily there was a flight of stairs so I was able to get out of their grasp

Score: 6

I made a joke about the plane crash that had no survivors in it to my wife She got angry at me and called me insensitive.

I told her, "you had to be there"

Score: 33

So I finally decided to introduce my girlfriend to my family. Goddamnit how angry my wife was.

Score: 3

A vegetarian was very angry with her son, who became a butcher. She's got a lot of beef right now.

Score: 12

What do you call an angry ear? Earitated

Score: 3

Why do men prefer dogs to women? If you get angry with a dog, and lock it outside in the cold for half an hour while you calm down, the dog will be pleased to see you when you let it back in.

Score: 4

I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.

Score: 24

What do you call a letter from angry feminists? Hate male.

Score: 20

Kid: I played with grandpa today! Mom *angry*: I told you not to dig in the sandbox!

Score: 41

The difference between an angry woman and a terrorist is that sometimes you can negotiate with the terrorist.

Score: 46

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. Mama tomato, Papa tomato and Baby tomato.
Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Papa tomato gets really angry. He walks back to Baby tomato, squishes him and says:
"Ketchup!"

Score: 3

My wife says I have a problem with alcohol abuse. I politely told her I don't. I managed to stay calm and kiss her goodnight even though I was getting so angry.

When she went to bed I punched my bottle of Jack Daniels.

Score: 6

You woman gotta' realise, making us sleep on the couch ain't that bad... It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping. With an angry bear nearby.

Score: 68

I ate some shepherd's pie today ...he seemed pretty angry about it.

Score: 34

When a donkey is angry in traffic, what does he do? He honks

Score: 14

What do you call an angry pea? A Grump-pea.

Score: 7

What's another name for an angry transvestite? A cross dresser.

Score: 8

Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.

Happy May 4th

Score: 16

Please don't call me Sir. The last guy that called me Sir was really angry. And all he could scream was. ....

"Sir!!!! Sir!!!! Stop resisting! "

Score: 3

Last time I asked for a cavity search.... My dentist got really angry and threw me out of his office

Score: 3

Did you hear about the angry gymnast? She just flipped.

Score: 3

What do you call it when a redhead gets angry? Ginger snap.

Score: 5

Words cannot describe how angry i am Ever since i lost my dictionary

Score: 3

Why wasn't the physicist angry after he got hit by a car? Because he knew that he hit the car as hard as it hit him.

Score: 16

My brother got sent to jail He wasn't taking it very well, and got quite angry. He started destroying houses in my street and finally stopped when he got to the hotel.

That's the last time I play monopoly with him.

Score: 3

My now angry wife asked me how much I thought she weighed, and I knew it was over 200, but instead I said: "A hundred and plenty?"

Score: 3

My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sister's panties. It didn't help that they were still on her.

Or that their whole family was watching.

This made the rest of the funeral quite awkward.

Score: 51

What do you call an angry, white supremacist? A saltine cracker.

Score: 6

There was a very angry bodybuilder psychologist He had Freud rage

Score: 3

Why was the steel angry? Because it lost it's temper.

Score: 16

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

Score: 11

My angry wife controls everything. She even said I had to stop eating candy at work... ... so I had to fire her

Score: 2

Bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find all the pages blank I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Score: 14

I was impersonating a flamingo in public, My girlfriend told me to stop. I was so angry that I had to put my foot down.

Score: 2

My roommate gets angry when I steal their kitchen utensils It's a whisk I'm willing to take

Score: 58

What would you rather be stamped on by a herd of elephants or an angry woman in high heels... At least the elephants you could reason with

Score: 2

Tardiness makes me extremely angry. As my late wife found out.

Score: 5

An angry cell walks into a bar... Smoking a cigarette the cell orders a drink.
When the barman turns around the cells were three. "Tumor!"

Score: 2

What do angry beavers build? DAMNITS!

Score: 6

How do You Tell if a Woman is a Feminist If the boring clothes, weight problem, lack of makeup or angry demeanour doesn't give it away, she'll tell you within 2 minutes.

Score: 3

They cloned a man without his permission. Was he angry? He was just beside himself.

Score: 8

How do you make a feminist angry You don't, they come that way

Score: 9

What do you call an angry Russian? Pissdov

Score: 3