Anniversary Jokes

My wife asked for something shiny that goes from 0 - 200 in five seconds or less for our anniversary... I bought her a scale. We're still not speaking.

I'm 36, and last night when I was out with my 19 year old girlfriend someone yelled "Paedophile!" That really ruined our 10 year anniversary.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled "paedophile!" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

Husband: "I'm getting you diamonds for our anniversary" - Wife: "Nothing would please me more" Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*

How do you remember your wedding anniversary? Forget it once.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend and everyone was calling me a pedo because she is 21 and I'm 65... Totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

Our anniversary is coming up, so my wife told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She will love this pack of playing cards.

For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii... ...and for our 26th I plan to go back and get her.

My girlfriend called me a peedo I was having dinner with my girlfriend, and she called me a peedo. Sure, she's 18 and I'm 31, but that's not a big age gap right? Totally ruined our 10 year anniversary...

I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom. Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

Husband: I'm getting you diamonds for our anniversary Wife: Nothing will please me more

Husband: Gets her nothing instead

My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a 'paedo' and a 'cradle snatcher.' All because I'm a 52 year old man with a 21 year old girlfriend. It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary meal.

Happy Anniversary! Husband- Happy Anniversary honey!
Husband- I was just remembering how happy we were 30 yrs ago.
Wife- You idiot, we did not know each other 30 years ago.
Husband- That's why we were so happy!

Happy anniversary to the love of my life.. and her husband Jonathan.

My buddy said, "It's me and my wife's tenth wedding anniversary next weekend, so I thought we could go somewhere really nice together." I replied, "Sounds good to me! What're you going to tell your wife though!?"

My girlfriend is in a band My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.

It was a cymbal of my love.


I hope this is an original joke.

I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill! Unfortunately, it was from Fendi, for a pair of shoes.

A joke my grandpa told me that I always laugh at, even though it's super cheesy. My grandpa was telling me about how his and my grandma's anniversary was coming up. He told me they'd been together so long, they were on their second bottle of tabasco.

I want to get married on September 11th... That way I'll never forget my anniversary

My 35 year old friend and his 22 year old girlfriend had their meal out completely ruined by strangers judging them for their age gap. It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.

Everyone at the restaurant we were dining at were disgusted when they found out I was 45 and my wife was 20... It completely ruined our ten year anniversary.

My wife says I never take out the trash. I disagree. We just had our anniversary dinner last week.

My wife and I've been happily married for 3 years. Today is our 10th anniversary.

I was at a job interview... I was at a job interview and the boss asked me where I saw myself in 5 years and I said celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me this question.

R.I.P Mitch Hedberg

I bought my wife a refrigerator for our anniversary. It's not the best present, but I can't wait for her face to light up when she opens it.

Being a 40 year old man, people started scolding me when I took out my 18 year old girlfriend for dinner I got called all sorts: creep, perv etc. I have to say, it really ruined our 10th anniversary together

I was going to tell you guys an anniversary joke But I forgot it

Even though we're nearing the 100th year anniversary of Buffalo Bill's death... ...can we still call it bison-tennial?

My co-worker is getting married today, 2/29/2016. He figured this way he would only have to celebrate his wedding anniversary once every four years.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night Locals were shouting "pehopile" and other names at me,just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

In honor of the 30 year anniversary of the Challenger explosion. What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

I took my wife to Hawaii for our 25th wedding anniversary. You know what I did for our 50th? Went back and got her.

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a year since Harambe died. For the anniversary of his death, Cincinnati Zoo should have a sale. Discount for Harambe

My girlfriend dumped me 5 days before our one year anniversary I guess you could say we made it full circle

I asked my wife what she wants for our anniversary… Where the heck am I supposed to get the last 10 years of her life back?

An old friend recently had his 62nd wedding anniversary... He told me it didn't last long enough. "Only 60 seconds", he said.

My wife and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant for our anniversary. The food was great, but the service was terrible. We had to wait 30 minutes to have our water refilled. Granted, the waitress had to walk six miles.

Do you know what the gift theme is for the 27th anniversary of being married? Concrete.