Anxiety Jokes

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks

Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety it'll leave me too.

Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety pills? To prevent Hispanic attacks

Why does Donald Trump need anxiety medication? To prevent hispanic attacks.

Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety medication? To prevent Hispanic attacks.

I've been trying to put a finger on what's causing my anxiety... But my boss doesn't like to be touched.

Being a comedian is really bad for my anxiety Whenever I’m on stage people keep laughing at me

To everyone out there suffering from anxiety: you are not alone. There's someone behind you.

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense.

I have a great joke about social anxiety. Who am I kidding? You'll hate it.

A Russian doctor is treating his patient. *"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*

*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*

A man with anxiety accidentally annoyed the cartel He began seeing a psychiatrist because of hispanic attacks.

Now that weed is legal in California, I don't need my Xanax prescription anymore. I was always suffering from chronic anxiety I was about to be arrested for illegal possession.

I want to join an anxiety club... But I'm afraid they won't accept me.

“You are what you eat” I don’t remember eating anxiety and back problems

Nothing gives me more anxiety than riding shotgun through a mountain underpass. Think I've got Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

What do most legos have? Separation anxiety

Life has never given me lemons It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people

Some people drink right before flying to deal with preflight anxiety. [I drink ALOT the night before. I'm so hungover, dying doesn't seem that bad of an idea.]

My wife just left me because of my anxiety and paranoia. Nevermind, she just returned from the shops.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." -FDR "Exactly." -everyone with anxiety

I got my medical marijuana card because I have terrible anxiety over where I'm going to get my next bag of weed

I have separation anxiety I can't see myself without it

Why do pedophiles have social anxiety? Because they have a hard time fitting in

I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack. My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

I deal with my anxiety disorder the same way I study for tests. I don't

I actually had anxiety for so long I went to a psychiatrist. And I said to the guy, 'I'm constantly anxious. What do I do?' He told me I had obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I was shocked. I had to call him nine times to make sure he was certain.

The doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. I was worried shitless.

As someone with social anxiety, I must say ... Er, uhm ... Uuuh, I'll send you a text later.

Whenever I get high with friends, my anxiety kicks in I hate rock climbing

Couldn't find the stress ball I got to help me with my anxiety Turned out it went to see a therapist.

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety? Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Last year I founded a Anxiety Society at uni It ended after the first week when no one showed up

How are people with anxiety like smoke detectors that go off while cooking? You know it's not an emergency, but they don't!

I live in the state of CA Constant Anxiety

Only 90's kids will get this! Crippling depression and social anxiety

Because of my social anxiety, I prefer to do things with very little people around me. It makes me feel better being taller than everyone else.

What do you call it when a commander becomes nervous? General anxiety

There was a massive social anxiety awareness rally recently Nobody showed up