Butcher Jokes

A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"

I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks are too high".

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef. The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

Old Soviet Joke Little Boy: What will Communism be like when perfected?

His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.

Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat?

His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."

At a First Date Conversation At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day!”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher.”

My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day... He brought her out and said,

"meet patty"

The butcher backed up... The butcher backed up to the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

My butcher is very rude I asked him for a cut of pork and he gave me the cold shoulder

Not quite what she was expecting... Guy: I work with animals every day!

Girl: That's so sweet! Are you a vet or a pet shop own-

Guy: I'm a butcher.

What's the difference between a security guard and a butcher? One stays awake, the other weighs a steak

A black women named betty goes to a butcher shop. Betty: Can I get a half pound of beef?

Butcher: No Black Betty, ham or lamb.

My first date Me: "I work with animals every day."

She: "Ohh, how sweet! What is it that you do?"

Me: "Im a butcher."

David Cameron Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".

At a first date... At a first date:


He: “I work with animals every day!”


She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”


He: “I’m a butcher.”

My friend is a German butcher He always tells me the wurst jokes.

I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals. I said, "I work with animals every day."


She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"


I replied, "I'm a butcher!"

What's the difference between a night watchman and a butcher? One stays awake, the other weighs a steak.

There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital... ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst.

I bet my butcher £50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks are too high".

If you got a butcher who is 6'2, what does he weigh? Meat.

What do you call the knight who is also a butcher? Sir Loin

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

A butcher is 6ft tall, and wears size 10 shoes, what does he weigh? Meat

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

Did you hear about the butcher that backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into a meat grinder? Apparently he got a little behind in his orders.

Did you hear about that butcher who backed into his meat grinder? Needless to say, he got a little behind in his work..

I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high.

What's the difference between a butcher and an insomniac? One of them stays awake, and the other weighs a steak.

A man tells a butcher “I bet you 1,000 dollars that you can’t reach up and touch your that beef hanging up there” The butcher replies, “I’m not betting that, the stakes are too high”

A vegetarian was very angry with her son, who became a butcher. She's got a lot of beef right now.

An African woman named Betty went to a butcher and asked for beef. The butcher replied, "No, black Betty! Ham or lamb."

Why did the butcher get fired? He kept playing with his meat in front of the customers.

An African woman named Betty entered a butcher shop and asked if they had beef. Butcher: "No, black Betty! Ham or lamb!"

What did the butcher do after he forgave the thief? He let him off the hook.

A woman goes in to a butchers shop Lady: Is that a pigs head in your window?

Butcher: No madam, it's a mirror.

The Butcher What happened when the Butcher backed up into his meat grinder?


He got a little behind in his work.

My antisocial brother just got fired from his job at the butcher. He just wasn't meating enough people..