Carrot Jokes

What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law

Astute Diagnosis A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."

The principle difference's between Murphy's law and Cole's law Murphy's law postulates that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Cole's law primarily consists of thinly shredded cabbage, carrot and mayonnaise.

What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store? Picking his nose

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! :)

My baby girl came up with this and most of the laughter just comes from her ecstatic joy of saying it.

Dave: Excuse me, sir, is this carrot genetically modified? Clerk: No, why do you ask?

Carrot: No, really, why do you ask?

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks. The doctor replies “Well it looks like you’re not eating right.”

Cake day post: What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

What's orange, and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

A man goes to his doctor because he has a carrot in his ear.. He asks the doctor, "I don't understand, how can this happen? What's wrong with me?!" The doctor pauses for a moment and then says, "Well, you're not eating right."

What's the difference between a carrot and an antivax kid? One grows in the ground, the other goes in the ground

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose. He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."

So a guy walks into the doctor's office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril... He mumbles to the doctor "I think there's something wrong." to which the doctor replies "I don't think you're eating right."

Here's one from my 8 yr old neice What's invisible and smells like a carrot?

Rabbit farts!

What's orange and sounds a like a parrot? A carrot

Two rabbits are eating carrots ...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."

Witty Answer from a Four Year Old Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".

MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose? One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What did the religous carrot say to the cabbage? Peas be with you.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

My 7 year old sister just told me this Friend: Why do people call you a carrot?

Me: Because I do not *carrot* all

What did the carrot say to the DJ? Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Some people don't like vegetable puns... but I don't carrot all about their opinions.

What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 24 carrot

Walked in on my cousin pleasuring herself with a carrot today... I was mad because I had planned on eating that later, now it’s just gonna taste like carrots..

I'm directing a film... ... And starring in it, as a shaggy groundskeeper from Northern New England who leads midnight raids on the estate's garden.

I'm the main character, mane caretaker, Maine carrot-taker.

What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

I was going to tell a vegetable joke But I wasn't sure if you would carrot all.

What's the difference between a fortune teller and a farmer with retarded bunnies One deals with tarot cards while the other deals with carrot tards.

My friend made a flute out of a carrot... It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.

My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? **A carrot.**




Hahahaha and no, I'm not a dad.

How do you catch a rabbit? Lie in a field and make carrot noises.

Thanks, I'll grab my coat.

What did the farmer say to the excited vegetables? Don't get carrot away!

How to know if a rabbit is depressed? He no longer carrot all about his life

Why was the snowman so upset? Because somebody had stolen his nose and the police didn't carrot all!

A man walks into the hospital with a carrot up his nose... ...and a banana in his ear. He is clearly distraught and asks the doctor what's wrong with him.

"It's simple," the doctor says. "You're not eating right."

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot ? A carrot