Hilarious Chair Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Chair Jokes

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

Score: 17182

"Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn’t breathe?” “You’re not fooling me dad, a chair!”

“Not this time, your dog died.”

Score: 10462

A murderer is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request. The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

Score: 9671

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to start an electric chair? 13, but #9 will shock you!

Score: 6061

Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair...... ....what happens next will shock you."

Score: 2594

"Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?" "Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"

"Not this time. Our dog died."

Score: 1755

A girl in a restaurant asked me "Are you single?". I happily replied "Yes" She took away the extra chair in front of me.

Score: 1046

A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant,"Are you single?" I Happily I replied," Yes...."

She took away the extra chair in front of me.

Score: 1037

A dad asks his son, "What has four legs but isn't alive?" The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!"

"Not this time son, our dog is dead"

Score: 847

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

Score: 650

Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair? Because they can't stand up for themselves.

Score: 620

A man says to his son: "Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe"?" "You're not fooling me dad, a chair!!"

"Not this time, your dog died."

Score: 455

My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to use the chair lift to go upstairs. It is driving him up the wall.

Score: 349

The court has decided you guilty of clickbait and has sentenced you to death by the electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you

Score: 284

Dad: What has 4 legs and isn’t alive? Me: You can’t fool me dad! Its a chair!

Dad: Not this time son. Get a shovel, the dog’s dead

Score: 222

When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me She had to - we only had one chair

Score: 217

Helen Keller walks into a bar Then into a chair

Then into a table

Score: 162

I was dining alone at a restaurant one evening. In the middle of my meal, a very pretty woman of about 25 came to my table and asked, "Are you single?"

I smiled and nodded.

She took the other chair and brought it back to her table.

Score: 153

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheel chair I know she'll come crawling back

Score: 144

I recline my chair, Aaaahhh... That takes me back.

Score: 135

“Hey son, what has four legs and doesn’t breathe?” Son: “Haha you can’t fool me this time dad! A chair.”

Dad: “No son, our dog died.”

Score: 132

My son came home from school and I immediately asked him: "Hey son, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?"

"Dad, you told me that one yesterday" he said, looking annoyed. "It's a chair."

"Not this time son...the mailman ran over your dog today."

Score: 130

A priest asks the murderer at the electric chair.... -"Do you have any last requests?”

-"Yes,can you please hold my hand?"

Score: 127

Score: 123

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb? 14,000.

1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

Score: 117

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. “Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”

Score: 111

A priest asked a convicted murderer at the electric chair: "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replied the murderer "will you please hold my hand?"

Score: 108

I went to the dentist. I sat down in the chair and he said, "Open up for me..."

"OK," I said, "my parents don't love me very much."

Score: 97

I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday... But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.

Score: 96

Are you single A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant,"Are you single?"

Happily I replied," Yess....."

She took away the extra chair in front of me.

Score: 85

A woman goes to the dentist.... and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."

Score: 82

You have been charged guilty for clickbait, and will now have to use the electric chair What happens next will shock you

Score: 55

Criminal on the electric chair. The officer ask: Any last wishes? The criminal: Please hold my hand...

Score: 37

Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful" Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
.

.

.

.

Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."

Score: 35

Judge: "You have been found unanimously guilty of using clickbait, and I sentence you to death by electric chair." What happens next will shock you.

Score: 33

So Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

Score: 30

My dad asked me: "Son, what has four legs and doesn't breathe?" I said "You're not fooling me again dad, a chair"

He answered "No, your dog died"

Score: 25

Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

Score: 19

Dad: "Hey son, what has four legs and doesn't breathe?" Son: "Haha, you can't fool me again Dad! A chair!"
Dad: "Not this time, son. Our dog died."

Score: 16

Tomorrow I'm tying the knot! And kicking the chair.

Score: 15

New Chair Jokes

An Aussie wins a game of chess and calls for the bill, then his friend collapses in his chair. He says: “Checkmate. Check, mate” then Checks his mate

Score: 3

A pretty woman came up to me in a restaurant and asked if i was single I smiled happily and answered "yes"

she took the extra chair away from my table.

Score: 6

I took my boyfriends wheel chair away Well look who’s crawling back .

Score: 3

I saw a kid at my school who didn't stand up for the National anthem I went to him and kicked him right out of his wheel chair

Score: 4

What do you call a witty person in a wheel chair? A quipple

Score: 9

A man blind man walks into a bar And a table and a chair and…

Score: 4

My wife brought a new chair home. It's not sitting well with me.

Score: 2

[Spoiler] Game of Thrones spoiler ahead It's too bad that the Iron Throne was destroyed.

Good thing the new king comes with his own chair.



But honestly, the real joke is thinking anyone will look at this joke with a title like that.

Score: 2

What country makes the best rocking chairs? Moroccan chair

Score: 3

My girlfriend just broke up with me, so I stole her wheel chair... Guess who came crawling back

Score: 5

Since i got fat, the only thing that goes down on me... ...is the computer chair in my office

Score: 5

What kind of chair did Elvis Presley sit in? A rock-king chair

Score: 2

A blind man walked into a library And a table and a chair and people.

Score: 6

What's the most difficult thing about cooking vegetables? Getting them out of the wheel chair.

Score: 2

What do you call two people in a wheel chair? A pair of plegics.

Score: 3

I met a man in prison who said he was a conductor... I found this especially true when I saw him on the electric chair

Score: 9

To replace the lightbulb I could either stand on a chair or get a small ladder... I chose the latter

Score: 3

A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt in his hand. He puts the asphalt on the chair next him and says to the bartender: “One beer for me and one for the road.”

Score: 10

I was sitting in a restaurant when... A beautiful girl approached me and asked if I was single.

"Yes", I replied and she happily took the chair.

Score: 5

A priests asks a convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?” "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

Score: 14

A blind man walks into a bar And into a table,and into a chair,and people

Score: 3

Hellen Keller walked into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

Score: 7

I was sitting in a restaurant. A girl came to me and asked me if I was single... I smiled and happily answered "yes I am!

So she took the chair that was in front of me and went back to her table with it..."

Score: 3

Yesterday, when my girlfriend came home, I said:: "Hi, Sweetie! I've got another riddle for you. What has four legs, and doesn't move?"
She answered: "That's easy... A chair!"
-"Wrong! It's your sweet Corgi-dog..."

Score: 2

What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit

Score: 3

My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war... He fell off his chair.

Score: 3

An old lady went to visit her dentist When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."

Score: 2

A Seriously Ill Man is on Death Row He is led to the electric chair and asked if he has any last words.

"Good news!" He says, "The doctor told me I'm gonna live!"

Score: 3

[Walks into a bar] Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walk into a bar. Then they both walk into a wall. Then Stevie walks into a chair. You can probably see where this is going... too bad they can't.

Score: 8

Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller walk into a bar Stevie wonder and Hellen Keller walk into a bar. Then they both walk into a wall. Then Stevie walks into a chair. You can probably see where this is going... too bad they can't.

Score: 5

Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table, then a chair.

Score: 10

I used to date a girl in a wheelchair She broke up with me because I kept asking if that chair was taken

Score: 4

I dated a girl in a wheel chair once. it was a tough relationship tho. Have you ever heard the saying "If you love her then let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be"?

Well don't let her go on a hill by a lake, cause she don't come back

Score: 15

I'd tell you this joke I have about a chair... ...but I'm just going to sit on it awhile.

Score: 3

What do you call Michael J. Fox spinning around in a chair? A fidget spinner

Score: 12

A blind man walked into a bar then a chair, then a table

Score: 2

My wife's a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed

Score: 3

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and then a chair. and a table.

Score: 5

A blind man walks into a bar. A chair.
A table..

Score: 5

So Helen Keller walks into a bar a table & a chair

Score: 10

What's the worst thing to bring to a Mexican standoff? A chair.

Score: 2

When I was a kid I kept asking my friend why he always got a massage chair and he never answered me. I recently found out he died having a seizure. Now I'll never know.

Score: 3

What's the difference between a backless chair and a stool? I don't have a backless chair fetish.

Score: 3

Why did the robot get the electric chair? He was charged with battery.

Score: 3

A gost walks into a bar Then through a wall, and a chair, and a table.

Not sure if this is a repost but I thought of it myself

Score: 3

So I bought a new chair today Guess you can say I'm SATisfied.

Score: 2

A blind man walks into a bar... And a table...and a chair...and the waiter...

Score: 4

A blind man walks into a bar.... then a table, and then a chair.

Score: 5

What is the best way to break a shield apart? Seth Rollins with a chair

Score: 2

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security? It was armed.

Score: 8

A woman goes to the dentist And is told she needs to have a tooth pulled.

She says, "oh no, I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled "

The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind, I need to adjust the chair"

Score: 2

What's better than winning the wheel chair basketball championship? Having legs...

Score: 2

Have you guys heard of the joke about the electric chair? It's shocking.

Score: 6

What's the worst part about eating your vegetables? Putting them back in the wheel chair.

Score: 2

Helen Keller Helen Keller walks in to a bar....

Then a table...

Then a chair

Score: 4

My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me. It was electrical.

Score: 4

What do you call an attractive person in a wheel chair? Hot wheels.

Score: 9

Don't ever debate with an absurdist... because you will always chair apple man with hands for eyes.

Score: 3

What do u call a nun In a wheel chair Virgin mobile. XD

Score: 2

My wife said she's leaving me because I am so immature I was so surprised I nearly fell off my high chair.

Score: 4