Hilarious Chef Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Chef Jokes

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

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I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It's a whisk I was willing to take.

Score: 1569

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef? He spent his day cutting up vegetables

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What is a chef's favorite gun? A-salt-rifle

I'll show myself out

Score: 169

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

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Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.

Score: 127

What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? "Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"

Score: 125

My Grandad, who died in the war, could only be a chef due to his dyslexia. He went out all buns glazing.

Score: 117

Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d’olive

Score: 116

Why did the French chef commit suicide? he lost his huile d'olive

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Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

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What do you call a mentally retarded chef? A slow cooker

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What do you call the salad of an epileptic chef? A seizure salad.

Score: 83

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said- 'the food looks delicious, let's eat.'

Wife: 'Honey.....you pray before every meal when eating at home'

Husband: 'that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.'

Score: 79

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work? Little seizures

Score: 77

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

Score: 75

Did you hear about the depressed French chef? He'd lost the huile d'olive.

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A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak

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A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.

Score: 64

A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!"

Score: 63

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way last night.

Score: 59

How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month? He started a swear jar.

Score: 49

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please. There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

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Who was the Pharaoh's favourite chef? Gordon Ramesses

Score: 45

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded? What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Looks like we have debris all over the place

Score: 43

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got crêped out.

Score: 41

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

Score: 41

Why did the French chef commit suicide? Because he lost the huile d'olive.

Score: 39

Have you heard about the Italian chef? He pasta way

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Why did the French Chef kill himself? ...Because he lost his huile d'olive!

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A man and a woman are in a restaurant... When their food arrives, the man exclaims “Well this looks delicious! Let’s eat”

“But don’t we have to say prayer first?” Says the woman

“Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook”

Score: 18

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? "Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Yeah, he pasta way.

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What do you call a chef with one eye? Chief

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A chef lost one of his legs in a kitchen accident... ... now all he cooks is Lean Cuisine.

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What did Bob Marley say to the chef? What Jamaican?

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What do you get when you cross a chef and a waitress? A cold meal

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Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta away recently.

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Did you heard about the Indian chef that fell down from the stairs? He was curryed away to the hospital.

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New Chef Jokes

What’s a chef’s favourite wrestling move? The artichoke

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What did the Italian chef say when he didn’t bring out dessert? Affogato

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Did you hear what happened when the chef accidentally added yeast to his clam chowder instead of flour? By the time he found out it was quite a soup-rise.

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Which kitchen job is the most fun? Chef de partie

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How does Scooby Doo introduce his black chef friend, Toni? "This is my rigatoni"

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Anyone heard of the Italian Chef that died? He just pasta-way.

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Why did the Chef have lots of Cow Friends? They gave him great Steak tips

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That chef must be sadistic. He's always beating eggs and whipping cream.

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Did you hear about the Middle Eastern chef who died while working on his cookbook? It will be released post-hummus....

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Why did the chef study accounting? He wanted to cook books.

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New Year and my hard of hearing aunt hired a new chef for her new chain of baker's. But Louis CK is not the master baker she thinks he is.

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A couple decided to cut their expenses. Husband: "You'll learn how to cook. Then we won't need a private chef anymore".

Wife, angry: "You'll learn how to make love. Then we won't need a private chauffeur anymore."

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I finally got to have a conversation with an Italian chef It was about thyme.

Score: 5

A chef asked a server for some items from the back. The server returned naked with a smile and a can of whipped cream, and the chef angrily exclaimed...

"THIS IS NEITHER THE THYME NOR THE PLATES!"

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What did the Gourmet Chef say to the local teenagers trespassing on his property? Hey! Stay out of Maillard!

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What do you call a chef that wants to start a business? An entree-preneur

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Why couldn't the chef cook a meal? He didn't have the thyme

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What does a chef say when he doesn't garnish his potatoes? I don't have any thyme for that.

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Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
He ran out of thyme He lentil us some of his best secrets.

Now top that.

Score: 2

I asked the chef at a fancy restaurant how he prepared his chickens. He said "Nothing fancy. I just tell them they're going to die."

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What's Swedish Chef's evil twin's name? Swedish Jeff

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An Australian Chef was caught spitting on every dish he made. His career's saliva now.

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What do you call a Native American culinary assistant? A Sioux Chef

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Did you hear about the dyslexic chef who wanted to cook with MSG? He ate a bullet.

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You can always tell when a chef is Russian. They never put thyme into the dish!

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Why was the French chef sad? He lost his huile d'olive.

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Q. Why shouldn't you hire a midget chef? A. The steaks are too high

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How did the pasta chef ruin his career? He couldn't stop hitting the sauce.

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"I like cooking up trouble" Says Miss Chef

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What made the chef stop cooking ? He ran out of Thyme

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Costumer to the waiter: "A compliment to the chef!" Waiter back at kitchen: "You are beautiful, Harold!"

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New studies show that becoming a chef is the number one job for homeless people after re-integration into society... Many cite their strong resumes as the key to their success considering they have a lot of experience pan handling.

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Did you hear about the chef who never understood how animal-based oils help the cooking process? For him.... The Lard works in mysterious ways!

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I wanted to become a chef but I didn't have the thyme

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Did you guys hear about that famous chef who just died? He pasta way.

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What happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way.

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What happened when the chef died? He pasta-way

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Why did the chef quit his job? They cut his celery

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A little known fact about Hitler was that he was an amateur Chinese chef He wrote a best selling cookbook, Chow Mein Kampf.

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What did the cake say to the chef? Remember the a LA mode

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If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food? Not Nestle Sara Lee

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Why did the blonde chef think she was depressed? Because she cried every day when chopping onions.

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What is it called when an award-winning Spanish chef has mushrooms for breakfast? "The Breakfast of Champiñones"

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How do you tell if a cannibal chef is ambitious? They always go on about trying to make something of themselves.

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What do you call a chef that masturbates? A meat-beating meat-beater.

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Why was the chef was devestated to find a recipe torn out of his cookbook? ...it was his main sauce of income.

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I still can't believe how the pastry chef died... It's hard to imagine a cruller fate.

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What chef has the most fun? Chef de partie!

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Heard about the famous italian chef that died? He pastaway, here today gone tomato,we cannoli do so much. He will be pizza history!

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Have you heard about the Italian chef that recently died? Yeah, he pasta way.

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My girlfriend is amazing, she is a Chinese food chef So shes very Lo Mein-tenance

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What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight? You wanna pizza me?!

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Did you hear about the Italian chef last night? He pasta way

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I've been trying to cook Indian food all year but I keep getting spices everywhere At least I look like a seasoned chef

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What did the unskilled chef serve as a side dish? Mediokra

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A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

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What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!

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They call me the Pastry Chef Because all your mothers came to get cream pies from me.

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What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy

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You know, living away from my parents really makes me realize how much I need a dishwasher that's also a really good chef

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