Contents
Contents
What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly? Reintarnation
Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field? The pot was calling the cattle back
It is funny how my wife waits for me in the kitchen all night till I come back from the pub... ...just to ask me what time it is.
If I die and come back as a hillbilly Is that reintarnation?
The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was that one night stand.
My gf told me to leave and never come back... My gf told me to leave and never come back. As I was leaving she screamed, "I hope you die a slow painful death" so I said, "Oh so now you want me to stay?"
I wish my Dad was the Terminator... ...because then he'd come back.
First Day At School
The child comes home from his first day at school.
His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous I see a lot of new faces today.
I asked a girl to come back to my place and as she was looking through my books...
She asked, "How come you've got so many copies of 'War and Peace'?"
I replied, "It's a long story..."
Once in a bar, one guy says to another... "I slept with your mom last night." The whole bar falls dead silent waiting for the second man's come back. After a while, he laughs and says... "let's go home, dad. You're drunk."
A programmer's wife tells him to go buy some milk, and, while he's there, to get eggs. He hasn't come back.
Once I threw a Boomerang but it didn't come back Now I live in fear
What do you call it when you die and come back as a redneck? Reintarnation
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow." I said you're obviously not listening.
Welcome back to /u/JokeExplainBot
I banned on a rule that we had enforced in the past. However, we talked the issue over and were able to reach common ground. Sorry for any trouble this caused.
/u/ElderCunningham
Back in my day, I could go to the store with a dollar and come back with a bag of chips and a comic book. Now, they've got cameras
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick
Dads are like a boomerang.
They come back.
...right?
When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here. Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
A man is being offered a job
"What's the pay like?" he asks.
"We'll pay you $50,000 this year and $100,000 next year."
"Okay, I'll come back next year"
My dad told me this joke years ago I'll come back
I know a boomerang joke I forgot it, but I'm sure it'll come back to me.
A man saves up enough money to take his kids to Disneyland...
...when he goes to tell them about it, his son says "Thank you so much, daddy! When are we going?"
"Well, whenever we save up enough to come back."
Coming Back as a Hillbilly
Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A. Reintarnation
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back when you throw it? a dead cat
Welcome back to invisibility class. It’s really disappointing to see so many of you here.
Why does Norway's Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can... Scandinavian.
I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me.
My mother used to say "never come back home late at night" I never disobey her. I come back early in the morning.
Back In my day you could go to a convince store with a dollar and come back with some chips and 3 candy bars Now they have cameras
I dated a girl in a wheel chair once.
it was a tough relationship tho. Have you ever heard the saying "If you love her then let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be"?
Well don't let her go on a hill by a lake, cause she don't come back
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".
I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20 That way I'm always the highest bidder
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Dad.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If it doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
Why did the flying cows decide to come back to the ground? The steaks were too high.
I was going to tell a joke about a boomerang... But I can't remember it. It'll come back to me.
I got dumped by a woman that was a nutritionist. She said, "Come back to me when you know what's good for you."
If reincarnation was real, I'd come back as a table cloth I'd get laid three times a day and pulled off at night.
The other night, I asked a woman If she wanted to come back to my place for a cuddle. She said, "There will be no spooning. There will definitely be no forking. But if you talk to me again, there will be a knifing."
This quarantine is a lot like the time between Christmas and New Years. I got new underwear, alcohol all over my hands, and my dad still hasn’t come back.
Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian.
My manager never wants me to go home... So I promised her if she let me go home I’d come back tomorrow.
Did you notice that there are no reposts of black dad jokes? It's almost like they would never come back.
Back in my days I could go to the store with a dollar and come back with a bag of chips and two chocolate bars. But nowadays they have cameras.
With the announcement of the first picture of a black hole, scientists have confirmed once you go black you never do come back
How does one get their wife to come back to them? Play country music backwards.
My grandpa doesn’t want me to work long term on a submarine He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples.
All my Jewish friends must have really liked their summer camps ...because they haven’t come back
What is similar to a boomerang that doesnt come back? My Dad.
My asian neighbour asked if he could walk the dog
They didn’t come back for a while, I was worried about my dog so I went to his house, dog was on the wok.
Edit: I am not racist nor trying to be disrespectful, just liked the play on words wok and walk :)
They say when you go to France that you never truly come back Well that was somewhat true for princess Diana
I asked my doctor: "Doc, did the lab results come back yet? The curiosity is killing me." Doc: "Well, it's not the curiosity ..."
Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick
Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*.
A blonde girl is in the woods...
She realizes she is lost and tries to make a fire. She fails and lies on the ground in defeat, crying.
But then her husband walks outside and tells her to come back inside.
I will never forget my daughter's words to me at her graduation. "Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back..."
Why does the Norweigan and Swedish navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back from voyages, they can Scandinavian.
Why does Norway navy have large barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandanavian.
[OC] Trump's Asia visit takes him to Vietnam today, which is a good thing... Because if you've been in 'Nam, you can never really come back home.
Apparently I was mistaken about the meaning of "gender-fluid" And I'm not welcome back at that support group ever again.
It's Talk Like A Pirate Day, so... "Hey, we all knew this would be a rebuilding year, we'll do some conditioning this fall, have a strong spring, and come back next year with a good run for the post-season."
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? My dad.
Ah, I had a great boomerang joke just now... It'll come back to me.
What's the difference between jews and scouts? Scouts come back from the camp.
My dad can beat up your dad! He just has to come back from getting ciggerrettes.
I cooked fancy meals for several Asian Nations, but they all left before paying the bill
Japan and Vietnam left without forking anything over and Korea totally desserted the place!
If they don't come back, then I may have to fine China
You can not lose a homing pigeon If your homing pigeon does not come back, then what you have lost is a pigeon
I went to a Justin Bieber concert the other day because... I went to a Justin Bieber concert the other day cuz my Daughter couldn't stop nagging about it. I bet she's gonna be all excited when I come back and tell her all about it!
I threw away my dead boomerang today... I hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.
Mom: Don't make me come back there Me: Who's gonna drive?
A programmer's wife told him, "Go and buy some eggs, and while you're out, buy some milk, too." He hasn't come back.
I just bought a boomerang from a poltergeist. That'll come back to haunt me.
What's the difference between dads and boomerangs? The boomerangs always come back.
What did Tim Cook sing to the iPhone 7? Hit the road jack, and don't you come back no more no more...
I told my wife we are all reincarnated, but MUST come back as a different creature. She said she wanted to come back as a cow..... .... then I said: "You obviously haven't been listening".
After an outage, what time does the power come back on?
12:00
--:--
12:00
--:--
What do you a call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes