Hilarious Concrete Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Concrete Jokes

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

Score: 1828

If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement, Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?

Score: 814

Score: 109

Authorities fear that the collapsed bridge in Genoa was made with 'Mafia' concrete..... ....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.

Score: 106

Hey girl, are you a large concrete structure forming an artificial lake? ...because dam.

Score: 49

Two fish swim into a concrete wall... One fish turns to the other and says, “dam!”

Score: 44

A fish is swimming and it hits a concrete wall. What does it say Dam.

Score: 43

What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall? Dam.

Score: 42

Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it? A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Score: 40

Two fish swim into a concrete wall... The one fish turns to the other and says,
"Dam."

Score: 39

A guy walks into a bar... his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away.

Score: 37

What do you call a gun made fully from concrete? An asphalt rifle

Solid joke right?

Score: 36

Two fish swim into a concrete wall "Dam"

Score: 29

Two lumps of concrete walk into a busy bar... They see some chairs next to a lump of tarmac, and the one goes over to sit when the other grabs him saying:

"Dude, don't sit next to him.. he's a cycle-path"

Score: 28

What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam.

Score: 27

I was trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials But I couldn't find any concrete evidence

Score: 21

When I die I want to be buried in wet concrete So that over time the plot thickens

Score: 19

A fish swims and hits a concrete wall, "Dam," yelled the fish.

Score: 19

how can you drop a raw egg onto concrete floor without cracking it? Anyway you want, a concrete floor is very hard to Crack!

Score: 18

To the person who has stolen my 5 tonne concrete boots and my invisibility cloak... You can't run but you can hide

Score: 15

two fish two fish swim into a concrete wall one turn to the other and says:"Dam"

Score: 14

How many law enforcement officers does it take to throw a handcuffed person down concrete stairs? None. They fell.

Score: 13

Archaeologists say that Roman cement was stronger than it is in modern times... I need to see some concrete evidence

Score: 11

What do you call the place where concrete is buried? A cementary.

Score: 11

I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression.

Score: 9

A man was murdered with a cinder block. The evidence was concrete.

Score: 9

Did you hear about the guy that put his head in a microwave? We now have concrete evidence that this is not a good idea.

Score: 9

I left my job as a Concrete Worker. It just seemed to get HARDER and HARDER.

Score: 8

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Score: 7

I think the kids next door stepped through my newly poured sidewalk Don't have any concrete evidence though.

Score: 7

I was thinking it might be a good idea if we buried Donald Trump in a few tons of concrete... ... but that might set a bad president.

Score: 6

While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck. Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

Score: 6

Two fish are swimming upstream and one of the fish hits his head against concrete. He looks to the other, and says "dam"

Score: 5

Yesterday I was walking past the state prison and saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down from the concrete wall, screaming insults at the guards.

I thought, "Well, thats a little condescending little con descending"

Score: 5

Do you know what the gift theme is for the 27th anniversary of being married? Concrete.

Score: 3

What did the fishy say when he swam right into a concrete wall? Dam

Score: 3

What did steel say to the concrete? Don't take too much tension!

Score: 3

What do you call a steel stick that you can pull out of concrete? Excalrebar!

Score: 3

Two fish swam straight into a concrete wall One fish said to the other

DAM!!!

Score: 2

Two fish were swimming along and suddenly run into a concrete wall. One of the fish exclaims "DAM!"

Score: 2

New Concrete Jokes

My girlfriend quit her job as a concrete contractor to become a sommelier. I'm not so sure about her career choices. She makes pour decisions.

Score: 0

Why did the physicist jump off a skyscraper? To find concrete evidence.

Score: 0

What kind of wall was Trump remembered for, concrete or steel? Neither, it was a huge stonewall.

Score: 2

What did the fish say after he swam head first into a concrete wall? "Dam"

Score: 1

What do you add to water to make concrete? About 400 feet.

Score: 2

Two fish were swimming in a river when they hit a concrete wall They both looked at each other and said "Dam"

Score: 2

I heard people talking on the street today, they were saying that we should dry George W Bush in concrete But I think that's setting a bad president

Score: 1

BREAKING NEWS: Man convicted of first degree murder. He pleaded guilty of killing another man by repeatedly slamming his victim's head in a door made of cement. "The case was open-and-shut." Said the prosecutor.

"We had plenty of concrete evidence."

Score: 2

Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road? It wasn't cement to happen.

Score: 2