Coronavirus Jokes

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Funniest Coronavirus Jokes

Coronavirus ruining your plans for 2020? Save them for 2022! Cause 2022 is 2020 too.

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I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic He said “I don’t know. I’m not really into politics.”

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What's the difference between CoVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One's a Coronavirus, the other is a Verona Crisis.

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Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus? Because he was a Quran Teen.

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Since I was the only one in my family to get the coronavirus, I had to tell them "Don't worry, I got you covid."

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The quarantine has ruined many marriages but mine is still going strong. Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from the coronavirus.

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BC now stands for "Before Coronavirus" and AD is now "After Distancing"

>!Welcome to the new dark ages!<

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The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors: 1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is

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Yo mama is like the coronavirus She keeps trying to spread, but nobody wants her.

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Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April He simply forgot to say 2021.

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‪This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus. ‬ ‪ Normally I don’t go because I’m poor‬

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Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.

>!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!<

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My girlfriend is like the coronavirus I don't have the coronavirus

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Why did the Coronavirus cross the road? Because everyone is an idiot

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What do my girlfriend and coronavirus have in common? They both leave me alone in my house with nothing to do but look them up online.

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How crazy is the coronavirus pandemic? Batshit crazy.

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I would tell you a Coronavirus joke But it would take 2 weeks to find out if you get it.

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Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus? Because she went to woo Han.

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Poor grammar and the Coronavirus both made me.. [sic]

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What can the coronavirus do that the us government can't? Stop school shootings

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What does Coronavirus and Cops have in common? They both take your breath away.

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Trump gets coronavirus The only thing that is positive in him

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This is the first year that we didn't go to Hawaii because of coronavirus... Every other year we don't go because we can't afford it.

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I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back Nobody laughed at first, but eventually everyone got it.

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With the coronavirus, Scorpion is now saying... "Stay over there!"

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What do you call a Coronavirus expert? A coroner.

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Unlike other countries, Syria, despite all their problems, did manage to get their people to be aware of public hygiene and satefy during coronavirus. Maybe because they already knew what Damascus.

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Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus. I didn’t realise they were that close!

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In Soviet America Coronavirus handles administration

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Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..." Makes me wonder why though. They obviously weren't answered.

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Y’know what would go great with the coronavirus? Lime disease

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We all may get Coronavirus But China got it right off the bat

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Disney Corp is so paranoid about the Coronavirus, they re-released the Snow White movie under another name It's now called, Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs.

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I know it’s important to be optimistic in times like these... ...but I wouldn’t want to be positive when getting the results of a Coronavirus test.

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What do you call it when you contract a sexually-transmitted disease from A hooker after A crazy night drinkingMexican beers. The coronavirus, of course.

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How do you dissapoint 330 million people? Call Coronavirus, COVID-19

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If I get Coronavirus, give me lime disease. Because it ain't a corona without a lime.

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The Coronavirus sounds like something you'd tell your parents you had after a night of underage drinking Kid: "Ugh, I feel awful and I have the worst headache"

Mom: "Oh no kiddo, what's wrong?"

Kid: "Oh, I uh, I have the coronavirus"

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more coronavirus mirth how come people panic buy toilet roll, don't they have a flexible shower head?

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The novel coronavirus is literally the most-talked about thing on Earth right now... but I'm not really much of a reader so I'll probably just wait for the film adaptation instead.

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New Coronavirus Jokes

My buddy still plans to throw a party despite this coronavirus Please send him your thots and players

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My wife and coronavirus have something in common. I have no control of either so I just learned to deal with it.

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The world health organization has announced that dogs cannot contract coronavirus.all dogs previously quarentined can go out In short, WHO let the dogs out

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Why don't Juggalos get coronavirus? They have developed a superior immune system. Instead of using phagocytosis, they use faygocytosis.

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So I was on Internet Explorer the other day. Apparently there’s been a few cases of this thing called coronavirus in China. I wonder if Chrome and the other browsers know.

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What dose a coronavirus say to a coronavirus Ey bro got the corona beer

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Our government is safe during the Coronavirus Human to Lizard transmission has yet to be proven.

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What’s the difference between social security and coronavirus? Millennials probably won’t get social security.

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Whats the Difference between coronavirus and me ? People pay attention to coronavirus

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Breaking Coronavirus News Senator Phil Simptoms has been quarantined.

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With all this stress regarding the coronavirus pandemic, I’ve decided to plan a getaway to Italy for the weekend. I hear it’s really breathtaking over there!

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How do I keep track of Coronavirus? I-taly

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I think I have a spreading addiction to drinking beer. It may be the Coronavirus.

(Sorry if repost)

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the first death in Russia caused by coronavirus. The patient had other conditions: at autopsy they found a bullet in the head

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Why did Coronavirus force Microsoft to close their stores? Research suggests it can live for three days on surfaces.

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In light of the Coronavirus outbreak, I chopped off my mustache to reduce the amount I’m subconsciously touching my face. I decided better shave than sorry.

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Dad's army was sent to China to help fight the Coronavirus... ...Don't panic Mr mandarin!

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Whole Foods, in wake of the Coronavirus Pandemic is preparing to change their logo *Not a* Whole *Lotta* Foods

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Medical researchers carry proposed strategies for dealing with COVID-19 were in flight to an emergency meeting at the CDC, when the flight controllers suddenly walked off the job. Now the coronavirus plans are all up in the air.

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People keep calling the coronavirus the “Boomer Remover” but I think that’s really insensitive. It’s also making the Silent Generation even quieter.

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Cruise companies are getting hit hard by the coronavirus pandemic They’ll be lucky to stay afloat.

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Why are veterinarians not permitted to perform surgery on eagles infected with coronavirus? It's an ill-eagle operation

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The Coronavirus has stolen my Senior Year How Dare You

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A priest is in a bar when a rabbi walks in and says “I have the Coronavirus!” Then a nun walks in and says “so do I!” Then a black dude walks into the bar and robs all three of them.

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The coronavirus is striking everywhere All the Italians have pasta way

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My style of humor is like Coronavirus it kills among older crowds

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Canada is testing a vaccine for the Coronavirus... I heard it’s made from lime.

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Coronavirus is bad for population My wife became pregnant after the Work-From-Home policy started throughout the country.

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Want to kow what goes best with CORONAVIRUS? LYME disease.

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The Coronavirus has made Las Vegas the perfect travel destination. So long as you're betting the spread.

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The pope just twated negative for the coronavirus Which is a good thing since touches alot of people day to day.

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Tech people don’t get coronavirus Cuz they got an antivirus

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Coronavirus doesnt just make me mad... It makes me COVID

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CDC PR REPORT: Always be sure to refer to novel coronavirus by its correct name COVID19 From the office of Dr. Woo Han Phlu

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Coronavirus would be shortlived. Why? MADE IN CHINA.

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I don't see what the big deal is with this coronavirus... When I was in college I it the "bud flu," but now I just say "hangover."

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81 People Have Died So Far From Coronavirus in Honor of Kobe Bryant's Epic 81 Point Game This disease is a class act.

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