Cowboys Jokes

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One of them sees a tree in the distance that's draped in bacon. "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!" he says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*

Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? A: Turn off the XBox.

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation.

What do ghost cowboys wear? BoOoOts

What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl? The Dallas Cowboys

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola? The Cowboys Stadium.

Because they can't catch anything there.

Why are cowgirls Bowlegged? Because Cowboys eat with their Hats on.

How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb? They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl? Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged? Because cowboys eat with their hats on.

What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck.

Why do cowgirls have bow-legs? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on.

Why are cowboys bad at being accountants? Because they always round up.

What's the difference between a dollar and the Dallas Cowboys? A dollar is good for four quarters.

If we played cowboys and Indians I wouldn’t choose to be on losing team that would be Sioux side.

Two cowboys sitting on a fence watching a dog lick his nuts.. One says to the other, "man I wish I could do that" then the other says, "doncha think you should at least pet him first"

Mans dying wish Did you hear about the guy whose dying wish was to have Dallas Cowboys as his pall bearers? He wanted to give them the chance to let him down one last time.

Why do cowboys always want to die with their boots on? So they don't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.

Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie.

Top 3 lies told by Wyoming cowboys 1) I own this truck.
2) I won this belt buckle in a rodeo.
3) I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew. It was a choking hazard.

What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon? A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

(Don’t be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)

Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on.

What is the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill? A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.

How cowboys are made "Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Where do Cowboys come from?"

"Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. No food or drink. One of them spots a tree draped in bacon! He shouts “A bacon tree, we’re saved” and runs towards it. As he gets closer it shoots him full of bullets.

Turns out it wasn’t a bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

Why did the greenhorn buy a dachshund? All the other cowboys kept yelling " get a long little doggy "

The cowboys play the redskins this year in thanksgiving day. Just like the first thanksgiving.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common? Both, don't deliver on Sundays.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common? They both can't beat a pack

What's the difference between the Cowboys and the Indians? One plays football the other plays baseball

Trump's battle against ISIS is the grand strategy equivalent of a Patriots-Cowboys game. A lot of people you talk to somehow want both to lose.

There are these two cowboys herding some Bulls, One of them accidentally drops his lasso. The other picks it up and asks "Is this your rope?" To which the other replied, "No, this is America."

You know my favorite thing about the Dallas Cowboys logo? It's also their rating.

When do cowboys smoke? At high noon.

If there are four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving? The county sheriff.