Coworker Jokes

I told my hot coworker how I felt and she felt the same way... So I turned on the air conditioning

A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, "what are you doing!?!"

HR Manager said, "I don't like to hire unlucky people."

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned on the air conditioning.

Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work don't worry, he's fully recovered

My Nigerian coworker told me he was leaving early to go the doctor. I said “ Oh, which doctor?” He responds, “Yeah bro. “

In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me... "Because they make the toys."

A programmer tells a coworker that his wife just had a baby "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Yes."

My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work. And that’s how I learned he was a necrophiliac.

I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade... ...I'll be staying out of the shade then.

How do you cure a mute coworker? Tell them a secret

I got asked to leave a gender reveal party for my pregnant coworker. Apparently it’s just for the baby and pulling down your pants is “frowned upon.”

My coworker can no longer attend next week's Innuendo Seminar... ...so I have to fill her slot instead.

Today I pulled the dad jokes of all dad jokes. At work, my coworker complained of ear pain. He asked me to look for a bump, so I looked.

Then, I said, "oh I know what's causing the pain!" He asked what it was, and I pulled a quarter from his ear..

I should be ashamed.

I told my black coworker that I like to go to sleep listening to white noise. He said "Why does it gotta be white noise with you people?" I said because I can't go to sleep listening to rap music and gunshots.

With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was. I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.

office joke It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”

I just found out a coworker was just pretending to be my friend. He was a placebro.

My boss is refusing to let my string quartet play for a coworker's birthday party next week. He says he has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to workplace violins.

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along.. he can call him missile toe.

Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

A joke a coworker told me today: What do you get when you combine a cow, a duck, a piece of wood, and a rhino? Cow the duck wood rhino?

My coworker is unable to attend next week’s innuendo seminar I have to fill her slot instead

A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee... That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy...

My coworker was noodling on an idea So I offered her a penne for her thoughts

Coworker: Sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere. Me: Well it got me to the Sarcasm World Championships in Peru in ‘98.

Coworker: Really?

Me: No.

“Bill,” a sad-faced man says to his coworker, “I just heard the news about your uncle falling off that cliff. I’m terribly sorry. Were the two of you close?”

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“We were just close enough for me to push him,” Bill replies.

What do you call a group of British gentlemen who have misplaced their donkey? Assless Chaps

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My coworker used to tell me this one.

Courtyard My coworker wouldn’t shut up about the hotel he stayed at

I told him if you love it so much, why don’t you Marriot?

[True story] A coworker never heard of the burger restaurant “Five Guys” And his daughter told her “I had five guys last night and I’m not feeling well now.”

Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra. "I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"

A coworker of mine dated a psychic He told me she was very unique and well cultured.
I asked if she was a rare medium, well-done?

Leaving work, my coworker said, "Hasta lasagna!" I replied, "Pasta la vista!"

Edit: Was there a Dad Jokes subreddit I should have posted this to?

Difference between a therapist and a gossipy coworker Your therapist psychoanalyzes you, then reveals the results to no one except you.


Your gossipy coworker psychoanalyzes you, then reveals the results to everyone except you.

I was chatting with my coworker about cars last week and I was gonna ask him what kind of car he had... Before I could, he told me of his own accord.

My therapist told me that if I have a problem with somebody, I should sever ties with them. My coworker just asked me what I was doing to his clip-on.

My coworker claimed his computer was slow, so I put an unplugged computer tower next to him. He reported blazing speeds the next day Sounds like the PC-bo effect to me . . .

My coworker asked me why all the Plan B pills kept getting stolen I told her it was probably because they were easier to steal than vacuums

A coworker has a cold so he took out a pack of Fisherman's Friend. I told that that's what I need He said "Why, do you have a cold too?"

I replied "No, just lonely."

My coworker was arguing with me over the tip He said he take care of it, but I told him I should keep it since I'm the one that did the circumcision.

After work I tried to smoke with my Mexican coworker After I asked if he had papers he ran