Hilarious Desert Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Desert Jokes

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One of them sees a tree in the distance that's draped in bacon. "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!" he says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

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A man is stranded in the desert when he comes across a genie's lamp. He rubs it and the genie grants him just one wish. The man said, "I could die happy here, if I could just get..." ... one more 's'.

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Why do CSGO terrorists hate the desert? Because they don't want de dust 2 get in their eyes.

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If you watch 127 Hours backwards It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.

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What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert? San Diego

^^San-dee-eygo
^^^^sandee-eygo
^^^^^sandy-eggo
^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out

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Why does ISIS call camels "Ships of the Desert"? Because they are full of ISIS seamen.

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Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there.

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I was a big fan of Extreme Vetting Then I found out it isn't a show about skydiving into the desert to perform dog surgery.

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The Sahara desert walks into a bar. The barman says "long time no sea."

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If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring with you? I would take one for the team and bring Donald Trump.

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You'll never starve in the desert... Because of all the sand-which-is there.

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What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.

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Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years? Because one of them dropped a nickel.

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Two balloons were floating around a desert. One said to the other, "look, a cactussssssssss..."

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Two balloons are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, "hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"

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What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert? Very tired feet.

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It was the ‘bring your pet to school’ day today, there were a lot of birds Weirdly enough most of them were desert eagles!

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If Trump and Hilary were stuck on a desert island, who would survive? America

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What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.

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There was a magical young lady, eating lunch in the desert It was a sandwich

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Why can't you starve in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

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stranded on a desert island If I was stranded on a desert island I would take along a deck of cards. Because everyone knows after about 20 minutes of playing solitaire someone will come up behind you and tell you you're doing something wrong.

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A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert... The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."

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What is sweet and sticky and crosses the desert? A caramel

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"Son, where did you learn to use an axe like that?" "In the Sahara Forest"

"Don't you mean the Sahara Desert"

"Well sir, that's what they call it now"

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Why are camels called ships of the desert? Because they're full of Muslim seamen.

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Why are camels called the ships of the desert? Because they're filled with Arab seamen.

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Man comes for a lumberjack's recruitment interview Recruiter: Do you have any experience as a lumberjack sir?

Man: Yes, I used to work in the desert.

Recruiter: But there are no trees in the desert!

Man: There are no trees... anymore, sir.

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Trump launch a military campaign against Syria Operation Desert Stormy

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Two men are in the desert and they see a third man fishing. The first man says to the other: “Look at that idiot fishing in the desert.”
The second man replies: “That’s none of our business, just keep rowing.”

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I thought I was in heaven when I happened upon a shack in the middle of the desert. It had a sign that read, 'Cannabis Hut, get baked for free!' Apparently, cannibals can't spell very well.

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What do you call a chinese man in a desert? A Hallucinasian

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What did Watson say when he and Holmes got stranded on a desert island? "No ship Sherlock"

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Luke Skywalker goes to eat at an Italian restaurant, finishes dinner then orders desert. Only one canoli.

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There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.

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After wandering for 10 years in the Desert, a man finally stumbles upon a remote brothel. This was his return to syphilisation.

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A plane carrying Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, and Bashar Asaad crashes in the desert. Let's go get ice cream.

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Do you know why you can’t starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

Source: I’m a dad.

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If King Arthur were to fight in the Crusades, where would he get desert-loving steeds? At the Camelot!

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New Desert Jokes

I like to eat cheesecake on the Sahara It’s my favorite desert

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2 cowboys are walking through the desert. One of them sees a tree covered in bacon and runs towards it. He is instantly shot. Because this was no bacon tree. This. Was a *ham bush.*

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Why is it impossible to die of hunger in a desert? Because of all the sandwiches there (sand which is there).

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For me, walking in the desert is like a piece of cake... ... I get baked

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What did the fertile spot in the desert with water tell it's sister? Oh, ey sis

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I had a really hot dream last night... I was in the middle of the desert, high noon, next to an erupting volcano, wearing a parka.

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To abandon an ice cream sundae in Death Valley is to Desert your dessert in a desert.

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What do you call a phallic, prickly plant in the desert? A Cocktus.

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If I could only take one thing with me to live on a desert island... I probably wouldn't go.

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Gary Johnson woke up the day after the election... Gary Johnson: "What happened? Am I president?"

Doctor: Sir, we found you passed out naked in the desert.

Gary Johnson: Far out man.

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What does somebody want most when they're stranded in the desert and their camel runs away? They want their camel bak.

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How did the Arab find the goat in the Desert? Delightful

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Two grains of sand are in the desert... ... suddenly, one of them turns to the other one and says: "Look! We're surrounded!".

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Why will you never go hungry in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

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Two grains of sand in the desert.. The first one turns around and says to his friend: "Dude, I think we are being followed".

I'll see myself out.

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What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie

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Whats the dumbest animal in the desert? The polar bear.

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Another Dutch joke about the Belgiums Two Belgians are walking in the desert with a car door. One of them complains that its too hot. The other one says: "just roll down the window."

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