Diabetes Jokes

Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes.
Billy has diabetes.

I was just on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

Just been on a diabetes awareness website.... It asked me if i accept cookies.




Is that a trick question?

What did Santa get the day after Christmas? Diabetes

Diabetes runs in my family... Because no one else does.

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... how much do you like kids?... Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee

I was telling my wife about how diabetes runs in my family. She told me, "Don't be silly, nobody runs in your family."

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does John have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

If you have 13 candy bars and John eats 9, what does John have? Type 2 diabetes

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

My uncle has diabetes and alzheimers I asked him where his feet were and he was stumped.

Life is like a box of chocolates It sucks if you have diabetes

Jimmy has 36 candy bars, and he eats 28. What does Jimmy have? Diabetes.

Jimmy has diabetes.

Life is like a box of chocolates It really sucks if you've got diabetes

Kids living outside of the US won't get this. Type 2 diabetes.

My girlfriend has been having a really hard time with her hay fever and diabetes, so I thought I’d get her something nice. Nothing fancy, just some flowers and chocolates.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them what does John have? Diabetes. John had diabetes.

What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk? Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk? Diabetes

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes? You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/

Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects. I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

Why is there no cure for diabetes? Because they can't have a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down.

Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now? Diabetes.
Ben has diabetes.

How easy is it to kill someone with diabetes? It’s a piece of cake!

Life is like a box of chocolates It really sucks if you have diabetes

Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes

Life is like a box of chocolates! It really sucks when you have diabetes... :(

My doctor told me quite harshly that I have to quit eating sweets if I want to avoid diabetes He didn't sugarcoat it.

Jim has 125 candy bars. He eats 76 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. Jim has diabetes

Teacher: class let’s do math. Teacher: so bob has 25 candy bars he eats 10. What does bob have

Student: 15 CANDY BARS

Teacher: no bob has diabetes.

Ron has 36 candy bars and he eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes.

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we'd all have Type II Diabetes

My girlfriend has hayfever and diabetes I try to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate, but she doesn't appreciate it.

I use to call my wife "my sweet" She developed diabetes.. So now I call her "my sweetener"

A Frenchman, a German, and A Jew are stranded in the dessert... the frenchman says: I'm tired, I'm thirsty I must have wine
the german says: I'm tired, I'm thirsty I must have beer
the jew says: I'm tired, I'm thirsty I must have diabetes

I don’t know why people say that diabetes is hard to beat I’ve already made it past stage 4

A teacher asks a student a Maths question... 'Okay Jimmy' says the teacher. 'If I have 50 bars of chocolate and someone gives me another 50 bars of chocolate and I eat 40 bars of chocolate what do I have?' 'Diabetes' replies Jimmy.

Yo mama Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes!