Dirt Jokes

When I was little, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.. It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

As a child I had a medical condition where I had to eat dirt 3 times a day in order to survive Luckily my older brother told me about it

I accused my wife of adding dirt to the garden. She denied it. The plot thickens.

When i was a boy, i had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to stay alive... It’s a good thing my brother told me about it

Two guys stumble out of the bar and want to fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'm gonna punch you!"


That was the punch line.

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.” That was the punchline...

Nun joke Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."

"Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt..." "It was ground this morning, sir."

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

That CIA surveillance leak sure is scary I hope my Roomba doesn't start gathering dirt on me

Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA. - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring

Why do they bury politicians under 6 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they're good people.

If you think your microwave and your TV spying on you is bad. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

This coffee tastes like dirt Well it was ground this morning

I like my women like I like my coffee... Exported for dirt cheap from third-world countries.

How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any kids? Because everytime his wife gets hot ,he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. :-P

I knew someone had added dirt to my garden. And so, the plot thickens

Two guys stumble out of a bar on night to fight. The first man draws a line in the dirt and says " if you cross this line i'll punch you"

That was the punch line.

My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning She asked me how to get her hand out quickly.

I told her, "Dig south for her arm, bae."

Why do we give mud baths to old people? To get them used to dirt.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.

When arguing, never throw dirt at your opponent All you do is lose ground

Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight! One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, "If you cross this line i will punch you!"

That was the punchline.

Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time... When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.

Apparently she stood him up.

What do Mars and Oklahoma have in common? A lotta red dirt and no signs of intelligent life.

I used to have an addiction to dirt But I've now been clean for over a year

Why can't smokey the bear and his wife have kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he throws dirt on her and beats her with a shovel

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum? The position of the dirt bag.

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

I was doing the laundry today and I started reading the side of the detergent and it said… Tough on Grime.

Smashes Dirt.

Hard on Stains.

I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…

I have a rare symptom and the cure is to eat 2 handful of dirt each day Thankfully my brother told me

A Creationist and Atheist Debate Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

People tell me my coffee tastes like dirt... It was just ground this morning!

Donald Trump does not tell lies. He said everyone would be covered under his Healthcare plan.

He just forgot to mention that the poor would be covered by 6 feet of dirt.

I once got in a fight with a pile of dirt... The pile of dirt won by a landslide.

I went to a fortune teller and they said in 30 minutes I would get dirt on my leg... I guess it's just dusty knee

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? Which end the dirt bag is on.

Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they're really good people.