Hilarious Disabled Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Disabled Jokes

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities. Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

Score: 5197

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf... So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girl friend is disabled. Now we wait.

Score: 2520

I believe in giving jobs to the mentally disabled... but we shouldn't elect them President.

Score: 964

I told my girlfriend my mother is deaf... So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mom that my new girlfriend is disabled.

And now we wait.

Score: 843

Someone made a post offending handicapped people, but I didn’t reply. The comments were disabled.

Score: 520

Score: 324

I hate it when people make fun of the disabled They can't even stand up for themselves

Score: 296

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants. I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

Score: 236

Women are like parking lots. The good ones are already taken and the others are either disabled, mother with child, or you pay for your time.

Score: 190

What's better than being able to use disabled parking spots? Legs

Score: 187

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night I wanted my first time to be special.

Score: 177

Women are like car parking spaces... Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one

Score: 168

Women are like parking spaces.... All the good ones are gone, so every now and then when no one is looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Score: 158

Political correctness gone mad. I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son.

Apparently it's my "daughter."

Score: 115

After being in an accident that disabled both my legs... The doctor walked in with the medical bill,

I couldn't stand to look at it.

Score: 109

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? One likes men and the other is disabled.

EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.

Score: 99

Women are like parking spaces... Normally, the good ones are taken so occasionally, when nobody is looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

Score: 84

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl. I wanted that first time to be special.

Score: 76

Today I watched a video called 10 best wheelchairs in the world. Bellow the video it said comments are disabled.

Score: 76

What do you call a army of disabled people? Special forces

Score: 73

Putting Your exam results on the window of your car So you can park in disabled spots.

Score: 69

I organised a day of sponsored bungee jumping for the local disabled group... Perhaps calling it 'spastic on elastic' wasn't one of my greatest ideas...

Score: 68

I like my women like i like my updates Disabled

Score: 65

I like my women how I like McAfee antivirus Disabled.

Score: 64

I joined a forum for people with Down syndrome. Comments are disabled.

Score: 56

What do you call a disabled paedophile? A creepy crawler

Score: 54

Women are like parking spaces. Normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

Score: 48

I saw a sign that said disabled toilet No one will help me find the button to enable it.

Score: 43

Women are like parking spaces The good ones are taken and the available ones are disabled

Score: 38

What do you call a disabled paedolphile? A creepy crawly

Score: 38

What do you call a trio of disabled people? Cripple threat...

Score: 26

Three disabled people walk into a bar. Praise the Lord!!!

Score: 19

Women are like parking lots. When all the good ones are taken sometimes you have to put it in a disabled one.

Score: 16

What do you call it when you get an STD from someone who is disabled? The Handi-clap.

Score: 14

I saw a man pull up..... to a disabled park in a golf buggy. I couldn't help but wonder what his handicap was.

Score: 14

What do you call three disabled babies born at the same time? Cripplets

Score: 12

Women are like parking lots, All the best ones are taken so when no ones looking, stick it in the disabled one.

Score: 10

I wasn't sure about doing a charity marathon but... I realised it was for disabled people so I thought I had a good chance of winning

Score: 10

Parking slots are just like women You can slip into the disabled ones when nobody's looking.

Score: 7

What do you call a disabled hipster? A cripster.

Score: 7

New Disabled Jokes

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people A vegetable garden

Score: 4

What do disabled people do for fun? Diss abled people

Score: 5

Even after saying “Hey Siri” multiple times, it didn’t hear me. I then realized Siri was disabled.

Score: 0

My disabled friend told me a joke. It wasn’t funny, I guess he’s not a stand up comedian

Score: 3

Most people hate buzzfeed, but I think it’s a wonderful organization I mean, they give disabled people the chance to have a job in journalism!

Score: 0

Did you hear the one about the police officer who pickpocketed the disabled midget? I never knew someone could stoop so low.

Score: 0

My girlfriend told me to turn the vegetables on Apparently fingering her disabled sister was not what she meant

Score: 4

Genders are like public bathrooms Male, Female and Disabled

Score: 2

I work with developmentally disabled adults and one of my clients asked me to post this one: I will gladly take your downvotes, 'cause this guy is a gem. He comes to me everyday with a new one!

Q: What did the seal say when he swam into a wall?

A: Dam!

Score: 1

did you ever here about Einstein’s learning disabled nephew? You could say he had a special relative.

Score: 3

What do you call a drug addicted woman who takes advantage of a mentally disabled man for years? Jennay.

Score: 2

I like my women how I like Cortana on Windows 10... ...Disabled.

Score: 3

I once joined a forum for people with down syndrome. The comments were disabled

Score: 3

Did you hear about the fire at the school for the mentally disabled? Some of the kids started it because they thought they were fire retardant.

Score: 4

I saw a documentary about disabled people It wasn't too moving

Score: 3

I'm starting a program for mentally disabled people to restart there life with all of the technological advancements they may have missed out on when they were young. It's called "are you restarted?"

Score: 3

Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder Crippling Depression

Score: 3

I wonder do cannibals remember to eat their vegetables? And I'm not talking about disabled people here.

Score: 2

What is positive about beeing blonde? You are allowed to park your car in the disabled spot

(Dont know if it have been done before, no energy to scroll through the endless thread)

Score: 4

Why do disabled people hate Pixar? Because they can't stand Up.

Score: 6

There was a gang war going on between two disabled groups... Blinds vs cripples.

Score: 2

I hate it when people make fun of the disabled. I don't know how other people can stand for it.

Score: 3

What do you call a woman who has no arms, no legs, but gives good head? Partially disabled.

Score: 1

I was walking down the street when I saw a disabled man in a wheelchair being harassed... so I stood up for him.

Score: 3

A man walked into a disabled toilet It was a miracle.

Score: 2

Tormented for over an hour... that poor mentally disabled man... But, you have to give the intel folks who brief Trump, credit for trying.

Score: 2

What do you call a hot girl with no legs? Disabled.

Score: 1

Everybody is all like " Yo you can't make fun of disabled people that's messed up! " But then those same people saying that go and make fun of Donald Trump..
Some people have no shame or class.

Score: 0

What do you call a disabled air marshall? A chair marshall.

Score: 1

What do you call a disabled Lego? An O.

Score: 5