Hilarious Energy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Energy Jokes

I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life... Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...

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Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state.

Score: 553

What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

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You Matter. Unless you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared. Then you energy.

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All Lives Matter ...until you multiply them by the speed of light squared.

Then all lives energy.

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A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine... The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

Score: 178

Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."

Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."

[BTW this was original]

Score: 163

Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

Score: 161

A Soviet newspaper announces: "Last night, the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station fulfilled the Five Year Plan for heat energy generation..."

"...in four microseconds."

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Due to the recession and to save on energy costs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.

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Don't make fun of vegans... They only have the energy to be offended once or twice a day.

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Black lives matter. Unless you accelerate them to the velocity of light, then black lives energy.

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H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge

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"You're a unit of electrical energy, Harry." "I'm a watt?"

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Inspired by a church sign that read “Tell someone that they matter” I pulled my daughter aside and said to her in my most sincere voice: “Unlike energy, you occupy space and possess rest mass.”

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You matter... Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy.

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What do you call a scientist that steals energy? A joule thief.

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Breaking up is like physics ... She keeps saying that I have no energy.

I keep telling her that I have potential.

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One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years Therefore, if you chug two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!

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A husband was on his deathbed with his wife by his side. "Honey, I have something to confess to you.", he says.

"No dear, save your energy."

"I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven." He says. "I cheated on you."

"I know." She said. "I poisoned you."

Score: 31

Just went to the store and bought a pack of energy saving light bulbs... As the woman scanned them, she asked, "Will you be putting these up yourself, sir?"

"'Erm, no." I replied. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?"

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We need to start investing more in solar energy But it's not just going to happen overnight

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Love is energy over time Because Watt is love?

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Albert Einstein once said, "YOU MATTER!" Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared, then you energy.

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Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator. If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.

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Which store do the Kardashians put most of their time and energy into? Photoshop

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YOU MATTER! Unless you're travelling with the speed of light, in which case YOU ENERGY!

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What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common? Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.

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I'm starting to feel that the united airlines memes are like beating a dead horse. so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.

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Ex-girlfriends don't understand physics .... She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything.

I kept telling her I had so much potential.

Score: 20

What alternative energy does Trump propose? White power

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I'm not saying my wife is fat... But I put an energy saving bulb in the refrigerator.

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NASA just reported they have lost contact with Voyager 1 after it crashed into something in the dark abyss of space Apparently they found my ex's heart, which drains all energy.

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Not sure which is the harder part about being vegan The discipline and focus it takes to eat that way, or the time and energy it takes to tell everyone you're a vegan.

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I hear Heisenberg and his wife are having problems When he has the time, he doesn't have the energy, and when he has the position, he can't get the momentum.

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What do you think of wind and solar energy? I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.

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You matter Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light...

then you energy.

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I watched a documentary on perpetual energy last night It went on forever.

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You're a measurement of energy Harry I'M A WATT!?

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New Energy Jokes

How much energy does it take to run a concentration camp? 6 million joules.

(I don't support what happened in the holocaust, I'm just an idiot playing with words)

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Conservation of Female Mass and Energy: Conservation of Female Mass and Energy: for every male action, there is a greater and definite female overreaction.

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Senator Al Franken introduces a new hoppy flavor of energy drink with a thick foamy head. However, it seems no one likes Franken's Stein Monster.

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There’s just no way around this: YOU MATTER. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared, then YOU ENERGY.

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I've been trying to save energy recently. So I threw out the treadmill and moved the beer fridge closer to my room.

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What is positive about beeing blonde? You are allowed to park your car in the disabled spot

(Dont know if it have been done before, no energy to scroll through the endless thread)

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What does an energy drink and tropical bird have in common? It takes more than toucans to wake me up.

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What does an iPhone drink for energy? Apple juice.

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What do you call a phaser-flavored soda? Mountain D.E.W.

[Directed-Energy Weapon](#s)

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I don't think its feasible to have 100% renewable energy It's just a Pipe dream.

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TIL: The CIA is funding black sites by using detainees in Cuba to manufacture a brand energy drinks. It's called "Guaranamo"

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What's a cow's main source of energy? Cowleries

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Renewable energy? I'm a big fan

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TIL that energy drinks are more effective... when you smoke them, and they're crack.

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Why is solar energy abusive on the seaside? Because it's the sun of a beach

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I'm like an Iphone... I lose energy while doing nothing.

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Conservative forces are those like gravity and springs that hold onto energy until released. These are not to be confused with liberal forces, which just give you energy if you ask nicely.

^(Please don't hurt me.)

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Fat people have lots energy. Potential energy.

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