Hilarious European Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest European Jokes

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

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I married a European chess master. He's my Czech mate.

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If you are Russian when you go to the bathroom and you are Finnish when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European

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What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union.

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I met this european guy last night who claimed he was a well endowed white supremacist Well, he said he was a hung aryan

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No matter if you are American or European 9/11 is a sad date

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The other day my European friend ask me about our views on lesbians in this country. Apparently, "usually in HD" was not the answer she was looking for

P.S sorry english not my native language

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I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes... My personal spell Czech.

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What nationality are you when you walk into the bathroom? Russian.

What nationality are you while you're in the bathroom?

European.

What nationality are you when you walk out of the bathroom?

Finish.

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If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom, and Finnish when you come out; what are you while in the bathroom? European

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A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.

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TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact

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If you're Russian when you're running to the bathroom, and Finnish when you're leaving, what are you in between? European!

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As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship... Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe.

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You’re American before you enter a bathroom, you’re American after you leave the bathroom. But what are you when you are inside the bathroom? European

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What do you call an Eastern European cashier? A Checkoutslovakian.

(Better said than read)

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An American starts using a urinal next to an Englishman The American turns to him and says "Hey European"

The Englishman replies "I know"

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Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, “Name?”

“Vladimir Putin”

“Country of Origin?”

“Russia”

“Occupation?”

“No, no. Just visiting.”

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What are you if you aren't European? Eurapoopin.

-my daughter

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So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again.

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If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out of the bathroom... What are you in the bathroom? European

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My friend just hired an Eastern European cleaner and it took her 15 hours to vacuum the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

If this is a repost then sorry, but I heard it today and haven't seen it on here before...

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If you go into the bathroom American, and you leave the bathroom American, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European.

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Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down? Greece.

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I was talking to a girl about the establishment of the 4th Reich when a girl told me that I was being politically incorrect Apparently the proper term is "European Union"

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What nationality are you in the bathroom? I bet your Russian to the bathroom but in there European.

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What are you when you're going to the bathroom? Russian. What are you when you're in the bathroom?
European.

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If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you get out. What are you while you're in the bathroom? European!

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A German is in the bathroom Someone knocks on the door.

"Are you peein?"

"No," the German responds, "European."

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If you're Russian to the bathroom, but American when you come out, what are when you're inside the bathroom? European.

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You go to the bathroom Russian. You come out American. What are you while you're in the bathroom? European.

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The lifeguard at my local pool is racist... How I know?

When he said I should leave, I asked why and he said, "European in the pool!"

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I really like European food... ...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

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Did you know that your nationality changes when you go to the bathroom? When you go in there, American (or whatever nationality you are)

When you come out of there, American

But when you are in there, European

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What does a British guy say when he beats an Eastern European at chess? Czechmate

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If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom and you're Finnish when you come out, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European

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What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games. Czech Mate

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When you go into the bathroom you’re American. When you come out you’re American. What are you while in the bathroom? European

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New European Jokes

Oh I'm gonna vote in November, but not for Biden. And not for Trump either because I'm European.

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I'm offended when I'm labled a white supremacist The preferred terminology is European-American supremacist

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What do comfortable underwear and European castles have in common? Ballroom

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You walk into the bathroom you’re American. When you come out you’re American. What are you when you’re in the bathroom? European and Russian

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How much space will brexit free up after leaving the European Union? 1 GB

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How mucj space will the Brexit free up in the European Union? 1 GB

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When you're in a restaurant you are an American. But when you go to the bathroom European.

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What's the difference between an African and an Eastern European The letter E

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Do you know how much space will be free when England leaves the European Union? 1 GB

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Person 1 Asked Person 2 To Name A European Country Person 1: Come on, you can name one!

Person 2: Norway.

Person 1: Are you serious?! You're not going to answer?

Person 2: There's Norway im telling you!

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As a European I will never understand the big deal about “9/11”. I mean what exactly happened on the 9th of November that was so memorable?

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You're an American when you go into the bathroom, and you are an Amwrican when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

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I have recently hired an Eastern European cleaner. She's good but takes an age to get any jobs done. Slovak.

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My boss told me I was getting a big bonus with two digits before the comma the bad news is She's European so it's only €12,89

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You’re all a Russian... ...on your way to the bathroom
European while you’re in there
And you’re Finnish when you’re done

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If you’re American in the kitchen and you’re American in the bedroom, what are you in the bathroom? European.

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If European in the bathroom, what are you before you get there? Russian

(A substitute teacher told this in my class today)

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Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at a New York airport... ...they couldn't let contraband trough customs.

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Why did the European arrive early? Because he was Russian.



I'll show myself out...

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Here's this funny meme I found of an European politician \[removed\]

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I once knew a man who spun Asian people round in a circle a few times and when he was done they would be European It’s the truth, he could disorient people.

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I love playing chess with my European friend. He’s my Czech mate

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What did the North-European sergeant say to his soldiers? Finnish them

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Have you heard about the international toilet spy? By night, he's an unassuming American, traveling with only a roll of paper... ...but bidet, he's European.

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What did the African say to the whites when they first arrived in Africa? European on me!

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What do you call an Eastern European weatherman? A RainCzech

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As of recent, Indias economy has drastically grown overtaking European economies.... I put it down to increased exports of white cotton sheets to the US.

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What's a prerequisite to joining the European Union? You're a nation

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What do you say to the German dude peeing on a tree? European!

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If you enter the bathroom Russian, and you leave the bathroom Finnish, what are you in the bathroom? European

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If you're Russian when you enter the bathroom what are you? European

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What is the question that has perplexed eastern european historians? Did Vlad Dracula remove kebab, or impale them?

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What do the European Union and the European Onion have in common? They both make people cry when they're chopped up.

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Congrats to the National Gallery on receiving a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. Which is to say ... they're getting Monet for nothing and the Czechs for free.

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I'm going to paint graffiti... Want to tag along?

Edit: I guess only European people get it

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If you're not a-poopin'... ...European.

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Arsene Wenger to be named new Brexit Minister. Since he led Arsenal to another quick European exit.

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My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight! He's the wurst.

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What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport? Cross country

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Why do American girls find European philosophy to be so odd? They just Kant even.

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