Gambling Jokes

People say gambling ruins lives, but it brought our family closer. We now live in a one bedroom unit.

A small man admitted himself to rehab with a gambling addiction It’s ok. He’s a little better.

I don't understand Christians They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven.

Me: Can you help me get over my gambling addiction? Therapist: You bet.

Me: Yes, that’s why I asked.

My girlfriend says she's going to leave me because I have a gambling problem But I think she's bluffing.

Gambling has really helped me get back on my feet Because I lost my car in poker last night.

My wife wants to leave me. She says I care more about gambling than I do her or our daughter. She’s obviously wrong. Why else am I refusing to leave the casino until I win my daughter’s college tuition money back?

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I have a gambling problem I think she's bluffing

Why is gambling illegal in China Because they hate Tibet

I told my friend "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again." Well, turns out he's addicted to gambling now.

My mate's gambling is getting out of hand. He's just bet his newborn son in our game of poker.

I thought, "I might have to raise him."

Why is the Dalai Lama suffering from a gambling addiction? Because he loves Tibet.

They say one out of every seven friends has a gambling addiction. My money is on Jimmy.

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Too many cheetahs

What did the nun wear to the casino? Her gambling habit.

Why Don't vampires like gambling? They get nervous when the stakes are raised.

I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said ‘Why? We don’t have gambling problems!’ I replied, ‘You wanna bet?’

I told my friend I had been in Africa gambling with the natives. “Zulu’s?” He asked. I said nope. I usually won.

I became addicted to gambling when I visited the Himalayas... What can I say? I like Tibet.

My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads. He has a serious gambling problem.

How do you stop a gambling addict from gambling? Make a bet. They won't refuse.

My wife told me I ruined our vacation. How's that possible when we never even went on vacation? I lost all the money gambling.

My wife left me today She said I am addicted to gambling. I give you 2:1 odds that she will regret it later.

My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction... I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.

Did you know the Dalai Lama has a gambling problem? Yeah, he loves Tibet

Why isn't there gambling in Africa? Too many cheetahs.

What's gambling like in heaven? It's a pair-a-dice.

What do you call a cow gambling for his life? High steaks.

How do you earn a small fortune by gambling? You start with a big fortune.

My friend told me he has a gambling addiction... ,,bet you can't quit"

Why did the Necromancer with a gambling problem get kicked out of the Slaughterhouse... He kept raising the steaks.

How much do you wanna bet that I have a gambling problem?

You know what they say about gambling Just keep trying.

Why is gambling illegal in Africa? Cause there are too many cheetahs.

My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't.

Did you know the Dalai Lama has a gambling problem? He likes Tibet!

My dad is strongly against my gambling addiction. He's no better

I think you have a gambling problem. I'll bet you $20 I dont.

I tried to tell my friend that I think she has a gambling addiction. I only got a few words out before she interrupted me, "Yeah, I'll bet you do!"