Gluten Jokes

What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other Gluten tag

What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag

When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag.


I'll show myself out.

The only thing sadder than a gluten free funeral... is a flourless grave.

A German is in the supermarket when he passes by a loaf of bread and greets it It had a gluten tag.

What do wheat, gluten, and Arkansas have in common? They're all in bread.

I have a new recipe that's gluten free, sugar free, no-fat, non-GMO, pesticide free, low-calorie, vegan, kosher and paleo-friendly. It's a real breath of fresh air.

My grandfather is a Russian immigrant, so the last few years have been really hard for him. But I'm thrilled to share that he's achieved his dream of opening a bakery! Please join me in wishing him luck with Vladimir Gluten.

I've haven't eaten gluten for a week... and I, personally, already feel *so* annoying.

A band of Superheroes walk into a Gluten-free, Soy-Free, non-GMO, organic, fat-free restraunt.... Just Ice was served.

Man with a beard a 100 years ago: "Ok, I'll go chop down some trees." Man with beard today: " I found a great face mask that's gluten and cruelty free."

Why is it so hard for economists to go gluten free? Because their food preferences are very sticky.

How does the German baker like to greet people? Gluten tag

Made gluten-free spaghetti for dinner. When I asked my boyfriend why he wasn’t eating it, he said: “It’s not real spaghetti. It’s an impasta.”

I should start a store that sells wheat and beans. It would be called "Gluten And Tootin"

A Vegan who is also gluten intolerant walks up to you. What is the first thing they say to you? "I crossfit"

How do you greet a celiac German? Gluten Tag

How does bread greet each other in the morning? Gluten tag!

How do you kill a gluten free Vampire? Garlic bread

Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*.

what did the doctor say to the gluten-free patient? "im putting you on bread rest"

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread? Gluten Tag

And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread?

Flour power

And when a lot of people do it at the same time?

a rye-ot

What do you say when you walk into a German bakery? Gluten Morgen!

My wife suggested that it might be nice if I bought her some flowers for her birthday. For some reason, she wasn't particularly happy when I handed over a bag of wholemeal, a bag of self raising and a bag of gluten free.

What does one German bread says to the other? Gluten Tag!

I’m glad companies give us the choice of gluten-free body wash. Normal soap makes my stomach hurt.

Why are gluten-free children so healthy? Because they're not inbred.

What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy? A silly-yak.

I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, "do you want to split a sandwich." I say, "sure" and then I'm just left with the bread.

How did the german donut say hello? Gluten-taag!

What do vegan gluten-free people miss the most? Friendship

What's the difference between gluten and hillbillies? One's inbred, the others in bread

When you go off gluten... ...you really go against the grain!

How does a German bread greet you in the morning? Gluten tag!

Someone with Celiac disease but still eats wheat... Is a gluten for punishment.

Which deadly sin do bread lovers commit? Gluten-ny

The Catholic church is considering going all-in on gluten-free wafers At risk is cross-contamination.

Why did the man with celiac disease eat a loaf of bread?... He was a gluten for punishment

Sorry if this offends anyone with gluten issues. Our son can't have gluten right now, so this joke came to me while I was toasting him some gluten-free bread.

Man with a beard 100 years ago : “OK, I’ll go chop down some trees.”
 
Man with a beard now: “I found a great face mask that’s gluten-free.”