Graveyard Jokes

why do they put gates around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in

Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.




(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone. I shouted "Morning!"

He replied "No, just pooping."

Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland. Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.

Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

Plane crashed in graveyard Police recovered 2000 bodies.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found. Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

A helicopter crashes in a graveyard... the police recovered 300 bodies.

What do you call graveyard shenanigans? Tombfoolery.

It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone" but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.

I recently had to bury my beloved grandmother in the local graveyard. She should be dead by now

I've always had a thing for the girl next door types, I like my ladies to be earthy, deep and quiet. It's great that I live next door to a graveyard.

I asked my grandfather what it's like in a graveyard He said he wasn't sure but it must be good, as last he heard everyone he knew was dying to get in there.

How many bones are there in a graveyard? A skeleTON.

We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: "Do you know why I can’t be buried there?"

"Why not?"

"Because I’m not dead yet, Son."

I'm always trying to make jokes at my work place... But in a graveyard, everyone is dead serious

Did you hear about the two-seater plane that crashed into the graveyard? Over 50 bodies have been recovered. Which is odd, considering its a two seater plane.

Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard? It's chilling...

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony playing backwards.
When it's over the Second Sympnony also starts playing backward.

"What's going on ?" he asks the cemetry worker.

"It's Beethoven" says the worker "he is decomposing"

TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger. He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

What do you call a group of unvaccinated children? A graveyard

Why are there fences around a graveyard? People are dying to get in.

Why are there fences near every graveyard ? Because people are dying to get in.

What happens once a year and only at a graveyard? Mother's Day for Disney characters.

A man was taking his dog for a walk one early morning As he walked through a graveyard to get back home, he saw a man crouching by a grave.
"Morning!" says the man with the dog.
The second man replies "Nope, just having a poo."

Why is there a fence around the graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!

Why did the graveyard get a COVID test? Because of all the coffin.

I saw a raffle at a graveyard... i knew something was wrong there, it was a dead giveaway...

Renewing public sector is like moving a graveyard. You won't get much help from those already there.

A training plane with 4 people crashes into a graveyard. 79 victims were found dead in the first hour of search and rescue. Authorities fear that the number may rise.

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people A vegetable garden

I tried to use the bury a dog above a body trick the graveyard employee didnt let me

What do you call a 2000 pound orgy in a church graveyard? A Sexton.

Why did the ghoul take his ghoulfriend to the cemetery? He wanted to do a graveyard-smash!


edit:words

Robert Mugabe admits to playing World of Warcraft You are not in this Presidential group.
Please leave office or you will be teleported to the nearest graveyard in 59..58...57

I just won a dead lifting competition between a few friends. I was ecstatic but the graveyard keeper wasn't very happy.

Man that graveyard is so popular Everyone is dying to get in!

Why did the chicken cross the graveyard? To get to... the other side!