Guess Who Jokes

Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! >!Everybody!<

Guess who woke up to 32 missed calls from their ex? My ex.

Stephanie, I miss you, please come back to me

My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"

"Your daughter"

courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago

Guess who‘s no longer a 24 year old virgin... ...i turned 25 yesterday.

A prostitute walked up to me and said, "I'll do anything you want if you give me $30" Guess who's getting his porch repainted!

Guess who stopped smoking this morning? Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

Guess who I ran into when I went to get my glasses. Everybody

Prostitute said she would do anything I asked.... Guess who's up to date with all his paperwork.

Guess who I bumped into at the opticians the other day? Everyone!

I went to the opticians the other day, you would not guess who I bumped into! Everyone

A prostitute said she would do anything for $10... Guess who just got their car washed!

Guess who I bumped into on my way to the optometrist Everyone

A prostitute approached me today offering to do anything I wanted for $10 guess who just got their car washed

Went to the opticians the other day, guess who I bumped into.. Everyone.

Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone.

I went to the Optometrists to buy some glasses the other day, you'll never guess who I ran into... Everyone.

I needed to go to the optometrist the other day, guess who I bumped into? Everyone

Guess who I bumped into on the way to the eye doctor? Everyone.

Guess who woke up with 17 missed calls from their ex today! My ex.

You'll never guess who I bumped into at the opticians yesterday..... .... Everybody!

Guess who missed Spiderman Homecoming? Uncle Ben.

I really hate being a comedian so I broke my legs Guess who’s not doing stand up comedy

I went to the eye surgeon the other day and you won't guess who i bumped into. Everyone!

Went to the Optician the other day, guess whom I bumped into? Everyone.

Guess who didn’t eat on thanksgiving? The turkey! It was already stuffed...

You aren't going to guess who is the most beautiful person in the world Read the first two words.

Went to my eye doctor the other day... Guess who I bumped into? Everyone!

Guess who my financial advisor is going to be for halloween. PENNY-WISE

Guess who went to the jungle last night without telling his wife A cheetah

What's the most popular game at a nursing home? Guess who

My girlfriend just broke up with me, so I stole her wheel chair... Guess who came crawling back

My girlfriend said I treat her like a child. Guess who isn't getting her milk bottle tonight!

Guess who just got laid! Not me. Probably someone, but not me.

Guess who I bumped into at Specsavers today? Everyone

Guess who just stopped smoking? Gen. Qassim Soleimani

Met a prostitute that will do anything for 100 $ Guess who's writing my take home exam ^^

Guess who I bumped into on the way to the eye doctor! Everybody!

You'll never guess who I bumped into in Specsavers... Everyone!

I saw a famous rapper on a beach in France today. Guess who it was. Kendrick La Mer